Dependent and controlling people are very good at knocking their target out of a "dream state". We all need to have daydream visions of our future in order to make our dreams come true. It's when we're in a "zone", picturing what we want to do, where we want to go, in the here and now or in the future. It is the place in which our hearts and minds combine, where music is written, art is created, scientific discoveries are made, our best work is done, our true love blossoms. A very personal space, and yet connected to all Creation at the same time.
When a controller sees or senses that their target is in that
zone, they don't respect it and leave them to it, they try to knock them
out of it. They often go so far as to try to shame their target, as if
being in that zone is a selfish or debauched thing to be doing. They may try to humiliate their target, making fun of them for even thinking they HAVE a "zone", or that they are a good enough person to enter a zone state.
Picture the short boy or girl practicing in the gym by themselves, shooting baskets, when the varsity team shows up~
The younger sister learning how to take an engine apart and put it back together when her (insecure, arrogant) brother walks in with his friends~
The son of a gender-roled parent teaching himself how to design and make clothing ~
The son of a gender-roled parent teaching himself how to design and make clothing ~
The wife of a controlling gender-role husband working on an invention when he thinks she should be serving his needs~
The white person at an all-black church, singing his lungs out for the Lord; those who came to church to celebrate the Lord will rejoice in his singing and be happy for another Christian to join them, but the controllers will stare at him, point and make fun, and forget all about why they're in church, tell him to hush up~
The black person at an all-white church, singing his lungs out for the Lord; those who came to church to celebrate the Lord will rejoice in his singing and be happy for another Christian to join them, but the controllers will stare at him, point and make fun, and forget all about why they're in church, tell him to hush up~
The female singer at a rock or blues show, singing her lungs out, nailing every note, when the keyboard player just happens to keep hitting bad notes, but only during her songs ~
The white person at an all-black church, singing his lungs out for the Lord; those who came to church to celebrate the Lord will rejoice in his singing and be happy for another Christian to join them, but the controllers will stare at him, point and make fun, and forget all about why they're in church, tell him to hush up~
The black person at an all-white church, singing his lungs out for the Lord; those who came to church to celebrate the Lord will rejoice in his singing and be happy for another Christian to join them, but the controllers will stare at him, point and make fun, and forget all about why they're in church, tell him to hush up~
The female singer at a rock or blues show, singing her lungs out, nailing every note, when the keyboard player just happens to keep hitting bad notes, but only during her songs ~
The
trigger for their behavior is often jealousy or envy, and it can also
be a fear of loss of control over that person, or a fear of that person
finding success and subsequently abandoning them.
