Fashion Police, Fohawks, Faux Hawks For Helmets

Came across yet another article bashing the way total strangers dress... right, because certain people are entitled to do that, dictate what other people SHOULD or SHOULD NOT wear...

Lol geez LIGHTEN UP! What's the deal with the Fashion Police epidemic? They're the reason why everyone at the mall look like clones...

Excellently hilarious, or "cool", however you want it to be; and even funnier is the fact that it freaks out the Control Freak self-appointed Fashion Police...

Excellent Kids, I love these!
I think I'm gonna get one just to wear when I go to the grocery store... wish I was still a teen, but then again what's stopping me?!


Awareness About Who and What We Listen To

There is a certain irony in the fact that "the masses" have a "voice" now, via the free internet, and also the fact that this is the wealthiest era in human history, obviously not for all individuals or people, but for humanity as a species. It is the first time in recorded human history that a person who was not raised in a wealthy enough family, or has "class", race, or gender privilege, is freely able to simply PUBLISH whatever is on his or her mind, with very little censure. Throughout human history, only certain people were "allowed" to express their views, their observations, even their scientific discoveries in a public, published way; it has always been under the rule and subject to the approval of whomever was governing the region at the time.

Most of the history we read, religious writings, science, philosophy, even music and art have been nearly all under the control and scrutiny of those who held "authority". So whatever their personal prejudices and biases were, whatever their agendas were, they were reflected by what was published, what was allowed to be published, what passed their personal approval.

Most published works of ANYTHING have been created by males, and only those works were published that passed through the scrutiny of whomever held power, however skewed their perception.

The reasons for both of these facts were about control and power of the "masses", and also about the personal prejudices and issues of those "in power", not about "All Men" believing themselves to be superior. Women have been mostly closed out of being published due to obvious prejudice and certain people's personal issues, but men have also been under just as much control and scrutiny for the most part, and MOST MEN were NOT published, no matter how enlightened, skilled, talented, or smart they were in their interest.

(It's amazing to me, personally, that some of the obviously anti-elitist and anti-sexist teachings from the era of Jesus survived in the 4 written Gospels that Emperor Constantine allowed to be included in the origin of the Christian Bible.)

However, now, in this modern era, this very modern, recent era, for the first time ever, men of any age, any background, any "status", educational level, wealth "status", or ancestry can freely PUBLISH pretty much whatever they want. ANY point of view can be published freely, no matter what the person's personality, mental state, emotional state, or personal prejudices are. A completely psychotic person with extreme prejudices against specific groups or individuals can PUBLISH, and present their work as "factual", as advice, as guidance, as religion, as spiritual guidance, as if they are coming from an experienced, grounded, and "enlightened" point of view, just as freely as a person with years of experience, just as freely as a person who is very fair-minded, aware, experienced, genuinely caring and supportive, or "enlightened". Just as freely as anyone else on the planet. The wealthy and the "connected" are of course more able to PROMOTE what they publish, whether they're psychotic or stable, but literally any person who can access a Wi Fi device can publish whatever they want, for free.

That means we are all exposed to every imaginable personality type in the human species; when we read, listen, or engage with those who publish, we need to keep this in mind. We are no longer in a purely "academic" forum, with only people who have been guided in critical and objective thinking, or only people who understand what "bias" and "prejudice" is, or even only people who maintain basic civility and basic respect for others because they know and understand why it's important, or even what it is. So when we listen, read, or engage with those who publish in this era, remember that they could be coming from, literally, ANY point of view, ANY mental state, ANY bias or emotional disorder. They MIGHT be a person who respects other humans, who is insightful, civil, and cares about people (or animals, or rights), but they also MIGHT be a psychopath, or just completely delusional.

Of course throughout history, many of the published works were ALSO done by delusional, mentally ill, emotionally disordered people, and there has always been serious consequences because of people following along with their "work" and "instruction". There has ALSO always been serious consequences from people MISCONSTRUING the published work of fair-minded, aware, intelligent, stable people. Most religious writings have "inspired" unstable readers and followers to do horrendous, ridiculous things that weren't even CLOSE to what the script was trying to communicate.

