Why Does It Hurt So Much If They Were Such A Jerk?

One of the "bad feelings" that come from separating from a person who has been abusive is the LOSS of an important relationship in our life.
Also, the loss of the people and the community that is connected to them, that we shared with them.
AND, if they have a Personality disorder like Narcissism, we know that the likelihood of them spreading false rumors about us is high to people they're connected to.
The likelihood of people who are connected to them also having personality disorders is also high~ (addicts connect with addicts when they're using; it's the same thing with pers. disorders)~
so they will often be very happy to join in "rejecting" us and spreading false rumors about us. The more people the person is connected to, the bigger the spread of the smear campaign may be. (Only people with Narcissism make "smear campaigns", but they almost always do it when they have some kind of "rift" or "falling out" with a person.)

ALSO, we know, if the person we're separated from does have Narcissism, they will probably IMMEDIATELY seek a "replacement" for us, whether we were their romantic partner, spouse, friend, or family member; even child or parent.
Once they find a "replacement", we know that the chance for reconciliation will be gone.
Narcissists REPLACE PEOPLE the way non-narcissists replace cars, or computers, or toasters. Once a "new one" is moved in, the "old one" is completely discarded and rejected, like the "old one" was some kind of "mistake", or "starter", or "cheap version". We know this, and it's painful to be rejected and discarded like a devalued object.

So that's a real "loss", even if the relationship was obviously destructive for us or them, and even when we really do wish them well and want them to be happy.

But REMEMBER, ONLY NARCISSISTS "discard" people that way, as if they're some kind of worn out object, or a child's toy that's been grown out of, or some kind of "pariah".
OTHER people who DON'T HAVE NARCISSISM DO NOT DO THIS, and they DO exist!

"The Enemy" To A Narcissist

"The Enemy" to a Narcissist is anyone who:
~threatens their ego,
~threatens their image because they are just as capable, talented, or attractive (or moreso),
~who stands up to their manipulation or bullying,
~who doesn't participate in their illusions of hierarchy,
~who doesn't pretend to go along with their fabrications or excuses
~who refuses to participate in targeting another person for bullying, slander, ostracism, or manipulation
~who disagrees with them
~who doesn't allow them to "call the shots"
~who doesn't put up with their rudeness
~who doesn't glorify them and give them EXTRA praise, attention, privilege, entitlement, leeway, or credit
~who doesn't help COVER UP crimes or other betrayals or manipulations against other people
~who doesn't completely agree with them or go along with their rationalizations for destructive, criminal, arrogant, cruel, or inconsiderate behavior
~who has helped them
~who has helped someone in their personal life
~whom they envy for any reason
~who they feel "obligated" to
~who they have betrayed, abused, or hurt in any way
~who has more authority or "power" than they do
~who doesn't stroke their ego
~who has ever insulted them
~who is a member of another "group" or belief system

The "enemy" of a Narcissist is NOT necessarily a person who has done actual harm to them, or especially who has done harm to others in their personal life.
UNLESS being that person's "enemy" gives them some kind of gain.

Elitism And Narcissism

e·lit·ism or é·lit·ism  (ĭ-lē′tĭz′əm, ā-lē′-)
WHO can be an "Elitist"?

Do they have to be a certain race?  Nope.

Do they have to have a certain amount of financial wealth?  Nope.

Do they have to have a certain "IQ"?  Nope.

Are all Elitists male? Or are they all female?  Still -Nope.

Do Elitists all have a certain level of Academic education?  Nooope.

Are they all very good-looking? Definitely a "negatory", sisters and brothers.

Are they all "supremely" skilled, talented, capable, intelligent, gifted? That's another "Nope". 

There is only one thing that all Elitists have in common.
A DESIRE for "supremacy" to exist.

A person can be an ELITIST no matter what:
~their life is like, 
what their past is like, 
what their habits are, 
what their financial status is, 
what their intelligence level is,
what their sex is,
what their real behavior is,
how they treat others,
who their friends and family are,
what neighborhood they live in,
what ancestry they have,
what they look like,
what their job or career is,
or how humble, generous, or compassionate they claim to be.

The only thing one needs to become an "elitist" is a BELIEF that certain people are intrinsically superior to other "kinds" of people, and that this "superior kind" of person deserves to be in charge of things and have power.

Pretty convenient if the "KIND" of person they think deserves to be in charge is the SAME "KIND" of person THEY ARE, isn't it?

Some elitists like it when a different "kind" of person than themselves has the "power", as long as they can be ASSOCIATED WITH that "kind" of person. Much like wanting your best friend to be elected Class President instead of yourself, because you know you'll get "perks" and "extras" because of your association with them, without having to deal with the consequences of actually being Class President.

Many of them will deny having these issues while at the same time giving "reasons" why one "kind" of person "deserves" to be in charge, due to their "superior" whatever.

Elitism is a common Human issue because humans are primates, closely related to Chimpanzees, and Chimpanzees live in social groups that have "hierarchies". 
Just like Chimpanzees, one of the reasons (ONE OF the reasons) that humans perpetuate these created "hierarchies" is because OTHER GROUPS of humans create them too, and try to dominate and take over territory and possessions from other groups. 
If humans didn't try to dominate other humans (individuals or groups), there would be far fewer excuses to create and perpetuate these "hierarchies", and therefore there would be much less ELITISM, and fewer ways to RATIONALIZE (make excuses for) elitism. 

MOST (but not all) Narcissists are "Elitists".
Most (but not all) "Elitists" have some level of Narcissism.

Sexism and Racism are forms of elitism; the belief or projection that all the members of one group are "superior" and therefore deserve to be treated with more respect and care, and/or that all the members of another group are "inferior", and therefore deserve to be treated with less respect or care.