He's Such A Great Guy! She's The Sweetest Lady! Narcissists Are Great At Image Making

People with Narcissism issues tend to pay much more attention to those outside of their personal family than inside. They may be known as "good listeners" or "lovely people" or "sweet and generous" or "heroes" or "very responsible" outside of their marriage or their household, but don't have patience, time, or resources to listen to, validate, or help the people closest to them. They may even appear to "fight for what's right" out in the world, but treat their family members, partner, or children like burdens, like servants, like warts on their skin, like they're the "lowest" people they know. A Narcissist who would cross the country to help put out forest fires or rescue someone they barely know would be hard-pressed to cross the street to genuinely help or show care toward someone "close" to them. "Helping others" or "Being a good person" is all about being SEEN and GETTING CREDIT and GETTING RECOGNITION for a person with Narcissism, not about actually helping or caring.

Narcissists actually COMPETE WITH their own family members, spouse, children, and close friends for recognition, resources, credit, "love", and image, which is the exact opposite of "healthy".
So they are always trying to make themselves "LOOK GOOD" to those outside of their family or close friends, and "LOOK BETTER" than the people "close" to them.
A Narcissistic mother who has a physically attractive daughter, or a talented or intelligent daughter, will feel THREATENED, not proud, as if they were two children in a fourth grade class instead of mother and daughter. And so an N. mother will do things that an envious child might do to another child who she was envious of, like spread rumors and gossip, triangulate, "steal" the daughters friends, present herself as the "GOOD ONE" of the two to others any way she can, compete with her for male attention, etc.
Of course a Narcissistic "best friend" would also do these things for the same (or similar) reasons, but it's not as traumatic when the N. is a platonic peer compared to a parent or spouse, although the trauma can still be quite devastating and cause real damage.

Whatever the relationship is "supposed to be", the Narcissist doesn't change; they see other people as either a way to GAIN for themselves, OR as a THREAT to themselves.
People who are close to them especially are seen as either someone to CONTROL, or someone who is TRYING TO control them. Narcissists do not come out of "competition mode".
Everything is a competition. Everything is "who's in charge", or "proving who's better", "proving who's smarter", "proving who's a better person", "proving who DESERVES recognition, privilege, or resources", or a DISPLAY of "how great" they are.
That's what THEY"RE doing, so they think that's what EVERYONE ELSE is doing too.

(If they think you're attractive, you must be MAKING YOURSELF ATTRACTIVE ON PURPOSE... because you think you're "so great" or because you're trying to MANIPULATE other people by apparently creating your own face and body.........
unless they're still in the "valuation phase", then your physical attractiveness means that you're "Above others"....... but that will only last until they find someone else who they think is more attractive, or until you stand up for yourself or for someone else, or have some kind of "need" ... or "opinion" ...)

On Academic Arrogance

On Academic Arrogance
(Elmer John Thiessen)

The know-it-all attitude of the undergraduate student at a university; the willingness to expound at great lengths on any and every subject on the part of the graduate student; the confident airs put on by the college or university professor – all of these are examples of academic arrogance. Academic arrogance is unfortunately all too common, and is enhanced, no doubt, by the attitude that persists in our society that the university-educated person or the educated professional are somehow superior to those who have received only a high-school education.
Arrogance is of course everybody’s problem... (Click for the full article)

ElmerJohnThiessen's article on Academic Arrogance is really about Human arrogance in general, which all arrogance of course really is; we humans can take ANYTHING and use it as a "status symbol".
It's just a one of those Hairless-Chimpanzee things, (sorry, but it's true.. ooohhhooohhhooohh).
ElmerJohnThiessen's point of view is from a Christian perspective, however arrogance is the same whether one is Christian or otherwise. Very well said, in my opinion, which may be humble, or not.