Altruism, empathy, compassion, fairness, and even small self-sacrifice for others do not appear to be simply natural human traits, but rather enlightened understanding and learning of what it really takes to maintain the mental, physical, and emotional health of people in a relationship, family, group and community. The more 'enlightened' individuals seen in a particular group, the better the quality of life is apparent for all members, and the less understanding and 'enlightenment', the less success the members of the group will find in various areas of life. Human beings tend to sink to the lowest common denominator, not float to the highest. We are heavier than air, water, and understanding, not lighter. We're dense, and that's our greatest weakness.
OCD and PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder)
How Are PTSD and OCD Connected?
In addition to PTSD, people who have experienced a traumatic life event may also be more likely to develop symptoms of OCD. In fact, it has been shown that the severity of a person's OCD symptoms is connected to the number of traumatic events they have experienced in their lifetime.http://ptsd.about.com/od/relatedconditions/a/OCD_PTSD.htm
Why Certain People Get Targeted More Than Others
Why are there more abuse and bully victims of one sex than the other, one class or the other, one body type or another, or one ancestry, skin or hair color than another in a given area?
If a target's physical body and appearance matches local prejudices, then the odds are much greater that they will be targeted in the first place, and that the targeting will keep going as long as the person remains in the local area. Because people who target others ONLY STOP if they think they'll receive CONSEQUENCES for it from OTHERS.
(Because people who target others are immature, for the most part; they only do things or don't do things based on reward and consequence.)
This can be witnessed clearly in regions where certain prejudices such as white against black are now considered immoral, but other prejudices such as anti-white or anti-female go unchecked, and therefore there is no fear of consequences for behaving with such prejudice and immaturity.
For example, a local Firefighter's organization may be making sure that there is no racial bias in the entry process, but sex and height bias is still present, because no one is giving out social consequences for it. So now all races are represented in the Firefighter's organization, and everyone feels like they're being "morally correct", but the fact that all of the races of humans there are taller males is completely ignored, and everyone pretends they don't notice. If and when someone points it out, it will be either denied or rationalized, (something like "these are simply the people who passed the entry test, there's no bias going on") but there will be no fact-checking or real, objective review of the entry process or surrounding factors. There will be no objective investigation into local biases, or into the possibility of a "hostile environment" that keeps certain people from even trying to take the entry tests.
There will be no objectivity, period. Because no one FEARS CONSEQUENCES for their prejudices.
If a target's physical body and appearance matches local prejudices, then the odds are much greater that they will be targeted in the first place, and that the targeting will keep going as long as the person remains in the local area. Because people who target others ONLY STOP if they think they'll receive CONSEQUENCES for it from OTHERS.
(Because people who target others are immature, for the most part; they only do things or don't do things based on reward and consequence.)
This can be witnessed clearly in regions where certain prejudices such as white against black are now considered immoral, but other prejudices such as anti-white or anti-female go unchecked, and therefore there is no fear of consequences for behaving with such prejudice and immaturity.
For example, a local Firefighter's organization may be making sure that there is no racial bias in the entry process, but sex and height bias is still present, because no one is giving out social consequences for it. So now all races are represented in the Firefighter's organization, and everyone feels like they're being "morally correct", but the fact that all of the races of humans there are taller males is completely ignored, and everyone pretends they don't notice. If and when someone points it out, it will be either denied or rationalized, (something like "these are simply the people who passed the entry test, there's no bias going on") but there will be no fact-checking or real, objective review of the entry process or surrounding factors. There will be no objective investigation into local biases, or into the possibility of a "hostile environment" that keeps certain people from even trying to take the entry tests.
There will be no objectivity, period. Because no one FEARS CONSEQUENCES for their prejudices.
Fantasy Life: "Good People" and "Bad People"
The rejection of another person's reality is a symptom of being used to living in fantasy about one's own life.
If a person needs to believe certain things about their life, themselves, and others in order to feel like a valuable person, then those beliefs and the stories that they are built upon can not be challenged.
A common fantasy that many people share is that they are one of the people who are above reproach, and are higher in 'natural status' than others around them. This allows them to believe that they are naturally more logical, more grounded, more responsible, and more emotionally stable than certain others whom they have designated as lower status than themselves. This allows them to believe that they are entitled to privilege, care, love, understanding, sympathy, resources OVER others. It also encourages them to believe they are entitled to have authority over those who are not included in their elite "good person" group.
This common fantasy is usually shared with one or more people in the person's life, and in fact they have likely actually adapted the fantasy from others who already live in it.
One of the behaviors that is nearly always visible when this fantasy is present is the labeling of others in negative ways. Projected "bad character" is placed on others in a blanket way, and projected "good character" is placed on themselves, and those within the shared fantasy.
