Number one obvious Controller trait: A
"partner" who is openly jealous of anyone their partner speaks to of the
opposite sex, even to the point of anger and drama, but has zero regard
for their partner's feelings about people of the opposite sex that they
associate with.
~ If you're a woman, you can't be friends with "hot guys", (men your partner thinks are "eligible", that is, regardless of your own opinion), even if you've known the guy your whole life. (If you're a man, just reverse all the genders in this post, the basic behavior is pretty much the same, with variations according to the individual.) Your Controller partner has no qualms about making false accusations about your relationships, about humiliating you, about demanding that you sever your most platonic friendships. But he has absolutely no tolerance for ANY expression of insecurity from YOU, and even if you calmly ask a question about a female associate (normal information gathering, part of a healthy relationship), he becomes angry, and accuses you of acting like a control freak or like you're "out of line". He associates with all kinds of women, regardless of how they behave toward him, and regardless of how they treat YOU. The more physically attractive, the better.
The only things that might cross his mind about you, when it comes to these other women, might be satisfaction that you might feel jealous, or that he's acquired a new female who's "hotter than you".
In fact, if the partner is a Narcissist, he might LIKE it when a beautiful woman pays attention to HIM, and disrespects YOU. That woman will probably be at the top of his list. You'll notice he doesn't care if these women treat you, or your couplehood, with any respect at all. (To a Narcissist, there is no "relationship", there's just steps on a ladder to "hottest chick in the world", whom he will never find, since any new woman is always "hotter" than the last, until he gets used to her, then she'll be old news too~ but he doesn't understand this about his own mind). By the time this behavior is showing itself, he's already devalued you, and likes it when other people devalue you along with him.
(Thank you B.D. for your comment )
~ If you're a woman, you can't be friends with "hot guys", (men your partner thinks are "eligible", that is, regardless of your own opinion), even if you've known the guy your whole life. (If you're a man, just reverse all the genders in this post, the basic behavior is pretty much the same, with variations according to the individual.) Your Controller partner has no qualms about making false accusations about your relationships, about humiliating you, about demanding that you sever your most platonic friendships. But he has absolutely no tolerance for ANY expression of insecurity from YOU, and even if you calmly ask a question about a female associate (normal information gathering, part of a healthy relationship), he becomes angry, and accuses you of acting like a control freak or like you're "out of line". He associates with all kinds of women, regardless of how they behave toward him, and regardless of how they treat YOU. The more physically attractive, the better.
The only things that might cross his mind about you, when it comes to these other women, might be satisfaction that you might feel jealous, or that he's acquired a new female who's "hotter than you".
In fact, if the partner is a Narcissist, he might LIKE it when a beautiful woman pays attention to HIM, and disrespects YOU. That woman will probably be at the top of his list. You'll notice he doesn't care if these women treat you, or your couplehood, with any respect at all. (To a Narcissist, there is no "relationship", there's just steps on a ladder to "hottest chick in the world", whom he will never find, since any new woman is always "hotter" than the last, until he gets used to her, then she'll be old news too~ but he doesn't understand this about his own mind). By the time this behavior is showing itself, he's already devalued you, and likes it when other people devalue you along with him.
(Thank you B.D. for your comment )
