Anxiety, Depression, and Feeling Ineffective

Feeling "ineffective" is one of the contributors to anxiety and depression.

One feels like they aren't really capable of contributing, of helping, of making a difference, of achieving, of building, of success, or of affecting positive change, either for themselves or others.

Projecting "incapable" and "ineffective" onto a Target is a behavior found in Narcissistic abuse.

Freedom Of Speech


Six Things You Should Quit To Be More Successful

Be Who You IS : Recovery

A large part of Recovery is learning to "be yourself", either again or for the first time, and do what makes you "you", regardless of the lack of acknowledgement, praise, approval, or even basic courtesy and respect from people around you.

They don't seem to like that you love to play music, do it anyway.
YOU love to play music, that's what's important.

They don't seem to like you going to back to college? Do it anyway. Learning more about what you're interested in is a healthy interest and activity.

They don't like your career pursuits? (crime or putting others in danger notwithstanding)  Do it anyway. You are the one who is living your one and precious life, not them.

They don't seem to like or approve of your caring for children, animals, "the needy", abuse victims, or the ill or handicapped? Do it anyway. They apparently don't share or understand your compassion, so what, you probably don't understand their LACK of compassion or care, either. It's your life, do what you need to do, what you want to do, what you feel is right.

They don't like your skills, hobbies, or interests because it doesn't line up with their expectations of you as a man, or you as a woman? Or you as whatever your body type and size is, or your race, or your coloring?
DO PROTECT yourself from narcissistic behavior such as sabotage, threats, and attack, because it's common for Narcissists to actually feel threatened by those who don't abide by their biased expectations toward race, sex, or even body type.
(They want the behavior to match their expectations of others based on the way a person looks; if it doesn't, they can actually feel threatened and react. Don't let this STOP YOU from being your authentic self. Just have awareness. If you feel threatened, remember it's about THEM, not you, and you can feel justified in leaving their "reach" or seeking allies so you can continue pursuing your interests.)

They try to shut down your voice, your expression, your opinion? Do it anyway, and maybe do it louder and more clearly.
Ask yourself this: do they try to ridicule or shut down anyone else's 'voice'? How would they react if you, or someone else, did or said the same things to them?
We all make mistakes in judgment, and none of us know everything, in fact most of us know very little~
so there is NO ONE who's voice, opinion, and observations will be "correct" all the time, no matter how LOUD they talk, or how successful, wealthy, or famous they are. If they're not getting "shut down", then there's no validity to shutting you down, even if something you said wasn't "perfect".
(All you need to do is read many famous song lyrics to drive this point home. Listening to the radio (DJ's and talk radio hosts), and watching a LOT of television shows also demonstrates this point very clearly.)

Learning to BE OURSELVES regardless of the reactions, lack of acknowledgement, lack of approval or even attempts to stop us is a very important part of Recovery.

"Be who you is, cuz if you be what you ain't, then you ain't what you is."

About Diagnoses, Human Health, Psychiatry, and Compartmentalization

The medical science that deals with the nervous system and disorders affecting it.

The branch of medicine that deals with the diagnosis, treatment, and prevention of mental and emotional disorders.

an·thro·pol·o·gy  (nthr-pl-j)
1. The scientific study of the origin, the behavior, and the physical, social, and cultural development of humans.

psy·chol·o·gy  (s-kl-j)
n. pl. psy·chol·o·gies
1. The science that deals with mental processes and behavior.
2. The emotional and behavioral characteristics of an individual, group, or activity

med·i·cine  (md-sn)
a. The science of diagnosing, treating, or preventing disease and other damage to the body or mind.
b. The branch of this science encompassing treatment by drugs, diet, exercise, and other nonsurgical means.

One may wonder why these five things are not automatically cooperatively tied together when diagnosing and testing a patient. And one would be right to wonder.

Don't blame all doctors, therapists, or scientists; many of them wonder the same thing.

Many feel frustrated, and feel like their "hands are tied", how does one keep one's career intact and fight political and control agendas at the same time?

Political agendas have a lot to do with it, as does the arrogance and ignorance of certain individuals in several related or connected fields, including insurance, administration, and government, and not excluding colleges and universities.

The science of treating the health of a human being can not and should not be compartmentalized as if all the fields are isolated and not related to one another. That would be like building a rocket or a space shuttle with each contributor, each specialty, each engineer, each physicist, each administrator, and each scientist NOT collaborating or communicating, cooperating, or comparing notes with one another, simply working on their own "thing" in isolation, or just barely communicating with one another, and then expecting the shuttle to just WORK.  
That would be insane, terribly dangerous, and a huge waste of time and money. The odds of the rocket or shuttle being constructed properly and safely would be nil.

Even building a small house is a cooperative effort between all of the specialized subcontractors.

Investigations into something that went "wrong" in either a shuttle OR a house is also a cooperative effort; you don't JUST investigate the plumbing, or JUST the electrical system. And then if there's nothing wrong there, just claim that there's nothing wrong at all (while the floor caves in or a fire starts in a wall.)

