Other Women

Don't confuse women your husband gawks at and sexualizes with women who engage and encourage his behavior. One is not the same as the other, they are two very different things. No woman is responsible for a man's behavior, or another woman's behavior, and no person has to allow another person to treat them so disrespectfully, whether she is the woman being stared at and sexualized, or the woman being betrayed.

A betraying husband, whether he's cheating, disrespectful, or abusive, is in breach of contract. Marriage is a real contract, and if there are problems between the contractees, then counseling and resolution becomes a priority, just like any other real contract. If one of the two refuses to seek for resolution within the relationship, then they are again in breach. There has never been a contract where both parties were not required to be present and accountable when seeking resolution to issues between them.
For some reason few human beings seem mature or aware enough to grasp what marriage is and take it seriously, and they end up in all kinds of legal mess with their children paying for it. A responsible person enters in a contract with full awareness of what they're voluntarily agreeing to, and what is expected of both parties.

And remember all of the same for and about yourself. You are bound under the same contract as your husband. There are not two versions of the contract, one for him and one for you, there is only one.

Nice Guys Finish Last, But Not Always

"Women share more stories about others, not so much themselves, than men do. Their stories that are about themselves will more often include other people or animals. Women also share information and observations that originated from others, not themselves, more often than men.

The reasons are more social, and less biological.
Both women and men are more prone to willingly accept and listen to first person stories from most men (about themselves), accept the story at face value (don't doubt the story), and don't judge men nearly as much or as easily about whether this is a self-centered behavior. When a woman does this, (even if she were to tell the same story in the same way to the same people), she will often be given social signals that convey disinterest, annoyance, and even the implication of personal rejection.

Both women and men are also more prone to willingly accept and listen to information and advice from men than from women, regardless of the person's actual experience or knowledge.

Both women and men are also more prone to accept condescension and disrespectful speech, tone, and behavior from men, and even make excuses for them.

Both women and men are more prone to expect very different, extremely pleasant, sweet, and accommodating social displays from women, and will much more quickly and severely judge a woman negatively for the absence of this behavior.

Both women and men are more prone to judge men negatively for positive, sunny, gender-neutral or effeminate mannerisms and behavior.

Both women and men will dole out negative social consequences when a woman or a man does not comply with whatever gender-social-behavior they as a group feel comfortable with.

Both women and men will tailor those expected social behaviors even further for each individual, according to superficial physical traits of each person.

It is negative social consequences, along with certain positive reinforcement (but fewer positives than negatives) that trains younger children to comply with gender roles and behavior, and also to comply with whatever "status position" the group has chosen for the individual, which is based on superficial traits, not on the person's actual capabilities, intelligence, or motivations and intentions (as much as we would like to believe that's what it's about). (It's why "nice girls and boys finish last" is such a common lament.)

Sometimes a person who has been accepted, or has the potential to be accepted as a higher status person because of possessing certain superficial traits is also actually knowledgeable, wise, creative and capable. They can become what people would call a "Good Leader" because they can flourish, grow, and be themselves within a Leadership position. This rare occurrence in human groups can facilitate wonderful change, because the people in the group will not rebel against every move the person makes, and dismiss and counter everything the person says, since they've already accepted the person as a "leader". It is good and rare for human groups to have a Leader whom they both accept AND who is actually well-intentioned, humble, and capable, with healthy vision. The fact that humans (both men and women) follow more often than lead is simply biological, so a genuinely "good" leader can make a very big impact just with their presence and example, just like a "bad" leader would make a very big negative impact.
One is more like sunshine and rainwater on a field of wild flowers, the other is like a meteor landing in that same field.

M.M.Black 2013