Happiness depends on conditions being perceived as positive. Inner peace does not.
~ E. Tolle
Inspiration
Thanks to all of my artist friends, you have collectively been an excellent support and inspiration. Artists, musicians, photographers, poets, story tellers, bloggers, senders of inspirational quotes and verses (~R~), etc., I am glad to know you and it is a privilege to read, hear and view your work. I am pretty lucky to be acquainted with so many talented people. It's something I guess we take for granted when things are running smoothly in life, but when the clouds roll in the light from your visions makes all the difference. My smartphone (oops, see below) has lent itself to my making a habit of checking to see if you guys posted anything new whenever I need a kind word. Thanks again all of you talented peeples :) you are much appreciated.
Relegated To Stalker Status!
A friend of mine reported to me recently that my IP address showed up 27 times on her boyfriend's web page... instead of asking me why, she accused me of "stalking" him. My response was "what? What?! How!" and then unbridled giggling at the thought of my stalking her boyfriend... sorry sweetie, I couldn't help it~
We couldn't figure out why my IP address showed up, indeed it looked incriminating. Then I asked her to look at her website, and sure enough, it was there too. I said "Now you know the truth, it's both of you, not just him~!" (To you who take my jokes literally, and I know you're out there, that was a joke, I am not actually stalking anyone.) After much perplexity I think I figured out what the problem is~ it is my fault, alas. I have some terrible internet habits, old patterns put in place when there were only yellow-lettered bulletin boards and connections took forever... if you were lucky. Between working and playing with the early versions of Cyberspace, on the Compaq, the 256, the W320, remember Compuserve Forums?
Remember Eliza?!?
And of course there are the online games, people who don't play don't understand...So I use the back button A LOT, so what... and I hit refresh every 2 seconds when something doesn't load instantaneously...and instead of opening a new page on my phone I go back and forth between already viewed pages... and yes I am click-hyper, that I will own. If there is a link I have not clicked before, even if it is someone's name and I don't know them, it's a link, it might be important, (and it might lead to treasure, a new shield, or platinum, lol)... Sorry already! :) Ignore my IP address on your logs, People! If I were to stalk your boyfriend, I think I would at least try to cover my tracks, use a Proxy Server at the very least, give me some credit. I have too much going on to be paying that much attention to other people.
It actually reminds me of a story... (wanna hear it? :)) A long, long time ago... my ex-boyfriend played guitar in a band (shock, I know). I was not in this particular band. I didn't always go to his shows, he played out quite a bit and I was singing in another act. So there was this girl~ she didn't hide her crush on him very well, it cracked me up. To be insecure about it didn't occur to me; if he wanted her instead I assumed he would just be an adult and tell me, and go be with her, that's what grown-ups do, and he acted as if he had no interest in her and was only interested in me, also he said that. I believed him of course. Why wouldn't I?
One night I stopped by the club he was playing at on my way to practice, just to hear him and say hi to whoever I ran into. I didn't stay long, and he didn't see me, he was onstage. Later I said happily to him, "You sounded great!" He replied "What the hell were you doing there?" I was quite taken aback, why the hell wouldn't I be there? And since when do I need clearance to drop in on my own boyfriend's band, at a club I was familiar with and where there were many friends of mine~ I was confused and upset by his reaction for the longest time. He went into this tirade about how I was "spying" on him and stalking him... ROFL! What an Almond Joy! So dropping by your boyfriend's gig is "spying"... okay. And dropping by unexpectedly is stalking behavior... Sure... In Paranoia Land down on the Severe Ward, Honey! I have been stalked, I know what the definition is. It turned out he had been hanging out with aforementioned girl that night, one of her friends let me know a few days later. Why all the drama, as if I were his mother or something, we weren't even married! Go with the girl, please, if he was interested in someone else why would I want him? I was loyal to him and turned down some really nice guys because of it, and the whole time he was full of it, he wanted to hang onto me and rebel against me at the same time...lots of fun for me, let me tell you (get thee to a shrink Oedipus) So basically I was supposed to live my life around his random whims... Uh-huh... That's what everyone does for all their friends, don't they? Especially if you have more than platonic friendship, you should be even more of a mind-reader and a rug... otherwise you are the one who is unstable... yup, sure!
One thing that is true: people with the capacity to do shady things are the most suspicious of others. My ex-boyfriend would normally have been glad to hear that I was at his show, but he projected his guilt onto me as if I had done the thing that was wrong instead of him. Weird to me how people will flip things to deflect their own guilt or shame, and ruin perfectly good friendships and relationships.
