Anti-Establishment, Rebellion, Fairness, Justice, RIghts

Hypocrite: A person who "fights for equal rights, justice, and fair treatment"...
but not for those other people...

If you're talking about "RESPECT, EQUALITY, AND FAIRNESS" for people who are your own sex, race, age, or otherwise, but not for the others, and especially not for one certain group of "others",

You Are Full Of Crap.
You just want to be one of the people who are in control and have power over other people.
(Those other people... those "smaller" people... those ones who don't look the same as you, or have the same body parts, or hair...)

Grow up.

When Your Wife, Partner, Friend, Or Child Is A "Bitch"

A red flag of Codependency OR Narcissism is when a person talks about their spouse, partner, friend, family member, or business partner in a deprecating way, as if the person is very hard to live with and deal with, but makes no move to fix anything, or simply end the relationship, or move on and out.

"I can't stand him he's such an a**hole, so sick of his issues."
"That pain in the ass"
"She's a royal b****, she drives me crazy."
"Nag nag nag..."
"Oh it's HIM again, I have to answer this"
"Here we go again, it's HER..."

Or TO the person.
"All you do is yak, yak, yak.."
"Go f. yourself..."
"Did we take our B. pills today?"
"What is it NOW?!"
"You are such a know it all, pain in my ass!"
"We're DONE!"

Those are things that a healthy person MIGHT say about someone they are trying to get away from, right now. Not next week, not six months from now, but RIGHT NOW. If the relationship is that awful, then plans should be already made and moving forward for the person to make a hasty departure.

BUT... people who are Controllers WANT someone they can use for a punching bag. They want someone around who they can complain about, who they can trash to be "COOL", and who they can use to paint themselves a victim. They often want someone around who they can USE as a servant, a decoration, a sex doll, a a surrogate parent for themselves, a parent for "THEIR kids", a paycheck, etc. in a one-sided relationship, or someone who they can play out their past on.

Controllers who have Narcissism especially, will NOT go to counseling, will NOT communicate civilly and caringly with the person and try to repair the relationship, will NOT learn about themselves and their own behavior, will NOT follow through on anything, and will DO NOTHING significant to improve the relationship. They will take NO responsibility, usually, for their own contribution.

If a person acts like they CAN NOT STAND another person, are always MAD at another person, are always ACCUSING the other person, but they do nothing except complain and rage at them, or about them, then they are almost certainly either seriously Codependent or a Narcissist, or BOTH.

NPD or Something Else

It helps us to recognize what's really going on with a person who's displaying behaviors that could be construed as abusive or Narcissistic.
If they are actually "NPD", then we really need to be very careful about interacting with them, how much access they have to us and others in our lives, and our resources. A person with NPD is not at all connected to reality, and has apparently no remorse or guilt about getting their wants met, and their wants could range from getting an ice cream right now, to buying whatever toy they want regardless of who's money they're using, to hiding seriously dangerous, illegal, or damaging behavior. As in, they'll set up a Meth Lab in your basement, where you live with your children.
They'll make sure you get fired to retaliate against something that tweaked their ego, or something you didn't even do. They'll trash anyone at all to High Heaven, just for a desired outcome for themselves, or even just for fun, because they're getting attention. They'll tell your parents, your kids, your friends, family, coworkers, boss, neighbors, anyone who will listen that you're secretly a drug-smuggling child-trafficker, or whatever it takes, in order to turn them against you, and to make you lose your support network, business, and reputation. They'll fight for sole custody of your kids, sue you, and try to make sure you don't get your own money or possessions for no reason other than to "win" against you, hurt you, and control you, literally.

Most people who display Narcissism traits or abusive behavior are not "NPD". There's a large number of things that can cause a person to become hostile or abusive, including legal medication, or self-medicating with any kind of substance. (If a person can ingest it and it's for purposes of causing some kind of effect, it's a drug.) Addiction to our own adrenaline and neurochemicals can also cause all kinds of behaviors. Obviously PTSD can cause hostility and defensiveness. BPD can display as aggressive or manipulative behavior, but it's not NPD, and can be treated very effectively, since it's really an effect of control, neglect, and/or abuse on a child growing up. People with Bipolar disorder may have delusions, and may become very aggressive. Alzheimer's is a big one, and tragic, but if you didn't know a person had it, you might think they were a "raging Narc.". A lot of people mistake Asperger's for Narcissism, for various reasons.