If a person is diagnosed with "Borderline Personality Disorder", for example, how many neurological tests using the latest equipment and knowledge were conducted BEFORE they were put on serious medication, or given ECT (shock) treatments?

Was their family dynamic fully investigated and reviewed? Their medical records, their full history?

What about the rest of their physical health? Were they fully examined? (Were they given one of those superficial 'exams' where their heartbeat and lungs were listened to and their basic vitals taken, but nothing further?)

Was anything at all investigated before the patient was given the diagnosis, besides a couple of visits to a psychologist or psychiatrist?
Or are they being stamped with a stigmatic label, given serious medication, and/or given shock treatments based on less real information than a person would have to give to obtain a mortgage?

HOW MUCH investigation was done on the patient, the patient's environment both physical and human, the patient's overall physical health, the patient's cultural upbringing and ancestry, and the patient's full history, BEFORE the diagnosis and treatment?

(Implying that any person who is not a professional psychiatrist, neurologist, medical doctor or government official has no right to ask these questions, and has no idea what they're talking about, IS, actually, a Narcissistic defensive reaction, as is coming up with justifications for the way things are. The health and life of an individual Human Being is much, much more important than administrative hurtles, professional reputations, the career trajectory of an individual, a person's ego and identity as an Expert, poltical and government agendas, or the money a person, an institution, or a company makes.)

About Narcissism In General

Those with Narcissism don't try to make, maintain, or repair connections with others unless they're motivated by gain or fear. The concern for another's well-being, for no other reason than the person's well-being, is not in their schedule.

Nor is protecting another, helping another, standing up for another, or supporting another, for any reason other than their own gain or defense.

Many who are afflicted with Narcissism for whatever reason will project their own perceptions and motives onto others, apparently believing that everyone has the same self-serving-based agenda, and that no one is genuinely altruistic or empathetic, and that everyone is always motivated only by gain or fear.
Ironically, without the ability empathize, they are not able to imagine having a different point of view than their own, or that it's possible to have a different point of view than their own and not be "crazy" or "wrong".

The ability to empathize has been linked to specific grey matter areas in the brain, and the presence of "mirror neurons'. So technically, a lack of mirror neurons in a person's brain is neurological, not psychiatric, and should be taken much more seriously by the larger scientific and medical community.
BUT, probably won't be, since the goals of Narcissists within science and medicine are often to occupy positions of authority and control. In other words, a Narcissist who gains the power to divert or shut down research on the neurology of Narcissism would, of course, do just that, to protect themselves.

Normal Frustration Reaction Or Something Deeper

There are a lot of people who don't display traits or behaviors that seem dysfunctional, abusive, or Narcissistic until they're in a situation that "tests" their ability to empathize, care for others, or be responsible for someone or something. Many of us who have anxiety issues are aware of a similar issue; no anxiety at all, calm confidence and even-keeled focus until we find ourselves suddenly dealing with a certain situation or circumstance.
For most of us, fortunately, we can heal our 'dysfunctions' or 'issues' when we find out that we have them, and often a situation that we find difficult to deal with is just a matter of our needing more experience or understanding.
But for some people, the behaviors and 'issues' that seem to suddenly appear when they're dealing with a specific situation is not simply an emotional or anxious reaction to difficulty that will get better when they get a handle on themselves or on the situation. Rage and aggression toward others, cruelty, deliberate sabotage, deliberate slander or libel, threatening another with bodily harm, removal of another person's shelter or resources, restriction of another adult's freedom, physically restraining or controlling another adult, aggression toward a child, elder, or ill, injured, or 'handicapped' person, or deliberate abandonment are some of the behaviors that are not simply 'emotional reactions' to difficulty or frustration. The reasons behind these behaviors vary, but they aren't just 'frustration'. They're signals that there is something deeper going on with the person.
We should not, however, jump to conclusions about what the person's "issues" actually are. What looks like PTSD at first could turn out to be brain damage, or what we think is Narcissism could turn out to be PTSD, etc., etc.  What we can do, however, is make sure that we are safe, and that others around the person are safe, especially children, elderly people, and anyone else who might not be able to defend themselves against the person's behaviors.
When we're sure we're safe, then we can contact professional physicians, psychologists, or psychiatrists about the person's behaviors, (preferably a person whom we already know and trust to be objective, professional, helpful and competent.)

Hypocrisy Vs. Stupidity

'Hypocrisy' is when a husband whines at his wife for spending the same amount of money on wine as he spends on beer.

'Stupidity' is when the husband buys into believing that because she's a woman, she's not going to like the beer.

'Hypocrisy' is when a female employer who 'fought sexism to get to the top' only hires women she doesn't think are attractive, and men she is attracted to.

'Stupidity' is when that female employer thinks that no one noticed.

'Hypocrisy' is when a person who protests racism treats only members of his or her own race with respect, decency, and courtesy.

'Stupidity' is when that person thinks there's nothing hypocritical about their behavior.

'Hypocrisy' is when a religion calls for humility as the cornerstone of its belief system, and then builds a hierarchy with positions of status, and calls the members of one race or sex 'superior' over others.

'Stupidity' is the failure to make the connection about why it's hypocritical, or why hypocrisy matters.