Your Date Or Partner Seems Bored With You? Red Flag

Pay attention to how others react to you when you speak, when you enter a room, when you're in a room together, or when you're in a group. Different levels of friendship, loyalty, care, respect, and the lack thereof can be observed by the way others behave. They're not your real friend just because they say they are, or because they smile at you, or because they compliment you sometimes, or because they spoke to you for five or ten minutes and made eye contact. They're not even your friend just because they've invited you out a few times, or because there's "chemistry". Pay attention to the way they TREAT you, when you're alone with them and when there are others present, and when you're separated by distance. Do they seem bored easily with you? Are they way more "animated" and joyful when someone else enters the room, but with you it's just bleh? Or are you the person they seem happy to see, but for longer than the first fifteen minutes?

Lots of people have Narcissism issues without being full-blown NPD's, and will use others for companionship just so they're not alone. They can be bored out of their minds with a person, or not really like a person much, but just don't want to be by themselves, or want the person for something about them.

A lot of people do this with a person whom they're physically attracted to, but don't really LIKE or respect as a human being or as a friend. They'll keep trying to get the person to believe they like and respect them so they won't find someone else.
A real "relationship" is with someone who's an actual friend, which means the same as it does with any other friend. We don't hang out with people we don't really like or respect as platonic friends, or those we have nothing in common with and can't make a connection. It's no different with romantic relationships, if the person is ONLY attractive to another person in a physical sense, then pretending to "like" and "respect" them is nothing more than using them, just like using a person for their money.

Family is different, we may or may not "like" and want to hang out with certain family members much, but we treat them with respect and courtesy, and have a bond with them regardless. We can and should be able to be in the same house with them for hours, each doing different things. We were born into a family, we didn't CHOOSE to create a friendship or relationship with them. The way we treat one another in a family either makes or breaks it, but we didn't pick the individuals who are in it, nor did we ask to be invited.

But with friendships and partners, we are making a CHOICE, we aren't born into the relationship, it's not preexisting or predestined. We make friendships and partnerships because we have things in common that we enjoy and are interested in, shared humor, shared activities, etc. So if those things are not there, if "hanging out" is more like sitting with a family member who we don't have anything in common with, who we're being polite with but who doesn't really want to do anything with us or talk like good friends do, then there's something going on that doesn't add up. If the relationship is false, then if this is brought up, the other person will typically become defensive and even hostile. A real friend (platonic or romantic) would simply be concerned, not defensive or hostile, and want to figure out how to make it "good" again.

Quit Your Whining Victim Mentality

Narcissists, bullies, and abusers are always annoyed and dismissive toward those who stand up for targets of abuse and manipulation.

Stop Trusting Narcissistic People

Stop trusting people who act like they're bored by you, annoyed with you, or don't respect you, and stop trying to get their approval, their acceptance, or their love. You'll be amazed at how much happier and more confident you'll feel, and how much more you can accomplish, and how much more rested you'll feel.

Arguments And "Winning"

When you don't have the same point of view as someone else, it doesn't mean they want to "argue" or "win" or convince you that they're "right".
Everything is not about winning and losing, everything is not a competition.
You can BOTH be right, or you can BOTH be wrong, or one of you can be right and one can be wrong, WHO CARES?
What's important is the actual information or solution, not WHO is "right". 
If that's the most important thing, then the solution will probably never be found, and the relationship with the person will probably just get ground up.

Narcissism is...

People who have Narcissism:

have expectations about everything and everyone, most of the time, which are much higher for others than they are for themselves, with the exception of specific goals they want to achieve.

believe that the world is THEIR "oyster", and only a certain elite few also get to share that privilege. But they see most of the people they know as existing in "supporting roles", characters in their play or a fellow Elite Person's play, not as having the same kind rights or deserving of the same "privileges" as themselves.

are trapped in various childhood developmental stages, having internalized them and solidified them in their personality (often because they felt good) instead of maturing past them.

usually see people as living in a Hierarchy, with various levels of "natural Status", often in the shape of a pyramid. So there are few at the very top who are superior humans with entitlement to authority and some kind of "natural power". With each descending level people have less and less "deserved status", and less and less entitlement to power or control, all the way to the bottom.

tend to believe that they can assess what "level" a person belongs to (in their mind) by looking at them or hearing them speak.

tend to like for others near them to be on lower status levels (in their minds) than themselves, so they can feel "above" them, and therefore feel entitled to control, recognition, service, extra respect, and extra leeway.

do not have much of an "inner life"; when they're relaxing, they're not meditating or pondering, they're mostly just "blank": no thoughts, no observation of their own thoughts or feelings, no reviewing their day or their interactions with others, no contemplating or appreciating the beauty of the world around them. Relaxation means "nothingness".

like to control others by instigating and provoking various emotions.

like to control situations and people by triangulating, provoking, and orchestrating the movements, thoughts, perceptions, feelings, and relationships between others.

like to control specifically targeted people with lies, threats, gaslighting, verbal or physical abuse, sabotage, manipulation, and slander.

will throw any person at all "under a bus", including their own child, to avoid consequences for themselves or to gain something.

will cross the country or the ocean for a personal gain, but won't cross the street to help someone (unless there's a gain in it). 

believe that any and all of their achievements, plans, and problems are more important and more valid than any and all of the achievements, plans, or problems of others.

react on a regular basis with envy and resentment toward others.

react to other people's hardship or emotional pain or frustration with defensiveness.

only seek connection with many of the people in their lives when they're bored or lonely, but otherwise treat those same people like they're "bothering them" when they're not bored or lonely.

need to be right and righteous, 100% of the time.