If YOU are worried that you're too judgmental, hostile, aggressive, or self-centered, then you probably don't have NPD (you wouldn't CARE if you did, or notice it). But you may benefit greatly from doing research about your symptoms, and finding a good therapist, doctor, or healer.

Aggressive Or Defensive

People who have aggressive behaviors, especially if they suffer from some form of illness or disorder (can include PTSD) often do NOT seem to know the differences between aggression and defense, or the difference between domination and expressing one's own point of view.
They also don't seem to know the difference between slander and seeking help, advice, or solace. (Whether they're on the talking end or the receiving end.)

The "aggressor" is the one who is "chasing" a person to "make them" give some kind of response, "make them" give attention, or "prove" to them that they're "wrong".

Aggressors also commonly actively try to RECRUIT OTHERS for their "side" against a person.
Aggressors actively do things TO another person, and ABOUT another person, without respect for the person.
Aggressors often try to MAKE other people feel, do, believe, and say what they want them to.

A POST on Facebook expressing one's own feelings, observations, or point of view is PASSIVE and non-hostile, unless it mentions a specific person; then it's aggressive.

A countering COMMENT on someone else's Post is aggressive, not passive. An insulting comment is hostile, not defensive.

Messaging someone with accusations, name-calling, demands, or threats is aggressive, and hostile, not passive.

Going TO another person and trying to get them to DISLIKE and TURN AGAINST someone they know is aggressive, very hostile, and manipulative.

Using a dog for an example, the dog who is walking around out in the street looking to bite a person who's also walking in the street, because they're there, or because of their smell or their shoes, is AGGRESSIVE. The dog is INITIATING contact with the person, the dog is actively going TO THE PERSON in order to bite them.

But if that same dog is in a yard, behind a fence, and a human person comes to the fence and taunts the dog, and reaches over the fence, then that dog is DEFENDING him or herself. The HUMAN in this case is being AGGRESSIVE.
There's no justification for it, the human initiated contact and invaded the dog's space. 

How Abusers Maintain Control Over Another Person

The three main methods Controllers keep control over a target is inducing fear of consequence for non-compliance to their commands and expectation; manipulation/lying; and lying and exaggerating to other people about a target.

People who aren't Controllers DON'T HAVE targets.
They don't trash others or participate in gossip about others.
They don't try to bully, dominate, and control others,
and they don't lie and omit information from the people in their lives who they're pretending to care about and be connected with in order to manipulate people and situations, or in order to make themselves look better. 
(with the exception of when they need to protect themselves or others from abuse).

This IS one of the reasons a Controller will target a specific person, because they don't fear CONSEQUENCES from the person.

They don't fear that the person will hit them back or threaten them back physically.
They don't fear that someone is going to stand up for them, especially when they have already slandered the target in order to convince people that he or she is a "bad person". (Since most modern humans seem to drink up back-stabbing others like good beer, it's easy for them.)
They don't fear that the person will retaliate somehow, because they know the person's VALUES and integrity are intact, and they just aren't going to do it.
They don't fear that the target is going to EXPOSE THEM, because again, they've already convinced people who the target would go to that the TARGET is a "bad person" and not to be trusted.

The overwhelming lack of maturity that plagues the human species is what allows Narcissism to persist. Most people don't stand up for others against even the smallest disrespects, never mind slander or abuse, generally. They are more likely to swallow gossip and slander hook, line, and sinker, quite willingly. And they are more likely to bully than to help a person who's already targeted; they're more likely to deny bully behavior (so they can keep doing it) than monitor their own behavior and motives, and they're more likely to ALLOW a target to be bullied and disrespected, instead of doing anything to stop it or even admit that it's happening.

Humans who don't stand up for others against disrespect, bullying, slander, or abuse are most likely ALSO DOING IT THEMSELVES, to someone else.