More Narcissism Understood: M. Evans

"Narcissism is a grave condition of insecurity and desperately feeling unloved and unacceptable. An individual with Narcissistic Personality Disorder inherently believes they are ‘damaged goods’ and fears other individuals will discover the truth: that they feel powerless. Thus the narcissist invests a great deal of energy into ‘gaining the upper hand’, to hide feeling vulnerable, insecure and broken. When they are getting what they want, the charm is flowing and plentiful. When the charm doesn’t work the intimidation begins. Narcissism is categorised as an unhealthy level of self-absorption and a lack of empathy regarding how their insecure, aggressive and damaging behaviour affects the world around them.
Sadly, when many women realise that the narcissist is insecure and isn’t reassured, she’ll try harder to love him. Additionally he’ll blame his behaviour on something that you are or aren’t doing, and as women we may try to ‘do it better’ or ‘get it right’. Your increased efforts to love him and make him happy only lines you up for more abuse. "

>>>(From me:)  The person who has Narcissism pretty much got stuck at a childhood stage when something happened to him or her, so this personality issue is not difficult to understand if one can remember what a lot of children are like, before they develop the ability to empathize with other people. Before they learn to include others in their thoughts, actions, and plans. Before they learn to think about HOW they are reacting. Before they learn about how to treat others, and WHY, and before they learn that other people, regardless of their race or gender, are just as real and important as themselves. Remember the little boys on the local baseball team? Remember how they were trying to be "men", by trying to act tough and trying to boss people around? Including adults, like their mothers, seeing how far they could go? Confusing self-confidence with superiority. And remember that their displays of frustration and anger were still very childlike, and they would react in a mean, tantrum way if they didn't get what they wanted? Remember how they would have one kid as a friend one day, and ditch that kid the next day, because a "tougher" kid wanted to play? And made up excuses for their inconsiderate and self-centered behavior, trying to justify it? Remember how they would break the rules, or do something mean, and believe that saying "I'm sorry" or giving a present actually erased the misdeed, and fixed all the damage they caused, so they didn't learn not to do it again, or why? Remember how, when they were caught doing something wrong, they would try to shrug off accountability by accusing someone else of doing something wrong too? ("Jimmy, you hit your brother, you are grounded." "Yeah but he hit me last week!" "Yes, and he was grounded for it." "It's not fair!" "How is that not fair?" "Because, he was bothering me, that's why I hit him!"...) That's the age that the narcissist is stuck. They are stuck in the snapshot of that age. The trauma could have been anything, something you wouldn't even consider.
People can and do grow out of that stage, naturally, in a healthy environment, with supportive adults. But take those factors away; healthy environment, supportive adults; and you get a kid who has to raise himself. If a person with this issue seeks help for it, and gets the right help, they can recover. The biggest obstacle is the fact that the person will probably kick and scream at the thought of "getting help", or of facing that there is anything "wrong" with them at all. Children do not feel immature, or developmentally halted. They feel as if they are at the pinnacle of maturity, no matter what age they are at. And so does a person who is stuck in childhood. The good news for an adult narcissist is that he is not a child, and so his maturity would go much, much faster, since he has actually lived through years of life. He has a wealth of experience to draw from. It's his getting to the help that is the problem, and being able to face it.
>>>If he can't, then he will remain at that age for the rest of his life, tragically. He will remain at an age where he does not find joy in supporting others, where he does not want to "sit down and watch" his sister play baseball, but wants her to go away so he can have the spotlight and have everyone only clap for him; where he believes that he is superior, and he belongs to the group that is the most superior and who have authority over others; where he believes that all the presents should be for him, and all the pity, and all the applause, and all the understanding and sympathy, and therefore does not have any for anyone else; where he gets bored listening to someone else's stories and opinions very quickly, and will always try to bring the conversation back to his own point of view, and if he can't he will sulk, whine, attack, cause a distraction, or leave; where he becomes hurt or angry if everything he does is not applauded by people he ignores and dismisses; where he can not put down his own troubles, OR accomplishments, in order to support someone else for any length of time; where he really believes that his is better than others, or more put-upon than others, or smarter than others, or has more potential than others, has more important things to do than others, or suffers more than others, and therefore deserves special treatment, and that they do not. 
>>>If he can, then he can recover.