So, we have mentally and emotionally compromised individuals throughout history both doing the publishing AND the reading, listening, viewing, and "following". However, this is the first time ever, as far as we know, that any one at all could PUBLISH whatever their point of view is without CENSURE from someone in authority or power. And that means ANYTHING that ANYONE thinks of to publish, either because they're serious or making a joke, can be something we find on a Google Search, or on YouTube.  The most prejudiced, skewed, sick, mean person in the world can be creating and publishing their work right now, as we speak, and if we do the right search, we might find it; we aren't going to know that the person is psychotic or has a personality disorder.

So, we need to remember not to "BUY INTO" what we read, what we listen to, or what people advise. We are free, of course, to listen, but we do not EVER need to swallow or buy into their opinion, advice, guidance, or beliefs.

And then there's the matter of participating in commenting and discussion. Anyone who's ever been in a situation with a Narcissistic or psychotic person is probably aware of the problem with engaging personally in any kind of verbal exchange, whether it's in person or on the internet. No boundaries, no conscience, no remorse, no self-control, no awareness means no qualms about verbally attacking a person, smearing their reputation to others, sabotaging them, or trying to establish more of a connection with them than they allow or are willing to do.

Awareness Trumps Fear! :)

Be Debt Free Of Burden; Prem Rawat

"The heart begins to fill. Then what happens? You begin to reap those simple fruits of what was sown inside of you a long time ago.
That is when the promise that you made to yourself begins to be fulfilled. That's when it happens.
So... be debt-free. Be debt-free, free of debt, free of burden."
River Of Time: Prem Rawat


"INCOMPLETE" is not the same as "INCORRECT".

I am amazed nearly every day by this common oversight in logic when I read various articles and comments about articles, especially coming from so many intelligent people.

"I take issue with this article and the author's observations are wrong; the second paragraph doesn't talk about how my race is equally affected!"
"The author completely forgets about the fact that there is another region in this country that's much different from the place talked about in the article."
"Limes are used for this purpose also, the author is wrong in saying that lemons are used."
"The author obviously has a female-bias and is incorrect in her statistics, she does not mention the fact that men are also abused..."

When a person writes anything at all, or makes any kind of point or observation about anything, OF COURSE it's incomplete! OF COURSE they didn't include every single point, counterpoint, piece of information, point of view, or piece of evidence. There is no work by a human being, EVER, that includes every single facet of a subject, any subject at all.

All each of us can do is share what we see, what we've observed, what we've figured out, what we've noticed specifically, and we can only EFFECTIVELY do that ONE TOPIC AT A TIME.

All each of us can do (ANY of us) is share the VERY LIMITED point of view that we are capable of having as Homo Sapien Sapiens, AND as readers, listeners, and students, it's our responsibility and hopefully, CAPABILITY, to engage with ONE SUBJECT AT A TIME.

There is no document ever, ever written by a human that includes all of the information surrounding that topic or subject, or that states what it does include in COMPLETE ACCURACY. 

This expectation of perfection, complete inclusion of every detail that even touches the subject, and incredible, computer-like accuracy is frankly silly, especially since it's not based in any kind of reality.
The person who accuses someone else of being "incorrect" in their observations BECAUSE their article, post, or statement is INCOMPLETE would not ever, ever be able to form a statement, write a paper, document, or article, or express their meaning in a COMPLETE FORM, including every point of view, every fact, every effect, every piece of history surrounding the topic, etc, etc. NEVER MIND the things regarding the topic that aren't actually KNOWN or UNDERSTOOD by any humans.

Seriously. It's ridiculous, very counter productive, and all about ego (the inflated kind), not information exchange or discovery.

