Rights, Ethics, And Maturity

Without maturity, there can be no "Rights".

Maturity is not about conformity, copying others, or fitting in, nor is it about being stern, being domineering,  acting like a "tough guy", acting superior, bossing others around, following certain people, or being part of a larger group.

It's about things like:

accepting that one is not perfect;

accepting that every person is "accepted" and "liked" in their own 'crowd', and "unaccepted" and "not liked" in someone else's 'crowd' ~
there are no universally accepted and liked individuals, nor are there any universally disliked, rejected, or despised individuals; (no, not even them...);

dealing with adversity and problems while remembering the 'bigger picture';
learning the difference between actions and feelings;
learning how to govern one's own behavior;
accepting and embracing accountability;
respecting other people without assuming and judging them on their body type and appearance;
understanding that the way we treat others comes from WITHIN ourselves, not from them;
how to learn about one's self and the world;
learning the difference between subjectivity and objectivity;

learning the difference between fact and opinion;
learning how to deal with change;
knowing how and why to treat others with civility;
understanding ethics and why they're important;
learning about listening to other points of view without feeling lectured or dominated, and without countering (arguing) OR becoming indoctrinated;
not twisting one's values just to fit in with others;
having the strength to stand up for one's self and for others;
learning and understanding that the world has been here before we were born and will continue after we're gone;

learning about one's own biases, prejudices, and assumptions;
learning why biases are not based in reality;
learning how to think critically and scientifically (without bias, without following);
learning how to both follow and lead respectfully, without following blindly or leading tyranically.  

For a "people" to have and keep their privilege of "Rights", they must be able to comprehend and understand that in order for them to have the "right" for something, then every other citizen must also have that same right.

In order for one citizen (YOU, ME) to have freedom, you have to understand that your neighbor whom you can't stand or you think is stupid ALSO must have the SAME freedom.
In order for one citizen (YOU, ME) to have justice, you have to protect others' right to justice, even if you completely disagree with them, even if you think he or she is an idiot.
In order for one citizen (YOU, ME) to receive fair treatment, a fair trial, fair anything, then FAIRNESS ITSELF has to be protected, for every single citizen, including those you "can't stand".

RIGHTS are not "rights" if they are only for some (the 'good people'? the 'smart people'? the 'down to earth people'? the 'righteous people'? the "strong people"?) and not for others (those we don't like, those we disagree with). Those kind of "rights" are called "entitlements", not rights, and are found NOT in FREE countries, but in places where there are dictatorships and political caste systems (not "free").

So if a person with one ancestry or skin color makes a racial slur, that's not "more okay" or "less okay" than when another person does it, unless you want to forget about your own RIGHTS.

Rights aren't given out to "those we like" and denied for "who we don't like", or they're NOT RIGHTS.

If one person makes sexist remarks and everyone laughs, then it must be just as funny when another person makes sexist remarks! JUST AS FUNNY! Why isn't it funny, deary? Ego a little touchy today?

If one person gets encouraged and applauded when they "buck the system", then it must be just as awesome when another person does it, who is the opposite sex or a different color!
No? Not so much?

When one person expresses their STRENGTH and their ANGER against all the INJUSTICE, it's SO COOL, isn't it?!
But apparently only when THEY do it... because... um... well... you're just not cool enough... yeah that's it... you just aren't as cool as they are... sure... yeah, that's the reason we don't like it when YOU do it... that's why we try to shut you down... and try to make you look like a crazy person or a bad person...
even though we were all applauding when that OTHER person was doing and saying MUCH MORE OUTRAGEOUS THINGS than YOU were...
(See, it's OKAY when THEY do it... cuz... well, cuz... that's just the way it is! And because Uncle Jay said so!!! I don't know!!! Leave me alone!!!  Daaad!!)

When one person expresses their BELIEFS and OPINIONS about anything and everything, that's GREAT, it's WONDERFUL, they have the RIGHT to say what they want to say...
And they're SO SMART!
And they're SO WISE!
Right... yup... they sure do...

