Prayer for Love

Thank you my friend.

bifrost

Three of Disks - Works

“You may never know what results come of your action, but if you do nothing there will be no result.” ~Mahatma Gandhi

Where Art Thou? (How did you get here?)

Driving home last night,

A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the doctor's book.
-- Irish Proverb

thinking about lifetimes I have lived

sur·ren·der - 1 a : to yield to the power, control, or possession of another upon compulsion or demand b : to give up completely or agree to forgo especially in favor of another 2 a : to give (oneself) up into the power of another especially as a prisoner b : to give (oneself) over to something (as an influence) intransitive senses : to give oneself up into the power of another : YIELD synonym see RELINQUISH 

and how people always think they know you, 

You’ve been walking the ocean’s edge, holding up your robes to keep them dry. You must dive naked under, and deeper under, a thousand times deeper!~ Rumi

but they forget they're looking out their own eyes~


To hold, you must first open your hand. Let go. ~Lao Tzu

seeing you through the glass

The creative process is a process of surrender, not control.

~Julia Cameron

of their own making~

They are the chosen ones who have surrendered.
~Rumi

that is scarred with years of resentments,

The greatness of a man's power is the measure of his surrender.

~William Booth

fogged with past deep disappointment,

“Self-interest is but the survival of the animal in us. Humanity only begins for man with self-surrender.” – Henri Frederic Amiel

pitted with suspicion,

 I cannot always understand His way, but I am content in the realization that He knows what is best. That is surrender.~Daya Mata

scratched with guilt,

Nothing is needed on your part to be done. Only one thing: a deep trust and surrender. ~Osho

so even if these were the best of times,

Surrender, surrender, but don't give yourself away. ~ Cheap Trick

they wouldn't be able to see it, unless they looked through a fresh lens.

And let the past mistakes, including the ones you think are not known, be water gone, under the bridge. All is already known, and already forgiven. Let it go, let it leave, let it heal, I have. (No wait, you can't know~ except that I do know, I did. I needed to feel life, so I said nothing.) You are not alone in transgression; you walked in while I was screaming, I am accountable as well. It took all I had then, all that was in me, to go and meet you there. And then you crossed my boundaries, and then you acted like I crossed yours~ and then I was incensed. So the flames grow higher, and the fuel that burns is hidden by the glow of the fire itself, and all that is felt is the heat. To understand the intensity, the fuel must be known. ~Sometimes terrible storms are what were needed to cleanse the soul. For Farimir's Sake it doesn't matter, there is not enough time, let's just dance, and feel life, and celebrate magic... I truly believe in you~ lighten up! I wanna go camping and burn stuff! :)

She KNOWS it's a Multi Pass.

Disjointed, Directionless, Rebellious, Oppositional, Wanderer

Cluttered, sure, but that's okay for now, it looks like the inside of my head. There are times in one's life when, after prolonged exigency, one must simply surrender and let all things rest where they land.  

Truth be told I've never stood quite in this place before. Constant Change is getting monotonous, I am grateful for solid ground and predictability under my feet these days. I've been doing the Radical Acceptance thing for a very long time, its something that must be practiced regularly. But I find myself now seeking reliability in the things that keep one grounded. Not blind faith, nor letting go of truth, just somewhere soft and safe to lay my head.  

Prayer of St. Francis by Sarah MacLachlan

Fear...

...would be a good reason to keep quiet, if I were built that way. You would also think it would quell my curiousity, but it does not. I have learned to live with Fear, it has been my companion throughout my whole life, and so I do not hear its warning shout sometimes. Its voice is like a mosquito in my ear. I tend to listen to it only when I shouldn't, perhaps because those are the times when the noise of real danger has receded. I am more comfortable in a room full of wild animals than at a concert or a poetry reading. Maybe I'll figure it out someday. Until then, keep watching, FYE~

Time for a Change

This page is slowly morphing, these posts are beginning to sound like another page I used to know. It might be time to open it back up for business, even if people have forgotten about it. Actually that might be a good thing :)

