Patriarchy

Ever wonder why everyone seems to think there 

HAS TO BE 

either a 

Patriarchy or a Matriarchy?

Can't anyone think outside their childhood imprinting?

Does Illness And Hardship Mean Entitlement?

There are some people who will attribute elevated status and power to their having a physical illness or disability, as if it makes them somehow privileged, special, and above reproach. Not all people or just anyone who has a physical infirmity do this, just those who exhibit certain traits or emotional "dysregulation". They seem to buy into a belief that their illness or disability makes them superior to others, and gives them the right to demand and command, and that others should put them, their needs and their whims above all else. This person has the capacity to use anything at all to claim superiority and demand special treatment. Before they were ill or disabled, they were probably using something else to claim special privilege. They may have believed they were entitled to special treatment for reasons ranging from their height, their ancestry, their sex, their wealth or lack thereof, their certificates and diplomas, their job, their talent, their reputation, others in their family that have wealth, fame or "status", the size of certain body parts (both males and females), even the car they drive, the house they live in, the shape of their face, the clothes they wear, or their pets. (They were most likely exposed to this behavior by someone else as a child.)

They may have already been using past traumas, tragedies, near-tragedies, or past abuses and betrayals against them as badges that they felt entitled them to special treatment, recognition, status, privilege, and more sympathy and LEEWAY than others. 

Obviously, when any person is a target of unfairness or abuse, those around them should help them and care for them. And when a person deals with tragedy, loss, injury or illness, those around them should help them and care for them, and help them get back on their feet. It is sad and awful when help is not forthcoming. But those who exhibit these entitlement traits will DEMAND special treatment from others, as if their tragedy or illness has given them special status above  others.

They will refuse to recognize anything that others are going through or are dealing with, because that would mean that THEY qualify for special entitled treatment TOO, which would 

A) remove the person from the roster of servants and subordinates and 

B) take away from the "high status', and also take some of the other people's attention and service away.

Like when one child is sick and gets to stay home from school, and watch TV in the bedroom, and gets extra attention and special food, and the other siblings have to keep doing their chores and going to school. Those with entitlement issues will see the sick child as getting "royal" treatment and special privileges for no "real" reason, they don't process that the reason the child is being cared for is to cure the illness, not because the child has been crowned "special".
So, the siblings who have entitlement issues will be jealous or envious of the sick child, as if the sick child is receiving favoritism, and not simply normal care because of illness, same as they would receive. If the sick child has the entitlement issues, he or she will believe that the special treatment is because he or she is being placed above the other children. In neither case is there an understanding or grasp of reality.

A person without these narcissistic personality traits will be grateful for any help they get from others, and may be angry with their illness, but not with the people around them who genuinely care. (They have the right of course to be angry with people who are ACTUALLY abusive or neglectful toward them.) But to be resentful and angry because someone can't drop everything they're doing is very self-centered. To DISMISS the tragedies, losses and hardships of others as insignificant or unimportant is blatantly narcissistic. To try to MAKE others "recognize" this "entitlement" using shame, blame, and condescension is a common tactic.

People of course SHOULD care for one another. Denying, blocking, or sabotaging care is of course blatant narcissism, even if we "don't like" the person very much. (If we really don't like them, we can still help them find care somewhere else.) But illness, injury, and hardship are not things to be held up as a badge of superiority, or an excuse to diminish others. 

>>>Further on causes of this behavior~ they may have had a relative or an acquaintance who exhibited this behavior, and came to believe that illness or "scars" from past tragedies actually are badges of entitlement, and that whoever is sick or recognized as having been through hardship gets all the recognition and attention. If people DID jump or give "high-status-attention" around this person they knew, instead of caring for them in a healthier manner, it's easy to see how they could have bought it as true. It is recognized in several areas of medicine and therapy that many people will subconsciously "allow" themselves to become ill in order to either receive preferential treatment, or to get those around them to stop abusing or neglecting them. If it works, they may subconsciously hold on to the illness or magnify the hardship as a strategy, and avoid healing or solutions.

>A "test" for a person, or for one's self, to see if this might be the case, just see how you feel or how they respond to the suggestion that it's true, in general (NOT accusing them of doing it).

>A person who is in denial because they are doing it (subconsciously) will immediately react with some kind of negativity, dismissal, or judgment. If I'm doing it, I might go "Oh that's b.s., why would anyone do that?" or I might say "I would never do that!". I wouldn't spend any time on speculating about the idea, and I would not even visit the possibility that I might be doing it in some way.   

>On the other hand, if I'm not in denial, I might say "that's interesting", and then discuss it for a minute or longer, without any negative comments or criticisms. The mere subject would not have an emotional effect on me because I'm not taking it personally.

>(One more qualifier, very important~ ACCUSING a person of doing this will almost certainly cause a defensive reaction, just because accusations are rude and hostile. You would get the same reaction if you accused them of anything at all, regardless of if they were actually doing the thing you accused them of, or NOT. The way to bring up a subject or ask a question is with respect, courtesy, and politeness, with no assumptions, blame, or condescension.)

M.M.Black