"Program" From Narcissistic Abuse

One of the programs that can get implemented with control-abuse and codependent dynamics is very subtle approval-seeking. The program gets "installed" as part of the core decision-making process.
It looks something like:
"I like this coat, and it fits what I need and want in a coat, I want to buy it"... but then, from underneath, in a quiet voice, "What will so-and-so think, say, and DO if I buy this coat, if I wear this coat, if they see this coat, if they see me wearing this coat, if they know the price of this coat" and "Will they accept me more or less if I wear this coat; what will this coat imply about me; will they think it makes me look stuck-up, rich, poor, classy, low-class, trying too hard". and "what will be the outcome of all factors if I buy this coat", and then, often, "there are too many potential negative consequences for buying this coat, better not buy it right now, maybe another time."

If a Controller likes or approves of the coat purchase, then most of those "worries" can seem to melt away.
This program can be seen in anyone from a "codependent" system, whatever their role in the system is, including "Golden children" and "Controllers". (A Controller might desire and seek approval AND try to control and dominate others at the same time.)

This program can cause an undercurrent of anxiety that can become debilitating, especially when accompanied by similar programs such as social anxiety or agoraphobia.
It can hold a person back from doing absolutely anything without direct or APPARENT approval from others, from speaking during a conversation, to getting a job, to going through the steps to go to college, to actually going to class, to making soup, to buying socks, to maintaining their car.

Ego: Good or Bad?

A common effect of narcissistic conditioning is believing that "ego" is bad. Not everyone gets affected in this way, but many do.
"Ego" is simply a kind of energetic version of our "skin" and our "self", connected with our boundaries. It can be healthy or unhealthy, but it's just a part of how we're made. Those with serious control issues will often send the message in various ways, over and over, that a target's ego is bad, that it's "inflated", that the target is arrogant/stuck-up/aggressive and has too much ego. However, this is the kind of thing that one might say to an actual control-freak who is wreaking havoc and creating serious problems, not a message one sends to a child, or to a loved one. Even if a child WAS displaying "inflated ego" issues (although it's usually just childhood confidence and boundary development misconstrued by adults), the remedy is more guidance, not disparagement.
When a person is targeted to strip them of their ego, they are being violated, and when a person is targeted for conditioning so that they believe their own ego is "bad", like a disease or a deformity, that's brainwashing and abuse.
Controllers of course want targets to be ego-less, because they can control and violate them much more easily. There's no barrier. Also, without ego, we tend to "let ourselves go", meaning we don't focus on keeping ourselves "shiny", so other people don't notice us as much, are less attracted, and so we receive less attention, and therefore less support, automatically.
The definition of the word "ego" has been skewed by popular culture in a way that implies automatic negativity, but it's not, it's just a part of being a human being. We're supposed to have an ego. It doesn't make us good or bad.
Narcissists channel their energy and focus into their ego and image, but not their character underneath. When one channels energy into one's real life, self, relationship with others, and learning, with humility, one's ego develops along with healthy boundaries. Anyone's ego can become inflated, but that's just something that happens to us as humans, we learn and we grow, and our ego becomes healthier.
Like M&M's, in a simplistic way: The candy shell as the ego is supposed to be there, without it the chocolate is vulnerable and melts easily; you can't just carry them around, they would get squished. But the core of the candy is the chocolate. Without that, it's just an empty shell. The M&M is a piece of chocolate, first, and around that chocolate is the candy shell. So without the shell it's still an M&M, but it's vulnerable.
If M&M's did not put chocolate inside those candy shells, and put all of their energy into only the shells, maybe made them flourescent or added sparkles, we would still see them as really neato M&M's, but we would have no idea there was no chocolate inside. Until we bought them, brought them home, and started eating them.
So what's "wrong" is when the ego is the thing that the person is putting all of their energy and focus into, not when the ego is present and exists. A healthy ego, like the shell of an M&M, doesn't DO anything negative to anyone else, it protects what's inside, makes it okay to travel around, and it likes to keep itself "up", clean, colorful, and shiny. With a clear "m" stamp ~ it's okay to be happy about that, and it's healthy; we're SUPPOSED TO maintain ourselves and let that be part of our confidence. When the ego and shell becomes our focal point to where we ignore and forget about what's inside, then it's unhealthy.
But the shell on the M&M, and the ego on a human, is perfectly healthy, it's supposed to be there, and it's important to keep it healthy.