Just Say Good Bye,

There comes a time when you come to realize that you are invisible, that is when you cut your losses. There are people who see you in this world, people who you are real to, and those are the people who matter. Their hugs are firm around your back, their words are solid in your ear. Not the ones who don't even remember your dog's name because the whole time they were with you, they were thinking about someone else. They don't even see you as a Real Woman. Your hair isn't dark enough, you are not tall enough, you aren't enough of a bitch, you don't have a Romanesque profile, because you are Scotch-Irish, and you don't act like the Queen of Women (in other words you don't emulate the actresses on daytime soap operas on purpose). You don't cause intimidation. People confuse intimidation with respect, when someone is a cocky, snotty jerk to them, they feel bullied, and they think they are feeling respect. Feigning interest in you just to kill their own pain, build up their own self-esteem. No worries do they have for your well-being. They picked you because they wanted you for real, but they led you on after they couldn't let go of the other. What will happen? What always happens. You will haul ass, and he will blame you for the pretend-relationship failing, that way he doesn't have to own. Then after he realizes that he DID want you, he will call, but it will be too late, you will have moved to Nashville, or Florida, or maybe even California. And like the others, he will call you again, and then later again, and he will accidentally run into you somewhere, "you were the best, can we go for a drink" You will be gone, and you will be happy, without that ever-present feeling of not being seen as as much of a Woman as the taller, bitchier, arrogant, faux-earthy-brunette who thinks she is some kind of Mystic/Artist/Earth Goddess (too bad she doesn't know that a real Light Worker can not be arrogant or self-centered. Moron. Too bad he doesn't know that either.) You will be gone, and it will be too late. Even if it was meant to be. Fate may have brought you together, but after that it's all about real-time. All will be glorious, All will be well. For you. Hasn't there been enough darkness? It's time for light, time for laughter, time to let someone else's honesty shine on you for a change. Someone to have beer and pizza with,  share jokes and songs  with whenever the hell you feel like it. Someone who owns their issues and doesn't burn you with them! Calls you back, speaks, listens~ Someone who thinks you are as cool as you think they are...

Discussion Continued ~ My Thoughts On It

“No man or woman is worth your tears, but once you find one that is, they won't make you cry.”
~author unknown

So if I end up shedding tears than he's not worth.. my.. umm.. tears... wait..
I can't say I agree with that, actually I think that's nuts. If he's worth my tears, then his very smile would fill my heart enough to make me cry.
Listen to your own heart, that's the only place love exists, not in your head, not in your ego, not in your wallet, not in your fantasy, just in your heart. If they make you laugh and they make you cry, if you grin when you talk about them, or if you hear yourself telling other people details about them~ if you find yourself being annoyed at them for no valid reason~ they are already maybe in your heart.
Yes you can forever look for a prettier girl/boy, and you will ALWAYS find one. The second you find the "prettiest girl in the world", if you are looking at her without love, the pretty will fade as soon as your ego is satisfied, then you will go hunting again. The "Pretty" is about you, not them. They can't even see themselves for Pete's sake, they're looking OUT, not at themselves.
If you think of it regarding your friends whom you have no romantic inclination with, like your friends who are the same sex as you, there is no requirement for them to meet your physicality requirements. We don't dump friends because we found another friend who is "hotter"...lol... but that's because the connection is not about that. (Unless it is, then you might want to look up "Narcissism"...) We are not on the prowl for sexier friends, and we don't sneak around behind their backs to hang out with a new friend who has bigger breasts, bigger biceps, or a cooler bike, not since Junior High, I hope~ Nor are we always trying to find reasons to change their friendship status, whether we're going to continue this friendship or not based on whatever.
The beauty you see is a reflection of your own heart~ sometimes when we are with someone we find beautiful, we may begin to feel that ancient greyness creep in to our hearts; "it's only a matter of time until they hurt me. someone will come and take them away." Then the mind begins to weave fantasy the other way, looking for her to find other men attractive, looking for signs that she isn't sincere, then turning it around mentally until she's not worthy of you~ that way when your prediction comes true it won't hurt as much. You can separate your heart from hers by resenting her before you even have a reason to. Silent, subtle, slow twisting, to make "facts" fit feeling. Have you forgotten why you were excited to meet her in the first place? The mind can be a terrible thing... :) Remember the butterflies in your stomach, in your heart, there was a reason for them.
Love Light Peace

CHILDREN OF THE SUN - Billy Thorpe

People of the earth can you hear me
Came a voice from the sky on that magical night
And in the colors of a thousand sunsets
They traveled to the world on a silvery light...

Wasabi?!

Apparently I've been missing out on a couple of integral pieces of the big Puzzle, one of which is Wasabi. There are those in my life much wiser than I, and I am lucky to know them, otherwise my diet would consist of pasta and pbj's with a side of Swedish pancakes
For-E-Ver...