~Of course it does make it easier to sort the Almond Joys from the Mounds... ~:)
We couldn't figure out why my IP address showed up, indeed it looked incriminating. Then I asked her to look at her website, and sure enough, it was there too. I said "Now you know the truth, it's both of you, not just him~!" (To you who take my jokes literally, and I know you're out there, that was a joke, I am not actually stalking anyone.) After much perplexity I think I figured out what the problem is~ it is my fault, alas. I have some terrible internet habits, old patterns put in place when there were only yellow-lettered bulletin boards and connections took forever... if you were lucky. Between working and playing with the early versions of Cyberspace, on the Compaq, the 256, the W320, remember Compuserve Forums?
Remember Eliza?!?
And of course there are the online games, people who don't play don't understand...So I use the back button A LOT, so what... and I hit refresh every 2 seconds when something doesn't load instantaneously...and instead of opening a new page on my phone I go back and forth between already viewed pages... and yes I am click-hyper, that I will own. If there is a link I have not clicked before, even if it is someone's name and I don't know them, it's a link, it might be important, (and it might lead to treasure, a new shield, or platinum, lol)... Sorry already! :) Ignore my IP address on your logs, People! If I were to stalk your boyfriend, I think I would at least try to cover my tracks, use a Proxy Server at the very least, give me some credit. I have too much going on to be paying that much attention to other people.
It actually reminds me of a story... (wanna hear it? :)) A long, long time ago... my ex-boyfriend played guitar in a band (shock, I know). I was not in this particular band. I didn't always go to his shows, he played out quite a bit and I was singing in another act. So there was this girl~ she didn't hide her crush on him very well, it cracked me up. To be insecure about it didn't occur to me; if he wanted her instead I assumed he would just be an adult and tell me, and go be with her, that's what grown-ups do, and he acted as if he had no interest in her and was only interested in me, also he said that. I believed him of course. Why wouldn't I?
One night I stopped by the club he was playing at on my way to practice, just to hear him and say hi to whoever I ran into. I didn't stay long, and he didn't see me, he was onstage. Later I said happily to him, "You sounded great!" He replied "What the hell were you doing there?" I was quite taken aback, why the hell wouldn't I be there? And since when do I need clearance to drop in on my own boyfriend's band, at a club I was familiar with and where there were many friends of mine~ I was confused and upset by his reaction for the longest time. He went into this tirade about how I was "spying" on him and stalking him... ROFL! What an Almond Joy! So dropping by your boyfriend's gig is "spying"... okay. And dropping by unexpectedly is stalking behavior... Sure... In Paranoia Land down on the Severe Ward, Honey! I have been stalked, I know what the definition is. It turned out he had been hanging out with aforementioned girl that night, one of her friends let me know a few days later. Why all the drama, as if I were his mother or something, we weren't even married! Go with the girl, please, if he was interested in someone else why would I want him? I was loyal to him and turned down some really nice guys because of it, and the whole time he was full of it, he wanted to hang onto me and rebel against me at the same time...lots of fun for me, let me tell you (get thee to a shrink Oedipus) So basically I was supposed to live my life around his random whims... Uh-huh... That's what everyone does for all their friends, don't they? Especially if you have more than platonic friendship, you should be even more of a mind-reader and a rug... otherwise you are the one who is unstable... yup, sure!
One thing that is true: people with the capacity to do shady things are the most suspicious of others. My ex-boyfriend would normally have been glad to hear that I was at his show, but he projected his guilt onto me as if I had done the thing that was wrong instead of him. Weird to me how people will flip things to deflect their own guilt or shame, and ruin perfectly good friendships and relationships.
~Of course it does make it easier to sort the Almond Joys from the Mounds... ~:)
Blessings
Hindsight is when you regret mistakes, but also when you fall on your knees thanking God for removing from your life the very thing you were holding onto that was holding you back from your true path.
Today
"Today I try to use the talents God gave me to benefit others. I try to remember that I no longer work for myself."
~thank you
~thank you
All the stars
"It was the time before dawn. In the sky rose a shining moon, it rose and stared at me. it hunted me as the hawk hunts its prey, rising with it into the sky . Rising with me into the heavenly spheres, it drew my soul from its human frame. In that sphere of spiritus, I was blind to all but the moon which bore me upwards.."
~Rumi
~Rumi
What About That?
