Good Leadership

Being an arrogant leader is easy. Being a genuine leader is hard.
The first lives inside of ego, and the second inside humility.
The first always believes he or she is correct, righteous, and stronger than all others, simply blaming others for discomfort, for anything that doesn't "line up" correctly, or when there are complaints.
The second is aware that all humans are filled with flaws including themselves, and that he or she does not have all the answers, is not always the best or the brightest in the room, and has not always judged others or the situation correctly.
While the first rarely if ever feels compelled to self-reflect, make adjustments, seek counsel, or re-visit his or her judgments about others, the second knows that there is always reason to self-reflect and do all of these other things.
The first will find that it makes life easier to follow along with hierarchy and the egos of others. The second will find that his/ her humility, truth seeking, and solution seeking will challenge and insult the hierarchy and inflated egos of those around her/him.
Maintaining a sense of self-confidence is easy with arrogance as a companion. Maintaining it with humility as a companion is not so simple.
Being an arrogant leader is easy for the leader, but he or she does little good for those following. Being a good leader is hard, and takes a long time to learn, some say a lifetime.

Form Of Projection: Elaborate Denial Of Another's Trauma or Tragedy

"Projection" comes in different forms, and is done for different reasons by those with p.d.'s or mental illness.
It's most often, however, done in order to cast negativity onto another person in order to cast it off of one's self. Albeit in the realm of fantasy, still, it often works to quite an extent.

One such form of projection that is not spoken of very often is when an N. sufferer will talk about something terrible that happened to someone ELSE... how awful it is, how cruel, how traumatic, how serious, etc., the "projection" part is because the  thing that they're talking about is the very thing that they either DID THEMSELVES, or that they REFUSED to acknowledge or help with when it happened to a person in their family, friend, or work circle.
To add salt to the punch, they will especially do this WHILE TALKING TO the person who it was done TO, who it happened TO.
If the event was honestly unknown to the Narcissist, that would be a different story, however if the person is a family member or a "close friend", chances are the Narcissist is fully aware.

This is a different form of the kind of projection where the disordered person accuses a target of doing the things the N. actually did. (Cheating on a partner is a common one; the cheater will accuse their partner of cheating, but N's will accuse their partners, friends, or family members of pretty much anything they've done, said, or felt.)

So for example, the Narcissist will talk about how awful it was that someone on Television was attacked and raped, "and by someone they KNEW, no less, and how AWFUL it must have been, and can you even IMAGINE what that must have been like?!? The poor woman!"
But they will be saying all this TO THEIR FRIEND WHO IS TRYING TO RECOVER FROM PTSD FROM BEING ATTACKED AND RAPED.

This kind of projection may be one of this individual Narcissist's defense mechanisms, OR another way to hurt and dominate another, depending on the individual N.'s mental profile. (It's not necessarily one or the other, it really might be a defense mechanism, but the damage it can cause is real either way.)

It can be an attempt to DELETE INFORMATION.

It can be an attempt to EDIT REALITY, and re-write the story, making the N. into one of the people who are appalled, concerned, empathetic and caring, which makes them NOT one of the people who "don't care".

It's basically the same behavior N's display when they treat a person like a NOVICE, a BEGINNER, or CLUELESS, when they want to pretend that the person is NOT knowledgeable or skilled about something. (This can be seen quite often in Western culture fields of work and study.)

Again, for example, the Narcissist may have heard that a relative is emotionally/mentally abusive to their child. Amazingly, the Narcissist will convey the tragic news in detail, TO their own child that they treated in exactly the same way.

Now, if the person was NOT a Narcissist, and they actually just FORGOT about the other person's traumatic events due to perhaps stress, age, or just a memory lapse, then when the person said something like "Yes I'm all too familiar with that", the Non-Narcissist would almost certainly feel something like chagrin, embarrassment, guilt, and sympathy, and then make verbal apologies, and invite the person to talk about it.

When the person IS a Narcissist, if the other person said something like "Yes I'm all too familiar with that", then the N. would immediately become defensive, invalidate them, GO SILENT, go into a "mood" or a "rage", or accuse them of LYING, depending on the severity of the N's illness.

No Girls Allowed, No Boys Either

"I'm afraid to say that the tendency to bond with one's own sex to the exclusion of the other is a childhood stage. It includes seeing one sex as worthy, strong and capable, and the other as weak, overly emotional, and less capable. It tends to show itself in day-to-day behaviors, where one sex is ignored, criticized, and micro-managed, insulted, and "punished" with dismissiveness, slander, betrayal, and various kinds of sabotage. The other is held in high esteem, high sympathy, and given access to resources and to leadership positions.

This developmental stage can be seen working itself out in elementary school-age children, more or less depending on the surrounding culture:
Cultures with science, math, language, the arts, and social instruction (simultaneously) as main focus tend to be successful in guiding children to grow past this developmental stage, but cultures without focus and cultures that are fixated on material gain and warmongering actually discourage children from maturing past this stage, keeping them in an unhealthy suspended state of childhood that they carry into adulthood.
If an individual grows beyond this stage due to outside influences, or of their own volition, they are usually singled out and excluded.

Equal Sexes, Equal Races?

There has long been, in certain tribal cultures, debate over whether men and women were equal with one another. The same debate has gone on for eons about whether certain races were equal to one another.

So, this is 2013, nearly 2014 A.D. and these debates still have not been resolved. In fact the more science discovers, the more it appears that trying to categorize groups of humans as inferior or superior to one another is a moot point; there are too many variations, and too many similarities, at the same time.

Aside from scientific evidence, however, there is the question of logic and common sense.

If one is actually inferior to another, then challenging this would not be met with defense, anger, or attempts at punishment or oppression.
IF a natural inferior were to challenge a natural superior, they would be met with no hostility or offense of dignity, but with a knowing nod, a calm smile, and a kind hand. Perhaps a quiet chuckle.
But defensiveness, indignity, anger, rage, annoyance, the desire to punish or to dominate,,,
it simply would not be the reaction.

When a puppy tries to dominate a grown dog, the dog just sits there, letting the puppy jump all over him body, climb his back, nip on his ears, grab his feet and pull his tail. The dog does nothing to the puppy, indeed, he barely moves. Perhaps he'll play with the puppy with a quick jab of his nose, but that's all.

Because there is no threat.

The dog knows that the puppy is inferior, and he is superior. He is there to care for the puppy, protect the puppy, and allow the puppy to learn about the world, and about the puppy's own self, testing limits, testing strength, finding out anything and everything.
That's how superiors treat inferiors, because they are not threatened, they know what the puppy is going to do or not do, because the puppy is inferior.
When the puppy becomes an adult, an equal, then there is more tension, and also more direct companionship. Because now they are equals. Now, if the dog growls or nips, the other dog may react and feel threatened, because they are equals. And when one dog leads, the other follows along, and they switch leading and following all day long. One of them may lead more, but it's not a competition or a hierarchy, it's just their individual personalities; one thinks of things to do and the other is happy to find out what! And then when the other thinks of something, the first dog is equally happy to find out what!
No silliness, no supremacy, no control, no punishment, manipulation, entitlement or pain.

Because dogs have a natural understanding of what superiority really is, and what it entails, and when it's not present.