A common thing that male narcissists do is condescend about anything that relates to "intellectual knowledge", especially about subjects that they think is "male oriented", like trades, sports, or business. This is because they paid attention to what they could get away with for a long time. "If I talk down to the girls at school about fixing cars, I won't get in trouble, and most of the girls don't know much about fixing cars so I can get away with it, even if I don't know what I'm talking about." (This is why they *hate* women who are knowledgeable in trades, or any other subject they think males should "own")
If you've ever witnessed two male narcissists talk about something "male oriented", it's actually amusing, they will "spar" with each other for an hour straight about a single subject. Because neither of them are actually an expert, they both keep verbally circling each other until they get tired or bored.
A common thing female narcissists do is condescend about anything that relates to "emotional knowledge" or "life advice". In the same way that male narcs. learned what they could get away with, female narcs learned that they could condescend to others with "emotional or life advice", and anything else that they think females "own", like cooking, cleaning, grooming, and child raising.
Female narcs., like male narcs, are more likely to condescend to FEMALES, because it's EASIER to get away with. Not just because the female they are targeting is less likely to bite, but because they have learned that it is unlikely that anyone else will stand up for the female against condescension or domination. So they learn that if a female target shows or expresses any emotional distress, this is an OPPORTUNITY to get a "hit" of supply. They like to call it "constructive criticism". So if a female target comes home from a terrible day at work or school, and says "I had such a bad day, this person is just so nasty to me all the time!" the narc's response will be something like (with a gleam in her eye) "YOU have to get a thicker skin!" or maybe "YOU have to learn to stand up for yourself!" or perhaps "YOU must be doing something to upset this woman!"
Their domination displays are most often put upon younger women than themselves, or smaller women than themselves, or women who's looks they envy. Narc. women will also target males, but USUALLY will only target a male who they feel they have already socially "conquered", like a husband or a family member. They will also target coworkers and subordinates. The key with female narcissists is that they know they can only get away with so much in this current culture. They are more likely than male narcs to wait and see WHO they can get away with targeting. Just like male narcs, anyone in their personal circle is a potential target.
Both male and female narcissists will use anything that they have found they can PERSONALLY get away with. And if a target does NOT "allow" them to condescend, if a target either calls them out on their condescension OR simply knows more about the actual subject than the narcissist does, the narcissist will often fly into a panic, and perhaps a rage, and then probably trash the target to anyone who will listen.
All that being said, the best way I have found personally to deal with a condescending narcissist, male or female, is to nod my head and say "oh, thank you", and then walk AWAY. I don't laugh out loud when I notice what they're doing, (anymore), I just excuse myself; I don't want to cause myself MORE stress. Having a narcissist in your life is like having a pet Grizzly bear, you can never predict their moods or behavior, and they are extremely costly to feed. It's best to leave them in the wild with their own kind.
