Why People Fear Bullies

The real reason most people put up with bullies and domination behavior is because they fear retaliation AFTER they stand up to the person. This is something children learn as they get older. Smaller children don't fear retaliation, so they stand up to other kids, and make noise when they need or want something. As children get older, they discover that when they stand up to a bully, there can be ...consequences to pay later. Either the bully will do something to "get them back", or the bully will get others to gang up on the child and HELP "get them back", or the child will be punished for standing up for him or herself by biased or ignorant adults. Bullies get away with their behavior while they're growing up because they aren't getting punished by the adults around them, obviously. If they aren't getting punished for the initial behavior, they aren't getting punished for the retaliation behavior either. So they keep doing it and doing it, further and further. To protect themselves from the retaliation behavior, people learn to turn away from bullies and let them get away with their crap, rather than stand up to them and risk the retaliation behavior, which is usually much more ridiculous than the initial bullying behavior. Bullies seem to believe they have the "right" to treat others with silly disrespect, and when no one calls them out on it, and everyone just cowtows to them because they fear retaliation from the bully or others around them, they confirm it in their heads that they do indeed possess this right, because they are (for some unknown reason) "better".

Bet Your Bippy

I would bet an honorary Doctorate degree that if six pro. actors, all of whom were previously evaluated psychologically and found to be completely stable, and all of whom were physically different in appearance: height, weight, hair, race, and sex, were admitted into 99.9% of psychiatric hospitals with the same back story changed only to accommodate gender would each be given a different diagnostic assessment, even on the same unit.

I would bet another one that no one will take me up on this bet, and yet another that someone will steal this idea.

Comfort Junkies

Most narcissistic people are really just "Comfort Junkies". They don't want to have to think, or to do something different, or to do something they don't LIKE or MIGHT not like. Talking about a certain thing is uncomfortable, admitting they did something wrong is uncomfortable, changing their schedule or their plans to accommodate or please someone else is uncomfortable. Standing up for someone else is uncomfortable, even standing up for themselves might be uncomfortable. Admitting they don't know something is uncomfortable. Helping someone in distress, empathizing, or helping someone in need is uncomfortable. Giving of themselves or their resources is uncomfortable, risking the "wrath" of someone they're used to catering to is uncomfortable. Trying harder to accomplish a certain goal is uncomfortable. Treating another better would be change and thinking, both of which are uncomfortable. Listening and understanding someone else's point of view instead of talking and arguing is uncomfortable. Trying to let go of an addiction is uncomfortable. So they're not going to do any of those things without kicking and screaming. Their tantrums are more like Linus's meltdowns when someone takes his blanket away. If they would just let him keep his blanket he'd be fine~ the problem is, Linus will never put his blanket down for anything or anyone, no how, no way. So, the blanket (the comfort, whatever that entails to the person) will always win, and any real person will always be put behind the blanket on Linus' priority list.