Bad People and Good People, Black and White Thinking

When we have "black and white thinking", we can know someone who is consistently kind, a good friend, even who is generous and giving, but the moment we have conflict with them, we see them as "Bad". Even if they were not the initiator of the conflict or actually did anything terrible; even if we were the ones who turned a small friction into a large conflict, our "black and white thinking" will turn that "Good" person into a "Bad" person, with really very little provocation.
Swinging from seeing another person as "Good" or "Bad" is a symptom of more than one disorder, and can also be a result of abuse.
The moment the other person seems more powerful than us, or if we envy them or feel jealous, we can do this as well. To a "black and white thinker", other people are either doing what pleases us, and therefore they are "Good", or they are not doing what pleases us, and therefore they are "Bad". Memory of the person's character does not factor in, nor does memory of the entire history of the person's behavior or actions. This type of thinking will simply delete any memories that don't confirm the EMOTIONAL reaction and judgment of "Good" or "Bad".
For example, a person who has been a great friend, who has stuck by us in times of trouble or tragedy, who has shown support time and time again, will be seen suddenly as a "Bad" person the moment a conflict erupts, regardless of what the conflict is about, or how small. This person may have weathered many storms caused by the black and white thinker, but all of these are simply forgotten and dismissed the moment the black and white thinker feels upset with this person. The actual facts of the conflict are often not factored in either, for example the black and white thinker may have said something to hurt the other, and the other is simply reacting with normal objection and emotion. Or the black and white thinker may even feel angry because the other is dealing with something very painful or difficult, and therefore can not be fully available. Black and white thinkers often feel accused when another is asking for information, or asking direct questions that others would not find offensive, and this may trigger them to turn on the asker.
Whatever the circumstances, black and white thinkers do not factor in real history, only bits and pieces that back up their judgment of "Good" or "Bad". Everything else is pushed aside. They do not maintain an overall respect and good will for the other person either, so any conflict changes their entire assessment of the other person. One minute the other person is "Good", acceptable, even wonderful, and the next the other person is "Bad", and unacceptable. When a person is suddenly assessed as "Bad", all evidence to the contrary is ignored and dismissed. The black and white thinker believes their own emotional reactions as objective fact, and has no interest in reviewing or rechecking their real history or evidence. (In other words, there is no way to show them anything that would help them see a larger picture, they will just shut the conversation down. They are only interested in trying to prove that the person is indeed "Bad", or "Good".)
This black and white thinking can be clearly seen in cults and politics, when people will rationalize a cult leader as "All Good And Wonderful" regardless of what he or she is really doing, or a political leader as "Good And Benevolent" or even a "savior"; no matter what this political leader does, his followers will continue to "believe in him", and simply argue with anyone who does not agree, or who talks about anything he has done wrong. These followers will also assess his political opposition as "All Bad", and often try to degrade anything they say or do.
In friendships, family, relationships, and business, schools, and communities, this kind of black and white thinking can be very destructive, and can cause real damage in people's lives. (Becoming aware of our own tendency to think in black and white is the way to thwarting it. We can learn to think more objectively, and be not so willing to put others on pedestals, or throw them under a bus.)

Control Personalities' Personal Solar System

A person with a Control Personality sees the world and the people in it like the swirl of a solar system.

To the Control Person, people are either Suns, or planets that revolve around Suns.
The Control Person is the center, like the sun,... and everything and everyone spins around them. The Control Person is the center of their solar system, and everyone else is seen as good if they are spinning in the right direction, keeping the Control Person's world/system in order and comfortable. Or, if they are not spinning around the Control Person and keeping him or her comfortable, they are seen as bad, or alien, or enemy.
This means that anyone close enough to the Control Person, like the planets closest to the sun, has to turn and spin in a specific way, because the "sun", or the Control Person, feels the gravitational effect.
Since the Control Person sees their own self as the center of the system, he or she can be extremely sensitive to any movement of the planets, or people, spinning around him or her, and may react harshly to one of them spinning in their own direction.
The Control Person sees the people in his or her life, and the world, as members of HIS or HER system.
Just like the solar system, with the sun being its center. If a planet in our solar system went out of orbit, or began to spin in a new direction, our solar system would change. If a person in the Control Person's system decides they want to do something on their own, or different, or something away from the system, the Control Person may become very upset and try to stop them, and if they can't stop them, they may become angry because they feel betrayed, abandoned, or disrespected. They may try to punish with aggression, reputation assault, or ostracism. In other words, if a person is not orbiting the Control Person, they are considered a threat, like an asteroid.
The Control Person simply can't see the other person as a free-floating person who is not bound to someone else's system. He or she does not see their own self as free-floating either.
To the Control Person, people are either Suns, or planets that revolve around Suns.
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