Don't Compromise Yourself To Fit In

Those with high ethical standards and integrity are always unpopular with those who don't share their values. Keep doing what you know is right even when it seems like the whole world is turning their back on you. Don't compromise yourself to gain their acceptance.

Remember that humans form groups based on common behaviors and motivations, so groups who drink heavily don't want non-drinkers around.
Groups who use drugs don't want non-drug-users around. Groups who make their living off corruption or crime don't want straight-laced people around.
Those who are seeking adulation or power don't like people who don't play along and give them extra special attention and praise, or bow down to them.
Groups who want to be seen as Good, or Important, Enlightened, or Attractive don't like those who don't participate in image-grooming.
And those who get a charge out of gossip, bullying, or manipulation don't like those who are straightforward, honest, strong, and who stand up for others or for themselves.

If you refuse to play their game, they're not going to want you around, and they're certainly not going to invite you to the party.
But if they did invite you, would you really want to go?

No Straight Answers: Superiority Complexes And Bad Communication, Lame Teaching, Bad Client and Customer Service

There are several reasons why it can be so difficult to communicate with those who deem themselves "superior", and others "inferior". The term "Narcissist" is often used to describe these folks, but that's more of a blanket term when used in this context. Humans often deem themselves superior to others based on all kinds of superficial comparisons, and also on fantasy-based assumptions, because it can give a person a feeling of confidence and capability, albeit false, but most people like to feel important to some extent no matter how they achieve that feeling.

One of the main reasons behind bad communication with Superiority Complex individuals is that when they have deemed another to be an "inferior", they can't actually comprehend what the person is saying, because they REINTERPRET everything the person says.  They want the person's statements or questions to be indicative of categorical ignorance or stupidity.

For example, if Allison asks a store clerk with a Superiority Complex "Do you carry Thompson's Deck Treatment?", the store clerk will REINTERPRET her simple, straightforward question that requires only an answer of "Yes" or "No", and hopefully where it's located in the store. Instead of hearing the actual question, since the clerk has deemed Allison "inferior" and is assuming she's less intelligent and ignorant, the clerk hears something like:

"Hi there, excuse me, sorry to bother you, hope I'm not interrupting you, can you please help me? I don't know anything about decks, and don't really even know what 'Thompson's' IS, or what a treatment is, or how to do it. I saw something on TV about how you should treat your deck (or~ my husband/brother/neighbor told me I should do this), and so I decided to just go see if I could find it at the store. Can you explain to me how decks are built, and what a treatment is, and what brands are good, and whether I should buy it or not, and if I can do it all by my little self?"

The Superiority Complex-store clerk will answer what he or she HEARD in their OWN HEAD, not what Allison ACTUALLY said, nor the WAY she said it. The clerk will not simply say "Yes" or "No", or "Yes, it's down aisle 7 on the right". He or she will instead see an opportunity to either "educate" Allison on decks, deck care, and deck treatment, because of the assumption that she's clueless, OR he or she will treat Allison dismissively and rudely, like she's taking up their time and space, interrupting them from their extremely important lives. (Regardless of the fact that Allison is a store customer just like anyone else, and their JOB is to treat her with the same respect and courtesy that they'd treat any other customer with.)

Further, if Allison looks or sounds similar to someone else they know, or similar to a stereotype or bias they hold in their imagination, they'll interpret what she says according to THAT, especially if they actually do have Narcissism.

This communication issue can be seen in all fields, all jobs, and all "levels" of jobs. When a person has a Superiority Complex, they assess others to be higher, equal to, or lower than themselves FIRST, and THEN they will interpret what the person says according to their assessment of them. So "straight answers" SANS condescension, pontification, disrespect, outright lying, manipulation, or dismissal are ONLY given to those whom they've deemed above or equal to themselves.

Those whom they deem inferior are assumed to know much less and comprehend much less. Therefore everything they say and do will be assumed as originating from a place of ignorance, experience, education, comprehension, worldliness, or even a lack of intelligence or mental stability, or "bad character", depending on how severe the person's Superiority Complex is.

Those with actual Narcissism will often assume that they can MANIPULATE those whom they've deemed inferior, and will often be utterly shocked, angry, and even enraged when a person whom they've lied to, conned, or betrayed turns out to be aware and more intelligent or worldly than they had assumed. (Narcissists will blame the person they were trying to deceive for their humiliation at getting caught, and often smear them or "retaliate" in some way, as if their TARGET was the one doing something wrong in the first place.)

