Control IS Their Motive

Keeping control over situations, things, and people in their lives is the main motivation for most people with "Control issues".

Control is the way they manage their lives.

Many who are somewhat aware of their control tendencies seem to believe that their behaviors only affect their own lives, and have no effect on others. But that limited perception is part of their issue, both a cause and an effect.

Their behaviors can vary from seemingly "normal" and healthy to very very kind, and then all the way to very nasty, and everything in between.

The basic, usual reasons for the variations in their level of kindness or nastiness has to do with their current level of how much they feel in control, and what they think it would take to regain control.

Kind of like piloting a boat or a plane.
Adjusting the sails, adjusting the rutter, adjusting the flaps, slowing down or accelerating, steering into the wind.

If they feel like they need to regain control or make an adjustment, they will do something in order to regain it.

That might be something very kind in order to elicit a specific response, or it might be something hidden and manipulative, or it might be something mean, cold, or humiliating in order to "cut a person down" or try to make them feel less confident or autonomous.

Some controllers are purposely vicious, and are fully aware of the harm they cause to others. It's not that they don't care, it's that they like to cause harm.

Others are not all that aware of the effect their behaviors have on others. Even if they have some awareness that some of the things they do are unkind or harmful, they are prone to believe that they don't cause much harm, or ANY harm.
This is a result of a person feeling powerless and ineffective; they see themselves as having little or no effect on other people's lives, which may be one of the main causes of their control issues and behavior. They may be trying to MAKE others "need" them, or see them as important or capable, because they have a core belief that they are actually unwanted and uncared for.

There is a distinct difference between those who have control issues who are coming from a point of view of Entitled Superiority, Elitism, and Authority Entitlement, and those who are coming from a point of view of feeling powerless, and trying to make sure they don't get left out or left behind.

Both of them cause problems for others, and both of them try to wield control over others, however one is much more dangerous than the other, and consciously aware of the harm they are causing.

(The first is consciously choosing their actions, the second is more often reactive, whether aware or not.)

Analogy:
One is like a cruel child who goes around looking for frogs, birds' nests and bees' nests to destroy, and the other is like a reactive child who kicks at dogs and cats who come near them, kills bees who fly near them, and whacks at mice and snakes in their yard or on their path with a shovel out of fear or anxiety.
The first goes looking for ways to destroy and control, the second does it reactively, usually in their own vicinity.

The second is more likely to see themselves as innocent of wrong doing, and can become very defensive if anything they do is even mentioned. (Again, defensive, which is reactive).

The first is more likely to try to destroy a person who mentions anything they do, not as an emotional reaction so much, but as a strategic, conscious "strike", getting rid of the threat. That's why the first is more dangerous.
Their control issues and behaviors are tied to a belief in their own Entitlement Of Power.

Not Fitting In

Whatever the general Bias is in your area, if you're not "one of them", whoever "them" happens to be, then they're probably not going to be supportive or fair toward you.

And in order to avoid rejection, sabotage, or various forms of attack, (depending on the severity of the dysfunction in the area), then you would need to behave in a submissive, abasing, super-sweet, compliant way, never standing up for yourself or others, never saying anything about anything they do no matter how corrupt, self-serving, incompetent, or cruel. You would have to "kiss a***s" all day in order to remain "accepted".

That is, if you're not "one of them". If you are "one of them", then you would have to do something pretty terrible in order to get rejected.

Picture it like "Royal Blood" and peasants.
If the bias in the region is FOR those of Arab descent and against those of Nigerian descent, then the Arabic descent people will live above reproach, controlling everything, living above laws, rules, and regulations, and the Nigerian descent people will be under a microscope about anything and everything.
If the bias is FOR Italian descent and against Irish descent, then the Italian descent people will create cliques and control everything, and "support their own", regardless of actual rules or laws, and the Irish descent people will be under a microscope about anything and everything they do or say. .
Or, vice versa.

If the bias in the region is FOR males and against females, then everyone (including most of the females) will enable and support males to control everything and run everything, and live above rules, laws, regulations, values, and social graces, but females will be under a microscope, being blocked and judged for everything they do or say. And of course the males in the region are also subject to whatever ancestral bias there is, and other social biases.

If it's a "jock town", then sports people will be treated with normal respect by one another, and they are very likely to treat those who are interested in other things with much less respect.

Etc, etc.

Humans have a huge tendency toward bias and bigotry, much bigger than most (including most scientists) are willing to admit.

A region or smaller group that does not purposely teach and practice strong values about fairness, respecting others, and civility is very likely to fall back into the lower human habits of bias, prejudice, bias-hierarchies and domination-seeking.