How You Need To Heal

How you need to heal is how you need to heal.
If you're worried about what you're doing to heal, that it might not be helping, then just look at it objectively again, and look at where you are.
Sometimes we need to do a certain thing for a while in order to get from A to B. When we've reached B, we might not need that walking stick anymore. Maybe there's a different walking stick, or maybe there's a bench.
The one thing we can rely on is that there's always another letter.. we got from A to B in our recovery, so we sat on the bench because it was exhausting. Then we walked from B to C, and noticed how beautiful the flowers there were, and it lifted our spirits. Then we went to D, and it was grey and dismal, and it felt like we were going to be trapped there, until something made us jump, and we got out of there and ended up at E... which was lovely, and we met a new friend there.
Whatever it took for us to get from one point to the next is what it took.
Sometimes when we get to the next letter, we look at one of our walking sticks and we realize it's been making us limp, or giving us blisters, or even giving us poison Ivy, but we didn't know why we were feeling like crap until that moment we realized it was that one stick. So that's the point we noticed it, and that's fine. So we don't need or want it anymore and we just throw it in the woods.

There's another one if we need it, they're all over the place.

Then we get to F and it's crappy again, and it seems like everything is crappy, and we're stuck here forever, and the journey has been for nothing.
Then... eventually... the sun rises, the clouds part, a good song comes on the radio, and we remember that we're on a journey, and that we've never been to G, it might be fantastic.
It also might suck.
But if it sucks, then there's always H... I... J... K...

And when we do get to Z, we start a new alphabet, one that we don't even know about yet, because we have yet to see it. 

It's Not You, It's Them

If a person seems bored when you talk, don't assume it's about you. Are they happy when they get to talk, and tell you all their stories? There are a lot of people who are bored when other people talk, even annoyed. They usually have certain people who they'll listen to with rapt attention, but it's not because of what those people SAY, it's because of what those people REPRESENT to them. If you watch, you'll see the pattern. They probably only really listen to certain people who are on TV or Radio, or who are famous or well-known for something else. They're not bored with you because you're BORING, they're bored when you talk because you're not a celebrity, and they don't see you as "An Important Person". It's got nothing to do with you; it's a celebrity fixation. They are getting a neurochemical reward when they "listen to" people who are on some kind of stage, and who others listen to as well. (If you ask them about it they will probably deny it or feel embarrassed; no need; it's not about changing them, it's just about what's happening.)

Another common pattern is people who only listen to people who remind them of PARENTAL FIGURES. That can look like anything, but the usual pattern is someone who is taller, someone who has a "mature" look to their face and body, someone who dresses neatly or expensively, and people who's voice sounds "decisive" or "confident". None of those things mean ANYTHING real about a person, but they LOOK LIKE "parental figures" or even "teachers" from a child's point of view. Adults often retain this fixed point of view, no matter how smart and mature they seem otherwise. So basically, if your appearance, your height, your voice, and your face does not remind them of a PARENT, TEACHER, or other authority figure from their childhood, they will probably NOT listen to you or take you seriously. That's not "YOU", that's THEM. It's a fixed, immature point of view. You could have two PhDs in Botany Biology, and they would ignore what you say about their orchids, but listen to their neighbor about it who's never raised orchids in her life, just because she's tall and dresses a certain way. (If she has flattered them at any point, that's even more reward for them; most kids love it when the teacher gives them extra positive attention or praise.)

Another reason they get bored or antsy when it's YOU talking, or sharing information, and not them, is because they just want you to be their audience and/or their support, they don't want to have to give it BACK. They're the kid who always wants to play the same character in the game of Pretend...

"I get to be the rock star, and you be the audience!"
"But you were the rock star last time! And the time before that!"
"I get to be the rock star, or I don't wanna play."
"...okay...fine... but next time, I get to be the rock star..."

