Feeling Trapped

Feeling trapped in one's situation, in one's "station" in life, in one's JOB, in one's TOWN, in one's "lot in life",  are symptoms of Narcissistic abuse and oppression.

  • I'll never be anything more than _________.
  • I am trapped in this job, I can't quit, I won't be able to make it.
  • I will always be broke and struggling.
  • I could never be one of those happy people.
  • I am afraid to leave this relationship, home, or town, and be alone.
  • I am afraid to make changes in my life, things will just be worse.
  • Things will not get better for me, I just keep getting older.
  • There's nothing I can do. 
  • I am too overwhelmed to help anyone else.
  • No one truly cares about me, and I doubt anyone ever will.
  • If only I could win the Lottery, I will have a good life. If I could have enough money, I would make everything better.
These are all signs that we have been influenced by someone with Narcissism traits or the actual disorder, or are currently being influenced, or both. Typically there is more than one involved, which  helps to mask the behavior and treatment, and make it seem "normal".

Believe it or not, we can make the changes to make our lives better. We don't have to win the Lottery to do that, and that might be hard to hear, but it's real. Think about it~ if the only way you could be happy is if you won a huge amount of money, that means you feel an urgent need to escape. Escape what, exactly, and why is it so difficult to make things better where you're already standing? There's a real reason for that. The first step is simply looking at where we are standing, and what is really going on around us. It's not hard to spot Narcissism once we read some descriptions of it, and once we know what's going on, we won't be bamboozled by it anymore. Awareness is, literally, power.

Some good websites on Narcissism and healing:







Narcissism Looks Like This

The single biggest difference between a Narcissist and a Non-Narcissist is how worried they are about BEING a Narcissist. A person who is afflicted will dismiss the concept altogether, as if it's Poppycock... or, dismiss the idea that they could have it... or, completely deny having it... or, dismiss, vilify, oppose and devalue anyone who talks about the disorder or supports abuse victims. (A Narcissist also may devalue abuse victims/targets in general. This contributes to their denial issues, since most Narcissists were actually victims of some form of abuse at some point.)

If a Narcissist sees a list of traits, they will pick through them and find the ones that don't apply, and use those as evidence that they are NOT "Narcissists".
A NON-Narcissist will read the same list, and recognizing a couple in themselves, will immediately feel a twinge of worry that they have the disorder, and worry about what kind of problems they have been causing or how they have hurt others.
A list of Narcissism traits, if he or she reads it at all, will invoke emotions like annoyance, defensiveness, or anger for a person with Narcissism.

Narcissists rarely go to therapy for any reason at all; they won't go to help themselves, and they will rarely go for or about someone else. They don't care about the afflictions of others, they don't try to learn about them, they don't try to understand them, they don't have any interest in helping them heal. The only reason a Narcissist will go to therapy is to get a counselor to agree with them about what's wrong with another person, and to try to get the counselor to agree that they are a victim of this person, and that this person is truly the "problem" in everyone's lives. They can't conceive that there is more than one person involved who is contributing to the issues and problems, the "blame" has to lie squarely on one person's shoulders, and NOT on their own, at all. They have to remain blame-free at all costs in their own minds.
 Another excellent website, with traits and tests : How To Recognize A Narcissist