It's
common for those (both men and women) who have been conditioned to
believe that Patriarchal hierarchy is real to treat girls and women with
measurably less respect overall than they treat boys and men.
This
behavior is not dictated by the men or the boys, it's one's own
behavior due to one's own perception, bias, and conditioned beliefs.
IT FEELS "RIGHT" to them to treat boys and men with more
respect, more sympathy, more support, and more care, and it FEELS
"OKAY" to be critical, resentful, and condescending toward girls and
women.
Obviously this behavior and perception is not
consistent straight across the board, but it's the general climate of
most current human cultures; some more obvious, blatant, and shameless
about it than others. In wealthier cultures, the media now plays a large
role in conditioning people; in less wealthy cultures, political or
religious leaders tend to play the largest role.
We see this
behavior every day in any culture that's "Patriarchal", which is not ALL
cultures, but most in the current era. The more gender role beliefs
there are in a given community or culture, the more this can be seen.
~It's important to note that "Patriarchal Culture" does NOT mean that ALL boys and men are treated with favoritism or given respect or authority, nor does it mean that ALL girls and women are treated with oppression; it's the GENERAL structure of the culture; in fact in Patriarchal cultures, MANY boys and men are oppressed and bullied as well, by both controller/narcissistic men and women, and controller-women can be bigger oppressors of girls and other women, and in some cases of boys and men as well.
Both male and female Controllers will USE the dynamics of whatever "hierarchy" they happen to live in to control other people.
In Patriarchal cultures, it happens to be easier to assert oppression and control over women, because more people are "in on it", and fewer will protest, or even notice.
That means Controllers, male or female, have an advantage: most of the population is already in collusion that it's "okay" to disrespect, demean, and control individual members of half the population.
Notice that when a girl or woman is ignored, made fun of, condescended to, harassed, criticized, gossiped about, slandered, physically threatened, or ostracized from a clique, it's rare for anyone to stand up for her against the behavior. But when a boy or man is treated in any of these ways, people will expect him to stand up for himself, and they will often stand up for him.
IN FACT, people will often CRITICIZE a girl or woman for standing up for herself against any of these behaviors, BUT will CRITICIZE a boy or man for NOT standing up for himself against the same exact behaviors.
This alone shows how deep the conditioning goes in most current cultures.
~
A disparity of respectful or disrespectful judgments and assumptions of
others is usually at the top of the list of behaviors and perceptions.
For example, in public, if a person is seen with paint all over their
clothes, say at the local Home Depot, it is their SEX, first and
foremost, that changes others' assumptions about WHY the person is
covered in paint. After their sex, they're judged on their size, demeanor, race,
and age. (Not on actual information about them.)
If the person covered in paint is a man of any age or
race, people will assume he's doing a JOB, and that it's a relatively
important job, and that he probably knows what he's doing, he's probably
a "pro". ~They will assume "pro" or at least "knowledgeable" about a
man even if prejudice is present.
They might be right, but
they may also be wrong; they have no way to know either way unless they
know the man pretty well, and have actually watched him work for a
length of time.
But if the person with paint on their clothes
is a woman of any race, most people will likely assume much differently
(based on zero information other than her appearance), such as that she
must be HELPING a man paint, that it's not her actual "job", that she's
been guided by someone else, that she has paint on her clothes because
she doesn't really know what she's doing, or that she's TRYING to paint
something "on her own". Some might even simply see her as a SLOB because
she didn't change before going to the store (even to a paint supply
store), or as a "poor person" who doesn't have any other clothes, which
they are very UNLIKELY to assume about a man covered in paint.
In fact, many men learn young that if they LOOK LIKE they've been
working, due to their appearance (suit and tie OR "work clothes"), that
people will treat them with more respect, and so males who have
Narcissism or immaturity issues will often purposely dress to appear as
if they're in the middle of work, or not change or groom themselves
(clean the paint, dirt, or grease off from work) when they go in public,
like to an appointment, to lunch, to the bank, etc.
However,
people tend only to treat women with "work-respect" if they're
"well-groomed", dressed in business-type clothing or obvious uniforms. A
female landscaper who goes to the bank during her day with grass, dirt,
and sweat stains, and imperfect hair, will just get treated like she's a
slob or a crazy person, while her male coworker will get treated with
"respect" no matter how he looks.
~Again, still conditioning from
childhood: Daddies, Uncles, Grandfathers and other men can have any kind
of job and be "important" or at least "respected", but women can only
have certain kinds of jobs, so if they're "dirty" or "messy" they must
be slovenly, not in the middle of work.