(Or "tough", or "cool", or "righteous", or "bad ass", or "innocent")

Basically as long as they align with our HATES and PREJUDICES, and say what we LIKE, then we will support and fight for their RIGHT to express themselves and carry on, because they're LIKE US.

ESPECIALLY if they LOOK and SOUND like a "smart person" or a "cool person".

But for anyone we don't really like, or agree with, or who doesn't have the right sex, race, or appearance,  then FORGET IT, we don't want to HEAR IT from them, they should just SHUT UP.

Isn't that right?

So let's go over that again... whoever WE LIKE deserves "rights", "justice", "freedom", and "respect",  and whoever we DON'T LIKE should be UNDER OUR CONTROL and JUDGMENT.

Gee, hope you or I never fall into the category of someone else NOT LIKING US, huh?

So if we want JUSTICE and RIGHTS only for ourselves, but we don't think others (whom we don't like, whom we think are dumb, or whom we don't agree with) "deserve" the same rights as we do, then we should probably move to a country where there's a dictatorship, and see if they'll let us be one of the "privileged, entitled" class who has more entitlements than others.
Be careful though, usually there are specific requirements for being one of the "privileged", such as huge amounts of wealth, proof of the royal bloodline in that country, the "right" sex in that particular country, even the "right" height, the "right" skin tone (too light or too dark and you're out).
Oh, and they have to LIKE you, and TRUST you, personally. If they don't think you're "one of them", and that you'll go along with and obey everything they say, you're out. If they think you're too ugly or too good-looking, they won't like or trust you, and you'll be cast out. If they don't like one of your relatives because they're too ugly or too good-looking, they're out, and you're out. If you say something they don't like, you're out. If you like the wrong kind of ice cream, you're out. If they find you even slightly annoying, you're out.
Depending on the individuals you're dealing with, if they don't like you for any reason, you might not even survive being told that you're out.

But hey, that's what we want, isn't it? For only certain people to "deserve rights", and others not?

Happy Reading!

United States:
Bill of Rights

List of Amendments


Projection: Accusing Others Of What One Feels Guilty Or Ashamed Of

Projection is a common behavior in human beings, even in many who are aware of the behavior in themselves and others. It's one of those habits a lot of people pick up from others during childhood that can be hard to shake even when one becomes aware of it.

Basically, projection means we are "projecting" our own feelings, thoughts, actions and motives onto another person, like projecting a picture from film onto a blank screen. The screen is blank, there is no real picture on it, but when we put a beam of light behind a film, the picture on the film gets projected onto the blank screen, so it's as if the screen actually has this picture on it, even though it doesn't really.
It's still, in reality, a blank screen.

People who project their feelings, thoughts, motives and behaviors onto others often do this toward those whom they feel specifically angry, jealous, or envious toward, or whom they harbor resentment toward, or whom they have guilt or shame toward.

Projection is usually a process of denial. The person is attempting to take something off of themselves and stick it onto another person  so it's not "on them" anymore. When a person projects onto another it is considered rude, and is a control, bully, or gossip behavior. Feeling remorse and guilt, even shame  for the behavior would be appropriate, and therefore apology and amends would also be.

Some people project more than others, and some to an extreme degree.
Many seem to use it as a major defense mechanism, and may appear to be utterly unaware of it.

A very common example of projection is accusing woman who the person sees as "pretty" or "beautiful"  of being preoccupied with her own physical beauty. It is actually the person who is focused on her who is preoccupied with her beauty. Whether she is also preoccupied on it remains to be seen, in most cases, and even whether the woman herself shares the opinion of her appearance being "pretty" or "beautiful" is probably unknown as well to the other person. Many people seem to assume that any woman whom THEY think is physically attractive MUST share their view of her own appearance, and also must be arrogant about her looks.

