Asperger's vs. Narcissism, the difference is vast, like night and day. The main difference is that Asperger's do not have agendas toward others; Narcissists live in agenda. The Narcissist is the "man in charge" or "woman in charge" and always seems to STAY in charge no matter what crap he/she pulls on others, and always presents the shiniest image he/she can, and always finds a way to get people to follow or believe him/her*. People don't hold him accountable, they don't criticize him, they don't confront him, they give him EXTRA respect, they let him run the show. People seem to ignore and excuse everything shady he does, and will often side with him against his targets, regardless of what he has done (they will minimize what he has done, and blame the person he did it to). Narcissists have mastered "cult of personality" and blame avoidance, INSTEAD of mastering how to treat others and how to be accountable.
In stark contrast, the Asperger's person seems to have a hard time keeping friends, or making new ones, and often must fight to be heard even when they are the most knowledgeable or experienced in the room. It's all about social signals~ Asperger's people may often wonder what the hell they did wrong THIS time, when really they did nothing wrong, they just didn't send the "right" social cues that say "I Am Cool" "I Am Popular" "I Am Someone To Follow", and most importantly, they don't find it a GOOD thing to send these signals, and frankly often find social sycophancy (ass kissing) repulsive and divisive (which it is). Asperger's people will often give the shirt off their back, only to get dismissed and ignored by the very people they gave it to, because they don't send the social signals of "I Am Important And It's In Your Best Interest To Treat Me As Such". They just do what they do, and say what's on their mind, (sometimes at great length). If an Asperger's person could download what they're trying to communicate instead of having to articulate it so others can understand, they would be ecstatic.
Very basically: Asperger's is focused on "building a better box"; on the box itself, on how it's made, on improving it, on what else it can be used for, on other boxes like it, and often wants others to hear about the box and their ideas, share in their enthusiasm, or at least be understanding or respectful of their enthusiasm about "the box". Narcissism is focused on getting CREDIT for "building a better box" (whether they built it or not), getting SEEN AS the "box-builder", getting credit for being the Most Expert Box Builder, how the box can be used to make themselves money or to further their PERSONAL agendas, how to hide the fact that someone else built the box.
Asperger's wants people to get along, wants peace, wants unity, wants a good and happy life not just for themselves but for everyone, all together. They would rather be "one of the gang" (or left alone) than the Leader, even if they are the smartest person in the room. They might not mind being the Leader, but only if they're not going to be wrestled and hassled about it; they've got much better things to do than fight for the "top spot".
Narcissists want all of these things only for THEMSELVES,(and sometimes for others they include in their circle), and they don't care who they have to hurt to get it, and they do everything they can to stay in control of the people around them without being noticed as a Controller.
Narcissists discard people, devalue people, project status on others; they play people like chess, and they may actually believe "that's how it's done". They don't feel remorseful for doing it, they don't feel bad for the things they do. Narcissists often receive way more respect than they have earned, because they are good at presenting Image.
Asperger's wants everyone to be friends, and just wants to be treated with normal consideration and respect, but they often receive much less respect than they have earned because they do not present Image by tailoring what they say to match the desires of others.
The Narcissist will probably catch your eye and seem "above" all the rest, and you may seek his approval and friendship. You may seek to side with him against those he targets, convinced of his innocence and good character.
The Asperger's person may catch your eye in the same way, but if you're the average human, you will probably end up being dismissive toward them, and not seek their approval, and not worry about consequences when you speak to them. You may even think of them as "inferior", and become annoyed at their talents and abilities, and expectations of normal respect.
Think of it this way: When we see the Narcissist, we think "Successful" and "Going Places", so we want to "hitch our wagon to their star". When we see the Asperger's person, we may think that at first, but we soon lose that feeling of seeing them as "Above". It's not about the real person underneath, it's about the image that the Narcissist is showing, and the Asperger's is not showing. The Narcissist believes he or she is a Star, and deserves extra respect, regardless of his or her actions; the Asperger's just wants to be appreciated for what he or she really does. You can bully an Asperger's person and they will become upset, and feel very hurt, they may go into a meltdown due to your disrespect. If you try to bully a Narcissist, they will try to destroy you or your reputation. If you even stand up to a Narcissist against their bullying, they will retaliate tenfold. Asperger's will be angry and defend themselves, but they won't do all kinds of control freak retaliations.
(Narcissists often target Asperger's people; they like to use them as "sidekicks" and exploit their loyalty and talent; however when the Asperger's person figures out what's going on, the Narcissist often turns on them with a vengeance in order to avoid being exposed. Remember the bullies in school who picked on the smart kids, the "wise-ass" who's buddy was a "nerd" and seemed to put up with the insults and the drama, the mean kid who had the nice friend, the super smart girl who the teachers didn't protect or encourage, the super smart boy who was labeled weird but always stood up for himself anyway.)