So for those poor, uninformed, uneducated souls I share this recently acquired bit of information, in case you didn't know...
WASABI   RULES!!!


"The burning sensations it can induce are short-lived compared to the effects of chili peppers, especially when water is used to remove the spicy flavor. The sensation is felt primarily in the nasal passage and can be quite painful, though it generally only lasts a few seconds." 
Yeahhh baby! That was eeeeexcellent...  ;)


The question now is: did we get the real thing, or was it a horseradish imposter? Guess I'll have to find out...

Elven Star

Mexico... Click the Star :)

Forgiveness~

If I cannot forgive myself for all the blunders
That I have made over the years,
Then how can I proceed?
How can I ever dream perfection-dreams?
Move, I must, forward.
Fly, I must, upward.
Dive, I must, inward,
To be once more
What I truly am
And shall forever remain.
- Sri Chinmoy

Tom

get your plane right on time~

A child can ask questions that a wise man cannot answer. ~Author Unknown

And all shall be well and All manner of thing shall be well
When the tongues of flame are in-folded
Into the crowned knot of fire
And the fire and the rose are one.

Namaste


Trepidation (trep′ə dā′s̸hən) noun 
tremulous or trembling movement; quaking; tremor 
fearful uncertainty, anxiety, etc.; apprehension

Origin: L trepidatio < trepidatus, pp. of trepidare, to tremble < trepidus, disturbed, alarmed < IE *trep-, to trip, tramp (< base *ter-, to tremble) > OE thrafian, to press

Coincidence (kō in′sə dəns) noun 
the fact or condition of coinciding 
an accidental and remarkable occurrence of events or ideas at the same time, suggesting but lacking a causal relationship  Origin: Fr < ML coincidentia 

Inadequate (in ad′i kwət)

adjective

not adequate; not sufficient; not equal to what is required

faith (fāt̸h) noun 
unquestioning belief that does not require proof or evidence  
unquestioning belief in God, religious tenets, etc.  
a religion or a system of religious beliefs  
anything believed  
complete trust, confidence, or reliance  
allegiance to some person or thing; loyalty

Origin: ME feith < OFr feid, fei < L fides, confidence, belief (in LL(Ec), the Christian religion) < fidere, to trust < IE base *bheidh-, to urge, be convinced > bide, Gr peithein, to persuade, L foedus, a compact

Freedom (frē′dəm) noun 
the state or quality of being free; esp.,  
exemption or liberation from the control of some other person or some arbitrary power; liberty; independence  
exemption from arbitrary restrictions on a specified civil right; civil or political liberty: freedom of speech  
exemption or immunity from a specified obligation, discomfort, etc.: freedom from want  
exemption or release from imprisonment 
a being able to act, move, use, etc. without hindrance or restraint: to have the freedom of the house  
a being able of itself to choose or determine action freely: freedom of the will  
ease of movement or performance; facility  
a being free from the usual rules, patterns, etc.  
frankness or easiness of manner; sometimes, an excessive frankness or familiarity 
a right or privilege
Origin: ME fredom < OE freodom: see free & -dom

Respect (ri spekt′) transitive verb
to feel or show honor or esteem for; hold in high regard
to consider or treat with deference or dutiful regard
to show consideration for; avoid intruding upon or interfering with
Admiration (ad′mə rā′s̸hən) noun
the act of admiring
the sense of wonder, delight, and pleased approval inspired by anything fine, skillful, beautiful, etc.
a thing or person inspiring such feelings

Breathe (brēt̸h)
to take (air) into the lungs and let it out again; inhale and exhale, esp. easily and naturally~to live

Golden, Mexico.

Little Gidding was written in 1942~

Wolf Blues

Some fine musicians I had the pleasure of being terribly impressed by Saturday night at Willy J's in Taunton, Massachusetts

Three Blacks: Bill, Ray, David, respectively, and Respectably ;)

Blues Wolf

SICK BLUES

Excellent People;



MUSTANG SALLY GO GO GO BABY!

Power of Thought - A Quantum Perspective - By Kent Healy

So if you're body is mostly water, what happens when someone thinks about you?

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We are born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us, it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” Marianne Williamson

love

Our willingness to demonstrate unconditioned, non-judgmental love for ourselves and each other is a direct mirror reflection of our love for God and our willingness to surrender all that we are to him and thus all that is. ~Jennifer Howell Gillies