(Conditioned people will do this judgment disparity even if they SEE the woman doing that work.)
Again, it's not the men or boys who are creating this disparity, it's within the minds of those who are doing the judging.
For another example, if a man is working, more people tend to "leave
him be so he can concentrate on what he's doing because it's important".
But if a woman is working on something, more people tend to try to get
her attention IN SPITE of what she's doing, and sometimes they do it
BECAUSE she's working on something.
Men are to be "left alone when
they're working", as if there's an invisible barrier around them that we
are not supposed to cross when they're doing something. But when a
woman is working on something, it seems to be an INVITATION to approach
her.
This particular behavior is often a direct reflection of a
person's childhood home, where "Daddy is working, leave him be", but
everyone (often including Dad, unfortunately) interrupts Mom no matter
what she's doing, and expects her full attention.
Usually brother
and sister are each treated with the same disparity, brother is left
alone while he's working, playing, or learning, and sister is frequently
and randomly interrupted regardless of what she's doing.
Another common behavior that's related to the last is when a man is
doing something, women especially tend to assume that he "knows what
he's doing", and is "doing something purposeful", but when a woman is
doing something, both women and men seem to feel no qualms about
approaching her and trying to CORRECT her, criticize her, insult her,
"manage" her, re-direct her, argue with her, or even take over.
In
fact, it appears that people are often COMPELLED to approach a woman in
order to judge, criticize, "assist", or stop her when they see her doing
something or talking about something (anything), as opposed to the way
they tend to respect the space and intention of a man when they see him
doing something. A man might be offered help in a respectful way, but
people tend to treat women like they NEED help, like they don't really
know what they're doing or what they're talking about, and as if it's
perfectly "okay" to criticize them, ADVISE them, or even physically
approach them and "assist them", or take over, without asking
permission.
It's a habit of LACK of respect for the PERSON,
combined with a feeling of power and false confidence one apparently
gets from assuming superiority over another person.
~Of
course some men are treated with this sort of disrespect as well on a
regular basis, and some women are treated with less of it, and that's
usually based on the person's height and/or demeanor.
Those who
seem intimidating to a person (male or female) get treated with more
"respect", and those who seem non-intimidating get treated with much
less. This disparity demonstrates the lack of inner ethics and values in
others; they're treating others according to whether the other person
seems intimidating or not, not according to inner principles.
*
(There are not enough cultures in human groups that have genuine
"Matriarchal" hierarchies to make clear comparisons with Patriarchal
cultures. Usually "Matriarchal" cultures aren't really fully
Matriarchal, with the same power disparity that is commonly seen in
Patriarchal cultures; there is usually more shared "power" and respect
between the sexes, but there are still often gender roles and allowance
of male dominance, at least in Homo Sapiens. likely due to fear of other
groups of humans.
In Homo Sapiens, "warriors" are typically
treated with admiration or high honors* (see next footnote) because
people fear being invaded by other Homo Sapien groups. Humans are an
aggressive, bullying, gain-driven species overall, more like Chimpanzees
than other primates, and so people naturally fear other groups of
humans because they're aware of this at least on a subconscious level;
therefore they tend to hold "warrior males" in high esteem, because the
more "warrior males" one's group has, the more secure and safe one feels
from being invaded by other groups.)
* (In many cultures,
"warriors" who are held in higher esteem by some are regarded with
contempt or disrespect by others, likely due to feelings of envy.
Resentment of "warrior types" being treated with higher esteem in
general is not the same thing as envy toward individual people. One can
resent the disparity in the culture without resenting a PERSON who is
being put on a pedestal by others.
I can guarantee that most of the
people I know would treat a large male professional boxer (or even an
amateur male rock musician) much better than they treat me, right off
the cuff, without knowing anything about him, but that's not the boxer's
fault. HE didn't tweak their inner ethics compass in order for them to
adulate him and 'diss' me, THEY are doing that all on their own, with a
lot of help from their cultural conditioning.
However the more
Narcissism there is in a culture, the more contempt can be seen between
different subgroups and "factions", because the people will create
cliques out of their differences between one another, and try to control
other groups. Envy, self-righteousness, and power struggles are rife in
cultures that are loaded with Narcissism, and so "warriors" will either
be raised on very high pedestals by some, and disrespected and attacked
by others, because everything is seen through dramatic emotional
reaction and not through calm, objective observation.
~~~ALSO, in
Narcissistic cultures, people are USED and then discarded when they are
no longer "useful", which happens to BOTH males and females in the
culture. Whatever they were being USED for, when they don't or can't
fulfill that use anymore, they are discarded by those who are part of
the Narcissism culture.)