This projection reveals THEIR OWN tendency toward arrogance and control-seeking, it has not much at all to do with the woman they are projecting their own feelings onto. She might think she's attractive, and she might not at all; she might even see herself as unattractive. And even if she has confidence in her appearance, that is far and away from being "stuck up" or haughty about her own looks. But how SHE feels is irrelevant; projection and assumption come from the OTHER person, regarding their OWN feelings, not the woman's.
In other words, THEY are the ones who would be arrogant if they looked like the woman, that's why they ASSUME that SHE is arrogant. It's what's in their own minds.

There are other types of projection as well, all based on the similar attempting to take something OFF of one's self and stick it onto another person.
Common examples include people who steal saying that "everyone is a thief", people who are sexually promiscuous saying or believing that "everyone" else is also promiscuous (some just try to hide it).

People who project take their own motives, feelings and behaviors and put them ON someone else.

So the cheating spouse accuses their partner of cheating, or at least thinking about it.

The projecting body builder accuses everyone else in the gym of wanting to be just like him "deep down", they just "can't handle it".

The projecting teacher who neglects the students might accuse parents of being neglectful.

The projecting "friend" may accuse the person who has helped them many times of "always needing someone to lean on" or "never doing anything on their own".

A classmate who frequently copies off of someone else's work may project "being a cheater" onto the person they copy from.

The professor who identifies him or herself as "the top expert" may often project "academic arrogance" onto a gifted student.

The mother who is envious of her daughter's youth may project her own hostility and jealousy onto her daughter.

The father who is envious of his son's youth may project his own hostility and jealousy onto his son.

The spouse who seeks to control and dominate their partner will often project their own control and domination motives onto their partner.

Projection is often seen as LITERAL accusations, and are often apparently believed by the accuser, which can be very confusing.

For example, Gina cheats on David with Scott, and then Gina actually accuses David of cheating on her with Sarah. As if Gina TOOK HER OWN MEMORY of cheating with Scott, and just STUCK IT ON DAVID, as if the memory was ACTUALLY of David with Sarah, NOT Gina with Scott.

Or, George at work who stole money out of a slush fund might actually accuse John of stealing money, EVEN THOUGH NO ONE WAS AWARE THAT MONEY WAS MISSING.

Or, a musician in a band who really wants to be the "star of the show" will often accuse anyone else who he/she fears is very talented, or who gets any positive attention from others, of being a "spotlight hog" or a "Prima Donna" or a "Primo Uomo".

A person who was drinking on the job might start rumors or make accusations about another specific person drinking on the job, regardless of whether the person drinks at all.

A person who is preoccupied with sex may project their own thoughts onto others, even their own relatives, accusing them of being "loose".

A person who has a drug habit may project being an addict onto others, again even in their own family, and in some cases even onto the children in the family.

Some projections seem to be purely purposeful attempts at trashing and sabotaging another person. But others appear to actually be believed by the person doing the projecting, as if they are seeing their own behaviors, feelings and thoughts in a mirror in front of them, but believing that they're seeing the other person feeling, thinking, and doing those things.

Memories from interactions with OTHER people can also be projected onto a person, for example a husband who projects may accuse his NEW wife of doing things that his EX wife actually did, but that the new wife HAS NOT EVER done.
Or a relative who accuses their nephew of doing something that their OWN SON did, not the nephew.   A stepparent accusing their stepchild of doing things that actually happened in their OWN childhood.

It can even be FROM TV or MOVIES. So for example a person who projects may accuse another person of doing something they saw a character do on TV last week.

Projections are NOT based in the reality of the person who is getting projected ONTO, so the origin of the projection could easily vary. It's not real, so no matter where it comes from, it's going to be fantasy anyway.

Since they are based in fantasy and not reality, a person who projects things onto others really does need some kind of professional help with this affliction. It is possible that their projection behaviors could be helped or even healed with the right therapy, for example helping the person to remember and review events in a grounded, realistic way, gently and slowly.

Like any other form of abusive behavior, whether the person doing it is aware or not, a target's priority needs to be their own safety and that of their children and other loved ones. If and when the target is safe, then if they want to, they can seek advice and help for their projecting loved one or friend, but only with keeping their own safety in mind first and foremost.