Your Negativity Drags Me Down...

Narcissists presume themselves to be the ones who are innocent of any wrongdoing or lack, and identify themselves as the beleaguered, burdened ones who are having to deal with the negativity of others, being "dragged down" by the whining and self-pity of other people.
At no time do they consider that they have done anything, ever, to contribute to the plight, "attitude", or "negativity" of another person. It's always the other person's "fault".

The average narcissistic person is absorbed in protecting and shining their own image and ego, and protecting their status within the groups that they're a part of, or wish to be a part of. When another member of the group "falls down" for any reason, that person can STAY down as far as the narcissist is concerned, because that means that person is now lower in "status", which means the narcissist is automatically now higher than them. The fact that the hierarchy and status is real ONLY to those who buy into it does not cross their minds. 

So, when another member of the group "falls down" for any reason at all, *(including illness, injury, loss, tragedy, trauma from attack or abuse, and problems caused by attack, abuse, slander or sabotage), the narcissistic people in the group will not only deny that they had anything to do with it to protect their own skin, but they will also point the finger at the person who has fallen down (or was pushed), casting blame on them.

The blame casting is simply to CREATE an excuse for not helping the person BACK UP. Most of the narcissists in the group want the person to stay "down", they don't want them to recover and get back up, and again be a "competitor" for status and resources.

The narcissist lives inside of competition; they see everything a a competition, and they FEAR "losing". They tend to see everything as "win or lose", which is part of the "black and white" perception pattern. They do not comprehend "big picture" concepts because they can't SEE them.
"United we stand divided we fall" is confusing to them, because they don't understand why they would use their own resources, energy, or time to be supportive of someone else, unless supporting that person meant a "gain" for themselves.
"A rising tide lifts all ships" is a foreign concept.
"To give is to receive" is taken in a literal, material way; more like "if I give to someone, they should give something back to me."
They can't understand what "All for one and one for all" means, except if the "one" is themselves or a favored person.

Basically, the average narcissist's main focus is his or her own "status" in whatever group they are in, because it means more control, more power over others, more positive attention, more credit, and more access to resources. So anyone who does not buy into either their "high status", or the whole hierarchy illusion, is a threat, and anyone who they feel challenged by, intimidated by, or envious of in any way is a threat. So when another member of the group "falls down", ESPECIALLY if they were in any way a threat in the narcissists' mind, they will NOT help them, and they will probably contribute to keeping them down.

If they were among those who knocked them down in the first place, the odds are high that they will try hard to keep them down. 

~(Sociopaths may only care about their "status" because they ARE aware of the hierarchy illusion, and they know that maintaining an image of "high status" means they can make a lot more headway in any CON game they're playing. They will go along with, and even encourage, the shared fantasy. They can be very adept at knocking others down and keeping them down, because they know the game from an intellectual point of view; they're "playing" it. However, most average narcissists actually believe that the hierarchy is a real thing, and are actually trying to maintain or raise their "status" because they believe it's part of reality.) (Which accounts for much of their  behavior as they grow older, that another person would have matured out of.) 

Tough Guy, or Fitting In?

Acting like a "tough person",  or a "self-righteous person" is a behavior that human beings adapt when they're in an unsafe atmosphere, surrounded by hostile people.
Most other animals do the same thing; when they feel threatened, they puff up their bodies, stomp the ground, make noise, change colors, and excrete poison or venom; it's to frighten who or whatever is threatening to them, and appear dominant.

After enough time has passed, a person can internalize this behavior and convince themselves it's part of their real personality, as if that's how they were born. However countless studies and observations over many cultures show that human beings tend to adapt to their environment, whether it's GOOD for them or NOT.

The subconscious human mind takes on the general traits of the people around them in order to fit in, so they don't get "shunned" and have to survive on their own. The more hostile the environment, the more aggressive the person becomes in order to appear "tough enough", like the others. It's like everyone has to wear the same armor in order to fit in with their group; those who are wearing a different color, or no armor, get shunned.

"Acting tough" has nothing to do with the natural, organic environment one lives and works in; it's the human interaction that one has to deal with every day that influences a person to change themselves into "one of the tough people" or "one of the righteous people".

When we fit in, we don't get singled out.

Most people don't even know they're doing it, because it's a subconscious process. But the proof is in the pudding. It's the same process from which regional accents and dialects come from. People from the same region even "like" the same food and wear similar clothes. (We think we're being unique when we buy a different brand of blue jeans, or a different kind of flannel shirt, or slightly different boots.)

It's nothing to be ashamed of, but it can help a person have a better life if they become aware of it.