Labels that categorize others in a blanket way as "bad people" such as "unstable", "loser", "emotional", "hostile", "lazy", "slut", "whackjob", "right-fighter", "naive", "self-centered", "stuck-up", etc are simply methods of ignoring and covering up events and details of reality, and casting the person in a bad light. If a person is upset about something that happened to them, then categorizing them as a "nutjob" is a way to have an excuse to ignore and invalidate them. This comes in very handy when a person is upset about something that someone else did TO them; the offender's actions get minimized, twisted completely, or even deleted, they never have to account for what they did, and as an added benefit, they even get to look like the "victim" of the other person, instead of the reality of it being the other way around.
Labels that categorize themselves and others who share their fantasy as "good people" such as "compassionate", "helpful", "hard worker", "responsible", "smart", "sweet", "generous", "down to earth", are also ways of clothing a person in a blanket judgment to keep the fantasy alive, and to keep their transgressions and not so nice motives hidden. If a person is labeled as "good people", then any sins they commit that are SEEN will be automatically painted as innocent mistakes, or unintentional, or because of stress.
People who live in and with this common fantasy can be heard using descriptive terms about other people frequently, INSTEAD of reviewing actual events in order to understand what really happened. They don't WANT to hear what happened, they don't WANT to talk about details, and they don't WANT to know all sides or points of view. They are ONLY concerned with keeping their fantasy alive of who is in the "good person/entitled person" group and who is not, which means reality is not welcome, because it would destroy the fantasy.
The importance of keeping the fantasy going and keeping one's self in the "good person" group can actually mean the difference between having access to resources, care, and normal living, and being ostracized from the person's family and community, because these fantasies are usually originated and carried by others who actually hold real control, power, and resources. When the fantasy is SHARED, then others are also invested in it, so when someone does NOT perpetuate the fantasy and begins to actually LOOK at real events, they are an immediate THREAT. They will often be quickly rallied against and ejected from the group with prejudice. If a person stands up FOR a person who has been treated unfairly or badly by those in the "good person" group, they will usually be quickly rallied against and rejected, and RE-CATEGORIZED and RE-LABELED in the "bad person" group.
When a person does anything at all, real or IMAGINARY, that leads to them being ejected from the "good person/entitled person" group, they will then be re-categorized as NOT "one of the good/entitled people", and therefore will be blocked from resources, denied care, sympathy, and support, will be denied recognition and credit for anything they do, and will be blocked, sabotaged, countered, and invalidated at every turn. Nothing they say from that day forward will be heard or taken seriously by anyone in the "good person/entitled person" group.
The fantasy is actually a shared consensus that is kept alive BY these changes in "membership". If there is no one to reject, then there's no more fantasy, and the pain of reality starts to creep in. Those who live in this fantasy may not KNOW that there is another way to live that doesn't cause so much drama and harm to people, but it's also possible that they do know, and don't care, because the fantasy seems to work better for them than real life.
If a person needs to believe certain things about their life, themselves, and others in order to feel like a valuable person, then those beliefs and the stories that they are built upon can not be challenged.
A common fantasy that many people share is that they are one of the people who are above reproach, and are higher in 'natural status' than others around them. This allows them to believe that they are naturally more logical, more grounded, more responsible, and more emotionally stable than certain others whom they have designated as lower status than themselves. This allows them to believe that they are entitled to privilege, care, love, understanding, sympathy, resources OVER others. It also encourages them to believe they are entitled to have authority over those who are not included in their elite "good person" group.
This common fantasy is usually shared with one or more people in the person's life, and in fact they have likely actually adapted the fantasy from others who already live in it.
One of the behaviors that is nearly always visible when this fantasy is present is the labeling of others in negative ways. Projected "bad character" is placed on others in a blanket way, and projected "good character" is placed on themselves, and those within the shared fantasy.
Labels that categorize others in a blanket way as "bad people" such as "unstable", "loser", "emotional", "hostile", "lazy", "slut", "whackjob", "right-fighter", "naive", "self-centered", "stuck-up", etc are simply methods of ignoring and covering up events and details of reality, and casting the person in a bad light. If a person is upset about something that happened to them, then categorizing them as a "nutjob" is a way to have an excuse to ignore and invalidate them. This comes in very handy when a person is upset about something that someone else did TO them; the offender's actions get minimized, twisted completely, or even deleted, they never have to account for what they did, and as an added benefit, they even get to look like the "victim" of the other person, instead of the reality of it being the other way around.
