A friend of mine reported to me recently that my IP address showed up 27 times on her boyfriend's web page... instead of asking me why, she accused me of "stalking" him. My response was "what? What?! How!" and then unbridled giggling at the thought of my stalking her boyfriend... sorry sweetie, I couldn't help it~
We couldn't figure out why my IP address showed up, indeed it looked incriminating. Then I asked her to look at her website, and sure enough, it was there too. I said "Now you know the truth, it's both of you, not just him~!" (To you who take my jokes literally, and I know you're out there, that was a joke, I am not actually stalking anyone.) After much perplexity I think I figured out what the problem is~ it is my fault, alas. I have some terrible internet habits, old patterns put in place when there were only yellow-lettered bulletin boards and connections took forever... if you were lucky. Between working and playing with the early versions of Cyberspace, on the Compaq, the 256, the W320, remember Compuserve Forums?
And of course there are the online games, people who don't play don't understand...So I use the back button A LOT, so what... and I hit refresh every 2 seconds when something doesn't load instantaneously...and instead of opening a new page on my phone I go back and forth between already viewed pages... and yes I am click-hyper, that I will own. If there is a link I have not clicked before, even if it is someone's name and I don't know them, it's a link, it might be important, (and it might lead to treasure, a new shield, or platinum, lol)... Sorry already! :) Ignore my IP address on your logs, People! If I were to stalk your boyfriend, I think I would at least try to cover my tracks, use a Proxy Server at the very least, give me some credit. I have too much going on to be paying that much attention to other people.
It actually reminds me of a story... (wanna hear it? :)) A long, long time ago... my ex-boyfriend played guitar in a band (shock, I know). I was not in this particular band. I didn't always go to his shows, he played out quite a bit and I was singing in another act. So there was this girl~ she didn't hide her crush on him very well, it cracked me up. To be insecure about it didn't occur to me; if he wanted her instead I assumed he would just be an adult and tell me, and go be with her, that's what grown-ups do, and he acted as if he had no interest in her and was only interested in me, also he said that. I believed him of course. Why wouldn't I?
One night I stopped by the club he was playing at on my way to practice, just to hear him and say hi to whoever I ran into. I didn't stay long, and he didn't see me, he was onstage. Later I said happily to him, "You sounded great!" He replied "What the hell were you doing there?" I was quite taken aback, why the hell wouldn't I be there? And since when do I need clearance to drop in on my own boyfriend's band, at a club I was familiar with and where there were many friends of mine~ I was confused and upset by his reaction for the longest time. He went into this tirade about how I was "spying" on him and stalking him... ROFL! What an Almond Joy! So dropping by your boyfriend's gig is "spying"... okay. And dropping by unexpectedly is stalking behavior... Sure... In Paranoia Land down on the Severe Ward, Honey! I have been stalked, I know what the definition is. It turned out he had been hanging out with aforementioned girl that night, one of her friends let me know a few days later. Why all the drama, as if I were his mother or something, we weren't even married! Go with the girl, please, if he was interested in someone else why would I want him? I was loyal to him and turned down some really nice guys because of it, and the whole time he was full of it, he wanted to hang onto me and rebel against me at the same time...lots of fun for me, let me tell you (get thee to a shrink Oedipus) So basically I was supposed to live my life around his random whims... Uh-huh... That's what everyone does for all their friends, don't they? Especially if you have more than platonic friendship, you should be even more of a mind-reader and a rug... otherwise you are the one who is unstable... yup, sure!
One thing that is true: people with the capacity to do shady things are the most suspicious of others. My ex-boyfriend would normally have been glad to hear that I was at his show, but he projected his guilt onto me as if I had done the thing that was wrong instead of him. Weird to me how people will flip things to deflect their own guilt or shame, and ruin perfectly good friendships and relationships.
~Of course it does make it easier to sort the Almond Joys from the Mounds... ~:)
Hindsight is when you regret mistakes, but also when you fall on your knees thanking God for removing from your life the very thing you were holding onto that was holding you back from your true path.
"Today I try to use the talents God gave me to benefit others. I try to remember that I no longer work for myself."
let's walk for awhile
"It was the time before dawn. In the sky rose a shining moon, it rose and stared at me. it hunted me as the hawk hunts its prey, rising with it into the sky . Rising with me into the heavenly spheres, it drew my soul from its human frame. In that sphere of spiritus, I was blind to all but the moon which bore me upwards.."