Article on the distinction between the two, here:
http://ic.steadyhealth.com/misdiagnosing_narcissism_aspergers_disorder.html
* to make text less cumbersome to read, he/she and him/her was replaced in certain parts with just "he" or "him". Neither Asperger's nor Narcissism are exclusively "male".
In stark contrast, the Asperger's person seems to have a hard time keeping friends, or making new ones, and often must fight to be heard even when they are the most knowledgeable or experienced in the room. It's all about social signals~ Asperger's people may often wonder what the hell they did wrong THIS time, when really they did nothing wrong, they just didn't send the "right" social cues that say "I Am Cool" "I Am Popular" "I Am Someone To Follow", and most importantly, they don't find it a GOOD thing to send these signals, and frankly often find social sycophancy (ass kissing) repulsive and divisive (which it is). Asperger's people will often give the shirt off their back, only to get dismissed and ignored by the very people they gave it to, because they don't send the social signals of "I Am Important And It's In Your Best Interest To Treat Me As Such". They just do what they do, and say what's on their mind, (sometimes at great length). If an Asperger's person could download what they're trying to communicate instead of having to articulate it so others can understand, they would be ecstatic.
Very basically: Asperger's is focused on "building a better box"; on the box itself, on how it's made, on improving it, on what else it can be used for, on other boxes like it, and often wants others to hear about the box and their ideas, share in their enthusiasm, or at least be understanding or respectful of their enthusiasm about "the box". Narcissism is focused on getting CREDIT for "building a better box" (whether they built it or not), getting SEEN AS the "box-builder", getting credit for being the Most Expert Box Builder, how the box can be used to make themselves money or to further their PERSONAL agendas, how to hide the fact that someone else built the box.
Asperger's wants people to get along, wants peace, wants unity, wants a good and happy life not just for themselves but for everyone, all together. They would rather be "one of the gang" (or left alone) than the Leader, even if they are the smartest person in the room. They might not mind being the Leader, but only if they're not going to be wrestled and hassled about it; they've got much better things to do than fight for the "top spot".
Narcissists want all of these things only for THEMSELVES,(and sometimes for others they include in their circle), and they don't care who they have to hurt to get it, and they do everything they can to stay in control of the people around them without being noticed as a Controller.
Narcissists discard people, devalue people, project status on others; they play people like chess, and they may actually believe "that's how it's done". They don't feel remorseful for doing it, they don't feel bad for the things they do. Narcissists often receive way more respect than they have earned, because they are good at presenting Image.
Asperger's wants everyone to be friends, and just wants to be treated with normal consideration and respect, but they often receive much less respect than they have earned because they do not present Image by tailoring what they say to match the desires of others.
The Narcissist will probably catch your eye and seem "above" all the rest, and you may seek his approval and friendship. You may seek to side with him against those he targets, convinced of his innocence and good character.
The Asperger's person may catch your eye in the same way, but if you're the average human, you will probably end up being dismissive toward them, and not seek their approval, and not worry about consequences when you speak to them. You may even think of them as "inferior", and become annoyed at their talents and abilities, and expectations of normal respect.
Think of it this way: When we see the Narcissist, we think "Successful" and "Going Places", so we want to "hitch our wagon to their star". When we see the Asperger's person, we may think that at first, but we soon lose that feeling of seeing them as "Above". It's not about the real person underneath, it's about the image that the Narcissist is showing, and the Asperger's is not showing. The Narcissist believes he or she is a Star, and deserves extra respect, regardless of his or her actions; the Asperger's just wants to be appreciated for what he or she really does. You can bully an Asperger's person and they will become upset, and feel very hurt, they may go into a meltdown due to your disrespect. If you try to bully a Narcissist, they will try to destroy you or your reputation. If you even stand up to a Narcissist against their bullying, they will retaliate tenfold. Asperger's will be angry and defend themselves, but they won't do all kinds of control freak retaliations.
(Narcissists often target Asperger's people; they like to use them as "sidekicks" and exploit their loyalty and talent; however when the Asperger's person figures out what's going on, the Narcissist often turns on them with a vengeance in order to avoid being exposed. Remember the bullies in school who picked on the smart kids, the "wise-ass" who's buddy was a "nerd" and seemed to put up with the insults and the drama, the mean kid who had the nice friend, the super smart girl who the teachers didn't protect or encourage, the super smart boy who was labeled weird but always stood up for himself anyway.)
Article on the distinction between the two, here:
http://ic.steadyhealth.com/misdiagnosing_narcissism_aspergers_disorder.html
* to make text less cumbersome to read, he/she and him/her was replaced in certain parts with just "he" or "him". Neither Asperger's nor Narcissism are exclusively "male".