Defensive Behavior On Purpose

"Being defensive" is a learned way of getting out of lots of things. It's also used to force one's point of view, or force getting one's way. When one behaves defensively, then one is implying that they are the one who is under fire and being treated unfairly. Reality doesn't matter if the behavior itself works, and it does work, quite often.

Children who develop this habit often learned it directly from watching someone else, a parent or other older person, even a sibling or neighbor. They also learned that people do get away with using it as a control tool in many circles, with many individuals.

Children learn that it can be used for all kinds of purposes, pretty much anything, if those around them allow it or fall for it. If they use it successfully during childhood, and are not reprimanded for it or guided away from it, they will often continue to use it in adulthood.

When there are several people in a group who use defensiveness for control purposes, they will often defend one another. They're really defending the behavior itself, not the person, and this can be seen when they throw the person they were just defending last week under the bus to defend themselves.

Humans tend to automatically align themselves with whoever is acting "defensively", REGARDLESS of facts and reality, and this automatic behavior increases dramatically when the person is like THEMSELVES in some way. The similarity can be anything at all, from being a fan of the same sports team, to being on the same "rung" of the ladder at their company, to being the same sex, same race, similar height, ancestry, FIELD of work or study, wealth or poverty status, even being from the same town, wearing similar clothing, anything at all that says "that person is like me".

Humans also tend to consider themselves "understanding" and "objective" when they align themselves with a person who is behaving defensively; they give themselves a 'reward' for it, and feel like a 'good person'. However the fact that they didn't actually view the events or situation objectively, from ALL sides equally, without bias, doesn't seem to enter their minds.

Behaving defensively is a learned behavior, usually from childhood, that a fair number of people use for control purposes.

Narcissism And Lying

Yes, most Narcissists lie habitually, about pretty much anything and anyone, for serious reasons and for very petty reasons. N's who do this may constantly make things up about themselves and about other people in order to manipulate whatever situation they're in, so it's in their favor. Tiny things or very big things, no thing and nobody is "immune".

They will imply nasty things about others, even their "loved ones', that aren't true, just to gain sympathy and attention from others. They'll exaggerate or make up illnesses and injuries, completely re-write conversations they had with others and then tell someone the "edited" version, they'll simply fabricate parts of their past, their present, and their future, and about OTHERS as well. Most N's will lie TO or ABOUT anyone, and anything, in order to make things the way the want them, and to put themselves in a "good light".
It does appear that many are actually delusional: they believe the lies they make up; their brains create a different version of reality, and they believe it, and then speak and behave accordingly.

Sometimes they get caught when they've gone "too far" with outlandish rumors, or get tangled in too many opposing fibs, or trash the "wrong" person, but often they stay undetected because:

While they're lying, they're acting as innocent, as well-informed, as injured, ill, and compromised, or as victimized as possible. A very large number of people fall for the act, hook line and sinker.

In most cases they did develop this habit as an unhealthy coping skill during childhood, so it's often deeply seated.
It's important to note: When one FEELS innocent and above reproach, it's much easier to convey the image of genuine innocence, and it's much easier to understand why they would feel defensive.
Regarding the people who fall for the act: It's one thing to fall for the facade another person is trying convey about themselves;
it's another thing entirely to go along willfully with slander and gossip, whether it's serious or seemingly trivial, about someone else.

Victim Hood

  • Frequent bullying treatment such as being insulted, humiliated, invalidated, put down, ignored, verbally attacked, backstabbed, abandoned when in need, lied to, lied ABOUT, sabotaged, bullied, invaded, assaulted, played, and generally betrayed is going to have effects on a person. No normal human being is going to walk around "unscathed" and unaffected after being the target of this kind of treatment, whether it was during childhood or adulthood, whether it was family, friend, partner, or other. Only a robot, or a sociopath, would simply keep on like nothing happened, "pick themselves up and brush themselves off", "get on with their life", or "get over it". If it didn't affect you and your life adversely, that's when you want to worry. That would actually be a sign of mental illness.
    So, take heart if you feel overwhelmed, have depression or anxiety issues, or like your recovery is taking too long; it means you have a real, working, human brain.