Labels that categorize themselves and others who share their fantasy as "good people" such as "compassionate", "helpful", "hard worker", "responsible", "smart", "sweet", "generous", "down to earth", are also ways of clothing a person in a blanket judgment to keep the fantasy alive, and to keep their transgressions and not so nice motives hidden. If a person is labeled as "good people", then any sins they commit that are SEEN will be automatically painted as innocent mistakes, or unintentional, or because of stress.
People who live in and with this common fantasy can be heard using descriptive terms about other people frequently, INSTEAD of reviewing actual events in order to understand what really happened. They don't WANT to hear what happened, they don't WANT to talk about details, and they don't WANT to know all sides or points of view. They are ONLY concerned with keeping their fantasy alive of who is in the "good person/entitled person" group and who is not, which means reality is not welcome, because it would destroy the fantasy.
The importance of keeping the fantasy going and keeping one's self in the "good person" group can actually mean the difference between having access to resources, care, and normal living, and being ostracized from the person's family and community, because these fantasies are usually originated and carried by others who actually hold real control, power, and resources. When the fantasy is SHARED, then others are also invested in it, so when someone does NOT perpetuate the fantasy and begins to actually LOOK at real events, they are an immediate THREAT. They will often be quickly rallied against and ejected from the group with prejudice. If a person stands up FOR a person who has been treated unfairly or badly by those in the "good person" group, they will usually be quickly rallied against and rejected, and RE-CATEGORIZED and RE-LABELED in the "bad person" group.
When a person does anything at all, real or IMAGINARY, that leads to them being ejected from the "good person/entitled person" group, they will then be re-categorized as NOT "one of the good/entitled people", and therefore will be blocked from resources, denied care, sympathy, and support, will be denied recognition and credit for anything they do, and will be blocked, sabotaged, countered, and invalidated at every turn. Nothing they say from that day forward will be heard or taken seriously by anyone in the "good person/entitled person" group.
The fantasy is actually a shared consensus that is kept alive BY these changes in "membership". If there is no one to reject, then there's no more fantasy, and the pain of reality starts to creep in. Those who live in this fantasy may not KNOW that there is another way to live that doesn't cause so much drama and harm to people, but it's also possible that they do know, and don't care, because the fantasy seems to work better for them than real life.
What Can I Possibly Do To Help An Abuse Victim?
Those who know someone who has been through trauma and abuse sometimes feel like they can't do anything to help, so they do nothing, they avoid and act coldly toward the person. What they can do that actually would be helpful is to understand that one of the things that can happen to a person is isolation. It can be because they are too overwhelmed, too fatigued, or too stressed to reach out to others, or they often don't realize time has gone by because of their fatigue; they may have ended up with fear of going outside or fear of other people (either fear of attack, fear of slander, or fear of having to deal with cold human cruelty and domination behaviors, anxiety about suppressing their own anger when yet another person acts disrespectfully or abusively),
or they may have actually been conditioned (brainwashed) to isolate themselves from others by a Controller/abuser.
Conditioning a target to disconnect from other people that they would normally be connected to is a very common abuser behavior that targets (no matter how intelligent or physically strong) are rarely aware of, and the effects can last for years, especially if no one around them understands the effects and trauma of manipulative abuse, whether it was from childhood or during adulthood, or both.
So if you think of yourself as a "compassionate person" and you're not suffering from the effects of trauma yourself, try reading up on what happens to strong, good, intelligent human beings when they go through trauma. You can do a lot of good in the world if you simply have a decent grasp on what happens, what people go through, what the effects are, and how to behave toward a person who has dealt with trauma (and how NOT to.)
That person could easily be you someday, and hopefully it won't, but if that day did come, you would find out how rare and how precious it is to find a person who actually grasps it at all, who treats you with respect, and who you can simply communicate with in a genuine way.
or they may have actually been conditioned (brainwashed) to isolate themselves from others by a Controller/abuser.
Conditioning a target to disconnect from other people that they would normally be connected to is a very common abuser behavior that targets (no matter how intelligent or physically strong) are rarely aware of, and the effects can last for years, especially if no one around them understands the effects and trauma of manipulative abuse, whether it was from childhood or during adulthood, or both.
So if you think of yourself as a "compassionate person" and you're not suffering from the effects of trauma yourself, try reading up on what happens to strong, good, intelligent human beings when they go through trauma. You can do a lot of good in the world if you simply have a decent grasp on what happens, what people go through, what the effects are, and how to behave toward a person who has dealt with trauma (and how NOT to.)
That person could easily be you someday, and hopefully it won't, but if that day did come, you would find out how rare and how precious it is to find a person who actually grasps it at all, who treats you with respect, and who you can simply communicate with in a genuine way.
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