"Desperately Seeking Targets": What Narcissists Want

What do Narcissists seek in a romantic partner, business partner, employee, or friend?

Cross the word "Partner" out first. Narcissists are not interested in being "equal" with anyone. Everyone else, to them, is either "above" or "below", either a Leader or a Follower, either a Boss or a Subordinate, either the Star of the show or the Star's assistant, either the Main Attraction or an audience member.
SINCE in their minds everyone is either The Leader or The Follower, the Diva or the Groupie, the Expert or the Novice, they usually prefer to be one rather than the other.

That being said, what, again, do Narcissists seek in others?

~Willingness to play second-fiddle (or third, or fourth, just never first) at all times, in every situation.

~Willingness to be treated as an unimportant, less valuable person.

~Willingness to give up one's own aspirations, goals, and plans in order to be the Narcissist's assistant, support system, tool-fetcher, caregiver or audience member.

~Willingness to drop whatever one is doing at any time in order to fulfill someone else's requests.

~Willingness to feign a lack of knowledge, experience, and ability in order to allow the Narcissist, and/or someone else connected to them, to always feel superior.

~Willingness to be left behind, left out, ignored, unacknowledged, invalidated on a regular basis, diminished as a person.

~Willingness to pretend to believe bold-faced lies and obvious b.s.

~Willingness to put up with insulting, inconsiderate, impolite, rude, crude, or even cruel behavior and speech, either on a regular basis, or sporadically.

~Willingness to risk losing everything, including one's remaining self-esteem, confidence, health, and dignity, for someone else's continued comfort.

~Willingness to go along with anything and everything another person wants or says.

~Willingness to give up one's autonomy and personal liberty, regardless of what one may or may not receive in return.

~Willingness to dissolve any genuine connections that one may have with others.

~Willingness to pretend that any wrongdoing that someone else has done didn't really happen, or go along with justifying that there was a good reason for whatever they did or didn't do.

~Willingness to accept betrayal, and pretend it didn't happen.

~Willingness to never disagree, never speak one's own mind, never express annoyance, anger, or frustration, and never stand up for one's self or another against disrespect, unfairness, or abuse.

Sign That You May Be Dealing WIth A Narcissist

A sign that you MIGHT be dealing with a person who has Narcissism in a personal relationship:

You feel like you have to coax them to pay attention to you, to notice positive things that you do, to remember important things about you, and to acknowledge what you do and say.

They seem oblivious to your actual ability, accomplishments, capability, and experience, but are always ready and willing to "correct" you or give you unsolicited, unasked for "advice".

They don't seem to WANT to remember your strengths and positive attributes; they don't acknowledge real things you DO or things you SAY.

They may even attribute "positive" things you do or say to OTHER PEOPLE, or to themselves! ~In order to maintain their "lesser status" image of you that they carry in their imagination.

They may also project negative traits or weaknesses onto you that have NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU, that you DON'T HAVE - again, in order to maintain their delusional "lesser status" image of you that they've created in their mind.

People who have Narcissism don't live in reality, they create their own, and "re-create" other people to fit into their created illusion. Because of this, they don't even try to learn real things about other people; not even those in their own family, or those that they're in romantic relationships with. They will only learn something "new" about someone (or about themselves) that's outside of their illusion when they absolutely have to in order to alleviate pain, fear, or discomfort, and often not even then.

Right Or Wrong And What's Important

Forget about who's right and who's wrong about minutia, technicalities, and morality. If they don't understand what's so important about how they treat others, then they're missing one of the main essential pieces in any and all topics of discussion on this planet. If they're missing that, then they're not going to be able to complete any puzzle they're presented with. They may think they've completed it when they've found some kind of resolution, or made something work, but they haven't, they've just made an incomplete model that will eventually fall apart or cause other problems. They're missing the most important piece: the reason the puzzle exists in the first place. That reason is the surface that's needed to construct the puzzle on.
Don't argue with them when they say 'One doesn't need a surface to construct a puzzle'; they're telling you that they don't understand what you're talking about, and probably never will.

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