In summation, those who condescend to others are usually trying to convince others of their "superiority", and are trying to seize an opportunity they think they see to treat another as an inferior.

The short answer for advice on trying to communicate with such a person:
Forget about it, ask someone else. If they're already talking down to you, overexplaining, avoiding answering directly, condescending, etc., they're unlikely to stop.

Blatant Lack Of Respect In Social Interactions

Narcissists do their relationship priorities BACKWARDS.
They care much more about what strangers and acquaintances think of them than they care about the well being of their own children, partner, family members, or "friends". 

They will not stand up for one of their family members or for their partner or a friend against disrespect, bullying, injustice, or abuse because they might lose the approval and acceptance of the people doing the disrespecting.

A Narcissist will readily go along with trashing or disrespecting a person (even right to their face) in their own family or "friendship" circle, including their own kids or their romantic partner, in order to gain acceptance from others.

In communities where Narcissism is rampant, one can witness blatant disrespect in simple human interactions, with certain people being treated with manners, greetings, and purposeful respect, and others being treated with obvious disrespect. Whether it's some kind of social event, gathering, or store or business, the behavior will often be the same in the given community no matter what the situation.

Even a pair of friends, or a married couple, or a pair of relatives standing right next to each other will often be treated completely differently from one another by those around them. One person may be spoken to directly, greeted respectfully and warmly, and the other person can be completely ignored and disrespected.

Also, the more Narcissism in a community, the more likely the person who's being greeted respectfully will NOT CARE that the person they're with is being treated poorly.

If there are no apparent social consequences for it in the local community, many people will ENJOY being treated as "superior" to the person they're with, and often even encourage it and go along with it.

Worthiness, Popularity, Importance

One of the things humans tend to do that's turned on "high" in those with Narcissism is judge people by how popular or respected they appear to be with others.

It's common for those who have ability and talent to get ignored or picked on by other people right up until something happens that makes them "famous", or they get some kind of institutional recognition that they can hang on the wall, or they can afford to buy some kind of Status symbol, like a big house or expensive car.

That's why so many people try so hard to get those things. It's not so much the money or the fame, it's more about the way they'll get treated by others. Humans tend to treat those they see as "popular" or "important" with much better manners and courtesy, and they'll even say that it's because the person "deserves it", which of course is saying that others do NOT deserve it. This is blaming others for one's bad manners and lack of respect and integrity.

Of course, people who do this to others WANT respect, courtesy, and understanding for themselves, regardless of their own level of popularity or "importance", they apparently don't apply their own parameters for the way they treat others to themselves.

This common unfortunate human social behavior causes many of the problems that people have both personally and in society.

Those with Narcissism do this on a regular basis, however they seem to believe that it's ACCURATE to treat others better or worse according to their popularity with others, and whether they deem them to be an "important person".

This is one of the main reasons behind their obsession with their own image, being seen in a certain light by others. Since they think it's perfectly okay and normal to only treat those who are "important" or "popular" with respect or manners, they of course NEED to be one of those people. They HAVE TO BE an "important person", wanted, popular, recognized, accepted by certain people, and MORE important than certain others in comparison...
Otherwise, they would be, in their mind, one of the UNIMPORTANT people who they think don't matter, and who aren't worthy of respect and manners.

Relationships With Narcissists

The thing about any kind of relationship with a person who has Narcissism is that they literally don't care about or respect the other person's point of view, their intelligence, their experience, their future plans and goals, their needs, their wants, their uniqueness, their boundaries, their person, or their current well-being.
Of course they will say that they respect and care about all of these things, even very much. But they don't really know what it means.

They'll continue to do and say things forever that leave a person cold, uncomfortable, humiliated, traumatized, or just plain "screwed" on a worldly, material level.
A person with Narcissism can't do "companionship", they can't do "having your back", they don't do "empathy" or "objectivity", they can't do genuine connection, they only cooperate with those they deem "elite" like they deem themselves, they can't and don't want to do self-control, and they can't take hearing anything about themselves whatsoever, not even five minutes after they just tore you to pieces or shattered your peace of mind. Not five minutes after, not the next day, not the following week, month, year, or five, or twenty-five years later. Not ever.

You CAN'T EVER BE upset with them, you can't be angry, you can't be sad, you can't even be slightly annoyed. When in any relationship with a Narcissist, they want to be the only one who has the privilege of having or expressing any kind of emotion, especially anything that's like annoyance, anger, or being "upset". You're not even "allowed" to have any kind of trauma issues that you need healing or understanding about, nor are you "allowed" to have any physical illnesses or injuries, and if you do, you're on your own. They'll be the last person to help you no matter what your relationship is to them, be it "partner", parent/child, sibling, relative, neighbor, coworker, or "friend". If they help you because they feel like they have no choice, you'll probably wish they hadn't.

Narcissists do NOT care about others, or their effect on others, or how they treat others, because they can't.