Humans Aren't That Nice

The reason there are "affirmations" and quotes that are passed around like pieces of treasure ~ about being a "good person" , being a true friend, being good to others, basically just doing what people SHOULD be doing on a regular, daily basis, is because these things are NOT natural and normal to a lot of people, maybe the majority of people. They don't know how to treat others with respect, integrity, or fairness, and many don't even know what's so important about it.
Their "norm" is favoritism, personal gain at the expense of others, gossip, resentment, envy, and trying to act dominant over others, and they get feedback that it's "normal" from people around them. It's not the "norm" for humans to live as ethical, fair-minded, empathetic, cooperative and caring people. The common denominator is automatic self-centeredness and self-preservation, not the other way around.

For most humans, manners, ethics, fairness, integrity, and kind behavior need to be TAUGHT and modeled by those around them. Humans mimic who and what are around them, it's just a fact.
Many of us grew up expecting others to be a lot more mature than they are able, and this expectation has caused us significant pain and problems in our lives.
We don't have to judge or hate in order to accept that the world of humans is not nearly as "good" as we had expected, and accepting the truth may help us come to terms with a lot of the things that we've had to deal with.
Humans as a species are more like wild cats than bunny rabbits, CAPABLE of kind and ethical behavior, but often more interested in their own gain. It's just the way the species is, Homo Sapien Sapien.

There are obviously humans who are more capable of kindness, integrity, and understanding the importance of it, and they are the ones who keep that alive, just by existing and doing what they do. They are more often targets of abuse than others, because they don't fit in, and because they have something that others want, or that others envy. But when they keep fast to what they know is right, because they know WHY it's right, they are beacons to the world, and guiding lights to others like them who find themselves in the dark.
Namaste to all of you.

Can Abuse Targets Have Narcissism Traits

Narcissistic abuse can actually cause narcissistic traits and behaviors in targets due to the need to protect one's self from boundary and ego violations, as well as physical assault (also a boundary violation). These N. traits can really block recovery, because they cause habits of self-preservation and defensiveness.
~If there are three children standing together with their hands out, and they each receive five candies, there is no issue. But if one of those children is a bully, then he or she might try to take the others' candy.

The automatic reaction of those kids would be to CLOSE their hand and try to hold on to their candy, and defend themselves against the bully.

OR, if the adult handing the candy out is a "Narcissist", he or she might give one of the kids 8 candies (the kid they favor), another one 5, and another one 2, the one they least favor.

This is very likely to provoke superiority in the favored child, suspicion, envy, and superiority in the "middle" child, and resentment, humiliation, self-loathing, and/or ENVY in the scapegoated child.

If these behaviors keep happening without the targeted child being stood up for or protected against the bullying, then it's easy to see why the child would develop all kinds of perceptions about themselves and the world, and develop coping mechanisms that become behavioral habits.

A closed fist cannot receive anything at all, nor can its fingers work or do anything. A closed fist is only useful for one thing. But it's hard to open one's hand if one doesn't feel safe. So one of the important steps in recovery is to seek out and create safety for one's self and one's children, whatever it takes. When one feels safe, one will be able to learn how to open one's hand to receive and give. ~ <3 br="">