We humans like to set up our world a certain way and then say "That's how it was when I got here!"
If I teach my daughter to cook pancakes but not my son, then which one of them is going to know how to cook pancakes, and which one of them is NOT going to know how?
So, my daughter knows how to cook pancakes, and my son does not.
Does that mean that GIRLS are naturally better at cooking than BOYS?
Um... wait, let me think on that... the answer is a pretty solid "NO".
What it means is: I taught my daughter how to cook pancakes, and I DID NOT teach my son how.
That's all it means. Nothing else.
So when my oil needs to be changed and both my son and daughter are playing in the yard, which one do I call over to "help me"?
Do I call them BOTH over?
If one of them acts like they're not interested, what do I say?
OH, it depends which one...
so if my SON says "Nah, I'm playing ..." I say "Come over here and help me, you can do this. Here, hold this while I do this... here pull this stick out, see the oil on it? See the marks? Now clean it off with this rag, and stick it back in that hole, yup, all the way down..."
and then he says "this is dirty" and I say "Ahh it washes off, no big deal."
and then he says "this is boring" and I say "You'll have to learn to do this when YOU drive this car!"
and then he perks up, since I just told him the car was going to be his someday.
But... if my DAUGHTER says "Nah, I'm playing..." I don't say "Come over here and help me, you can do this." INSTEAD, I say "Playing.. don't you want to learn about cars?" and then she says "Nahh, I'm doing this..." and then I say "Oh, okay..." and then... "Hey Son, why don't you come over here and help me?" To which he replies "Nahh.. I'm playing..." and then I say "Come over here and help me."
It's not about THEM, it's about ME.
Later, someone else comments on my son working on the car with me, and I say, proudly, "Oh yeah, he was all into it!" even though the truth is, he was bored out of his mind until I implied that HE was going to get the car someday. Would I have implied that to my daughter in order to get her interested in working on the car? NOT... because, it's ABOUT ME, not my son, and not my daughter.
Someone mentions that my daughter seemed uninterested in working on the car, and I say "Yeah, she's a girly girl, she likes her dolls.." (Yes, the dolls they were BOTH using in their game of pretend... which is NATURAL, NORMAL, and HEALTHY for all children, female or male.)
WE set up the world the way we want it, and then we shove children into it, whether they like it or not, and then we say "it's just natural"...
If I teach my daughter to cook pancakes but not my son, then which one of them is going to know how to cook pancakes, and which one of them is NOT going to know how?
So, my daughter knows how to cook pancakes, and my son does not.
Does that mean that GIRLS are naturally better at cooking than BOYS?
Um... wait, let me think on that... the answer is a pretty solid "NO".
What it means is: I taught my daughter how to cook pancakes, and I DID NOT teach my son how.
That's all it means. Nothing else.
So when my oil needs to be changed and both my son and daughter are playing in the yard, which one do I call over to "help me"?
Do I call them BOTH over?
If one of them acts like they're not interested, what do I say?
OH, it depends which one...
so if my SON says "Nah, I'm playing ..." I say "Come over here and help me, you can do this. Here, hold this while I do this... here pull this stick out, see the oil on it? See the marks? Now clean it off with this rag, and stick it back in that hole, yup, all the way down..."
and then he says "this is dirty" and I say "Ahh it washes off, no big deal."
and then he says "this is boring" and I say "You'll have to learn to do this when YOU drive this car!"
and then he perks up, since I just told him the car was going to be his someday.
But... if my DAUGHTER says "Nah, I'm playing..." I don't say "Come over here and help me, you can do this." INSTEAD, I say "Playing.. don't you want to learn about cars?" and then she says "Nahh, I'm doing this..." and then I say "Oh, okay..." and then... "Hey Son, why don't you come over here and help me?" To which he replies "Nahh.. I'm playing..." and then I say "Come over here and help me."
It's not about THEM, it's about ME.
Later, someone else comments on my son working on the car with me, and I say, proudly, "Oh yeah, he was all into it!" even though the truth is, he was bored out of his mind until I implied that HE was going to get the car someday. Would I have implied that to my daughter in order to get her interested in working on the car? NOT... because, it's ABOUT ME, not my son, and not my daughter.
Someone mentions that my daughter seemed uninterested in working on the car, and I say "Yeah, she's a girly girl, she likes her dolls.." (Yes, the dolls they were BOTH using in their game of pretend... which is NATURAL, NORMAL, and HEALTHY for all children, female or male.)
WE set up the world the way we want it, and then we shove children into it, whether they like it or not, and then we say "it's just natural"...
