She Deserves To Get Picked On?

Narcissists tend to see those who are treated as less important or less valuable as "deserving it" because they are somehow intrinsically less valuable human beings.

This perception fuels their belief in their own superiority.
In order to have superior people (like themselves), there has to be inferior people in order to make "superiority" valid ~
(like that woman over there, or that boy in the other room, or that girl at the store, or that man outside. Or those people from that other country or town, or political party, or religion. Or anyone of that other sex. Or anyone who's shorter, or thinner, or heavier, or older, or younger. Or like their sister, or their cousin, or their neighbor, or their uncle, or their nephew, or their niece, or their coworker, or that customer.).

Which is why they tend to become enraged or devastated when they themselves are treated with any sort of lack of attention, adulation, or acceptance. They are suddenly being treated as one of those "less valuable people", instead of one of the "valuable people".
It contradicts their self-image and identity.

Narcissists NEED to feel superior to someone else in order to feel worthy. Many believe that everyone else also needs to feel superior in order to feel worthy, and so they think everyone is competing for superiority, and that anyone who doesn't achieve "superiority" (in their imagined world) are envious or jealous of those who have.

(What defines "superior" depends on the individual person's beliefs and perceptions;
one N. might think that a certain level of wealth indicates "superiority" over others,
while another might see being "tall and good looking" as "superiority",
another might see being "small" and good-looking as "superiority",
another might see having dark hair as "superiority",
another might see being "athletic" as "superiority",
another may see being considered "NOT attractive" as "superiority", another might see having large shoulders as "superiority",
another might see being a certain sex as "superiority",
for another it might be what kind of car a person owns,
or how many,
or their house or neighborhood,
a club they belong to,
the job they have or that they belong to a union,
the political party they belong to,
a sport they participate in (or just watch),
having children,
not having children,
being married,
not being married,
their spouse's job, title, or looks,
the high school or college they went to,
or their level of education,
or what FIELD they're educated in,
or that they DON'T have a college or a graduate degree,  
or what religion they belong to,
or that they don't belong to a religion,
or having a certain skill or knowledge,
having a certain ancestry,
or just being themselves and therefore better than anyone,

ANYTHING WHATSOEVER can cause a Narcissist to feel that they are superior to others because they possess this specific object or trait.


They may or may not be aware of this need, and will almost certainly adamantly deny that it's true. However their behavior reveals their underlying perceptions and motives:

When someone near them or with them is treated with disrespect, rudeness, unfairness, disdain, backstabbing, or bullying, what do they do? (Especially if they themselves are being treated with courtesy or respect by the same people or person who are disrespecting the other person?)

Do they allow it, go along with it, act like nothing is happening, pretend not to notice, or even worse, join in?

Or do they acknowledge that the other person is being treated poorly?
~And then perhaps either show solidarity with the person, even in a subtle way, refuse to engage with the disrespectful person, or leave, or say something out loud; do they do any of those things?
(Or are they apparently getting an ego buzz out of being treated better than someone else?)

Actions AND words reveal the underlying motives and feelings of a person with Narcissism.