Of course when next time comes, that kid will squirm and act bored so you feel uncomfortable playing the "rock star", so you give up, and then that kid gets what he/she wanted in the first place: "Either I get to be the rock star, or I don't wanna play."
Funny how it doesn't occur to a lot of us to just dump that kid because they're not a good friend, they give us more stress than friendship. Maybe we were told to be "more understanding" of the kid when we complained about it to an adult.

And yet another reason why they don't seem to listen to you or have interest in what you say or do, don't remember important things about you, or don't seem to care about how disrespectfully they treat you, is because they have internalized BIASES, or fixed stereotypes and gender role issues.
SO... for example...only ONE SEX gets to tell stories, the other one is boring when they tell stories.
Only ONE SEX gets to be knowledgeable, the other doesn't know what they're talking about.
ONE SEX gets believed WAY TOO MUCH, and the other sex gets dismissed and disbelieved all the time.
ONE SEX gets to be "LEADER", and the other sex is just "trying to boss people around" whenever they don't act submissively, or even when they are the ACTUAL "boss" of a company.
ONE SEX gets to be "funny", the other sex is not "allowed" to be funny, and any jokes or cracks they make will be ignored, unrecognized, called "dumb", or "over their head".
If they have SEX BIAS and prejudice, they probably ALSO have other internalized biases and stereotypes based on the appearances and bodies of other people (like race, weight, height, etc.)
AGAIN, it's not YOU, it's THEM.

There are other reasons that a person will seem bored and annoyed when you talk that are more about their mental, physical, and emotional health than their maturity or personality. Like when someone is dealing with trauma or serious anxiety, they really want and need to be heard, so much that they just don't have the capacity to be a "listener".
To put it in perspective, a person who just got fired is probably not going to be in any shape to LISTEN to someone else's problems, but they're going to need someone to listen to them, to be their friend, who won't interrupt them, give them "advice", or divert the conversation back to themselves when they TELL their STORY about what happened. They need to tell their story, and be listened to, and heard. Getting fired from one job might not be a big deal to one person, but getting fired from another job might be quite traumatic for someone else.
A person could be on medication, or could be suffering from dementia, or could be scared, or have severe anxiety or depression, or have chronic or severe pain, or have a health issue.

Whatever it is, when people seem BORED when you talk, annoyed when you talk, don't remember things you say or things about you, or when they don't take you seriously (regardless of your experience or knowledge),  it's USUALLY THEIR "ISSUE", it's not about YOU. They're not giving you accurate feedback, they're reacting according to issues they have, from within themselves.

Maybe the next time someone treats you like you're boring or inexperienced, or apparently not interesting or important enough to treat respectfully, don't just notice it as far as your feelings go; take it another step further, and assess THEM and THEIR state of "boringness", instead of allowing the apparent "assessment" to be directed only at YOU. (If they're assessing you as "boring" or "not boring", "annoying" or "not annoying", isn't it only right and fair that you should return the favor?)

Will I Get Treated Better When I'm Successful?

No matter WHAT a person accomplishes, the Narcissists in their life will behave as if it's 'nothing'. They wiil continue to simply NOT acknowledge the person, their efforts, skill, talent, work, or their achievements, big or small.

If there is a Narcissist in the life of any famous, very successful, or "genius" person you can think of, you can bet they're treating them the same way. (With the exception of Narcissists who are trying to get something from them with flattery.)

Real friends are real friends, no matter how poor or rich, how famous or unknown we are, or how much success we have seen (or not).

"What's that? You won something? Oh for that little movie you made, haha, what was it called? Star something... you had some kind of giant teddy bear thing in it, right? And that guy with the mask, yeah my friend Bob makes masks like that, only his are really detailed... So I took my car into the shop today and I'm gonna need you to give me a ride when they call... What party.. what do you mean an award ceremony, why can't they just mail it to you? No I don't wanna dress up for a stupid party...I'm not paying for a cab, just make sure you're around today, I'm sure the party can wait."