Blaming... everything that happens has to be someone's fault, or something someone did wrong - either "on purpose", or because the blamed person is "incompetent or stupid".
"Blaming" is a form of domination and control, and also a way to deflect accountability.
Most people who habitually blame also target specific people to dump blame on. This has a double-agenda: to get out of admitting to their own mistake, AND to create or reinforce negative judgment and negative image onto a certain person.
~When they can't find their keys, it must be because SUSAN took them. (Even if Susan has never taken anything that belonged to anyone else in her life.)
~If there's no milk, it must be because JOHN drank it all and didn't replace it instantaneously.
John is pretty much always to blame... he's the scapegoat; everyone in the group blames John when anything is amiss, no matter how trivial; or even when NOTHING is amiss.
John left the shovel out the other day, he forgot to put it away when he was finished, so that just proves that John is a lazy, untrustworthy, air-headed loser... Funny though that when anyone else forgets to put the shovel away, it's no big deal... and it's because they were so tired from working... or because they were distracted by something important... or because ... because... but not so for John, there's no "reason" that's valid for him. Something as trivial as leaving the shovel out indicates his ENTIRE CHARACTER as "BAD".
(And then someone in the group will say "But it's not just that.. John is always doing stuff like that.." And apparently, "stuff like that" indicates bad character. Forgetting to put the shovel away, finishing the milk without running immediately out to replace it, such gigantic, terrible things OBVIOUSLY indicate that John is a terrible person... regardless of anything else about him, including his volunteer work at the animal shelter, his job as a caregiver, his helpfulness with the children in the family...etc.
And projecting this kind of damaging JUDGMENT onto him apparently is perfectly innocent...?!?
In traffic, people who blame seem oblivious to their own driving mistakes and habits. They'll blame everyone else on the road for any kind of "problems" that they have, but completely dismiss anything that they're doing wrong.
If someone in front of them is doing the speed limit, and they want to go faster, they'll BLAME the person in front of them for "slowing them down", and may do things like ride the person's bumper (two forms of domination: blame, and bullying.) It doesn't occur to them apparently that there is a reason for the speed limit, for example a residential road, or curves, or a high accident rate, etc. They also seem to believe that because THEY want to break the speed limit, that everyone else should CATER to them, so that driver in front of them is doing something "wrong" by doing the speed limit.
Blamers tend to BREAK RULES in order to feel powerful and "outside the law" or the rules, but they will ENFORCE those laws and rules on OTHER PEOPLE.
So if the person in front of them was breaking the speed limit, they would probably notice, and call them "reckless". THEY'RE not "reckless" when THEY speed, OR when they ride a person's bumper, but OTHER people are when THEY speed.
They're not consistent or objective; they are ALWAYS SUBJECTIVE. They "change the rules" according to what their current agenda is, and according to WHO is involved.
Blamers will place blame for anything and everything, in ANY situation.
They will place JUDGMENT on others for anything and everything.
They continuously scan for excuses to place both judgment and blame on others (especially when they've chosen a person or group to target).
Blamers tend to group people together in order to place blame and judgment on the whole group (poor people, rich people, women, men, blonde haired people, black people, Asians, white people, attractive people, "successful" people, homeless people, all Christians, all Muslims, all Jews, all non-main-religion people, all members of a political party, all doctors, all gov. employees, all teachers, all parents, all teenagers, all elderly people, all French people, all rock musicians, etc. etc.)
From personal interactions, to their business interactions, to community issues, to their place of business, to the medical community, to the government, everything is always SOMEONE'S "FAULT". And on top of that, that "someone" is NEVER THEMSELVES.
Nothing outside themselves is ever something that just happened, an innocent mistake or overlook, a well-intentioned wrong decision.
They will DEFLECT BLAME about anything and everything, when they actually are "to blame".
Control, avoidance of accountability, and domination.
Strangely, a lot of blamers end up in positions of control and power, both in personal/social groups, and in business.
Most people seem unaware of what the person is really doing, and often respond as if the person is more responsible and knowledgeable than others, but likely the real reason for their response is just fear of being targeted for blame, and also wanting to be on the side of the bully so they can participate in dominating someone else (scapegoating).