What do you do if, by the time you find your soulmate/twinflame/mirror... they have been through so much crap that they don't trust the opposite sex anymore, or they seem unglued? What then?
Then you cancel the request and make a new one!
:)
Next question is: what happens if you find your soulmate/twinflame/mirror, and they have been through so much crap that they don't trust the opposite sex anymore, or they seem unglued, and you cancel the request and make a new request to find your very healthy soulmate/twinflame/mirror who is enthusiastic about the friendship between you, and respects you and your boundaries, and is supportive of you, has your back, and is even keeled and fair minded, and strong within him or her self, and has a great sense of humor and is a wonderful partner?
Then you cancel the request and make a new one!
:)
Next question is: what happens if you find your soulmate/twinflame/mirror, and they have been through so much crap that they don't trust the opposite sex anymore, or they seem unglued, and you cancel the request and make a new request to find your very healthy soulmate/twinflame/mirror who is enthusiastic about the friendship between you, and respects you and your boundaries, and is supportive of you, has your back, and is even keeled and fair minded, and strong within him or her self, and has a great sense of humor and is a wonderful partner?
Other People's Problems
Be careful of labeling what you don't understand, psychiatric diagnoses are not something to be trifled with. If a person goes to five psychiatrists he or she will get five different opinions. Psychiatry is a new field, science is just scratching the surface; anyone who thinks it's a hard science doesn't know what hard science means. Especially be careful of labeling someone else before you get a work-up done on yourself. The human brain is not a computer, yours included, even those whose IQs are way above average. Your perception of another person is completely colored by your own imperfect brain, your past experiences, your conditioning, your beliefs, even the TV shows you watched. Real psychiatric professionals (good ones) consult with others and do in-depth testing, and refer to research and studies, and consult again, when diagnosing someone, because they are aware that they are subject to their own faulty perceptions and prejudices. Your brain already has an agenda about what you want someone else to be, and if you are not aware of that fact, you will continue to see them as not living up to your personal expectations of them, and labeling them damaged or deficient. Go get yourself diagnosed, see if your own perception is causing you to see them as screwed up. You might the one who needs new glasses.
Expectations
Discover who another is; find out what another has seen, what they have learned, what their fears are and their love. Discover, don't assume and expect; don't try to make them fit in the coffin you have made for them. Every expectation of yours they don't meet you will see as failure, and every expectation they exceed you will see as pompousness. You did not create the other, you are not privy to all of the circuitry of their minds, or the soft spots in their hearts, or the map of their souls. Let go of what you think they should be and discover who they are.
Believe
Belief in a Source greater than ourselves means accepting that there is something greater than ourselves, and greater than each other.
Peace
"A musician must make music, an artist must paint, a poet must write... What one can be, one must be."
~Abraham Maslow
~Abraham Maslow
Sneakin out the back door~
What's the difference between Duality and Dichotomy, besides that they both begin with "D"? Wait, that would be a similarity, like a pair of shoes that one would wear if they fit. Not that I would notice someone wearing two different shoes.
Pow Wow
Coming back from a Native Pow Wow in Pennsylvania, what a beautiful day with my cousins Adam and Joyce, and company, and puppy dog. Lovely authentic Native regalia worn by the participants; continuous ritual demonstrations, and at the end three Screech Owls were released by a rehabilitator into the wild. More details and pics later, for now I am feeling blessed to have shared such a spiritual experience with people close to my heart.
What ~ what ~
After trying on a zillion silly bathing suits and not finding a single one that I like, or that is made for a human, I have given up. The only place I am going to find one I like is inside my storage unit. Buried. I have also come to the conclusion, after being subjected to three way mirrors for way too long, that I am no longer 15. How does this happen? I was 15 just yesterday~ not sure how to handle this whole linear time thing...
Wünderbar
Fabulous! to see more excellent people today, along with excellent junior people; sharing their company is such a blessing. The weather was pure perfection for it, too. And now that they have gone home (long drive), we get to finish off the food! W00t!
Seeking
Frustration follows those with expectations. Seek enlightenment and true love not just in ivory towers and temples where those who gather have been blessed with a life of university, supportive friends and family, healthy food and worldly success. Instead seek it where you do not expect, in the faces of those you happen to meet, those who have lived in the trenches of life, who have scars on them, who dig in the dirt, who feel your pain, who cry for others. Look for the signs, believe your spirit. Seek it in those who have walked through hellfire alone and still have love in their eyes, wonder in their hearts and laughter in their souls.
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