"Healthy Boundaries" means you don't think others are trying to MAKE you "follow" them, or giving you directives and orders, or claiming to be an Expert or your Superior, or judging you, just because they share their insight, observations, beliefs, experiences, or opinions.
"Boundaries" are part of the function of the healthy, normal "ego", also a part of one's identity and ability to self-care and self-protect. Injuries and weaknesses are often due to neglectful, or abusive, or betraying, sabotaging, judgmental or otherwise dysfunctional behavior toward a person at some point, especially for prolonged periods of time, and even moreso if the experiences were during childhood.
When one's Boundaries are weakened or injured, it can be hard to discern whether another person is being manipulative or not, arrogant or not, straightforward and honest or not, or demanding or not. Trusting the "wrong" person, and rejecting and distrusting a trustworthy person is actually quite common.
That's why "Boundary Healing" is just as important as physical health in one's recovery.
Those who have developed Narcissistic disorder assume that they "already know for sure" who is trustworthy, wise, strong, and healthy, because they believe their own emotional reactions toward others, and interpret them as accurate "information".
However whether a person has Narcissism or not, injured boundaries mean that one's ability to judge others EITHER for good or for ill has been compromised.
So one may be bent on accusing a person who has no hidden agenda of being a "Snake Oil Salesman", or "trying to get attention", or "holier than thou", and another who IS a Charlatan (or Cult Leader, or pathological liar, slanderer, abuser, con artist, thief, etc.)
to be a "Good and Honest, down to earth person".
Because they are not feeling REAL or ACCURATE signals (gut feelings) about other people, nor are they paying attention to what's REALLY going on, how a person REALLY behaves, acts, and speaks. It's common for those with injured or weakened boundaries to make snap judgments about other people, either for good or for ill, and either let them "in" or reject them without getting to know the person at a healthy distance, over a good length of time.
Instead, they're feeling emotional responses to who and what seem familiar and safe, or "intelligent" or "responsible", and also to who and what seem foreign or "other", and also to their own envy, jealousy, resentment, feelings of abandonment, or fear.
They may of course ALSO be responding to things and people around them that actually ARE some sort of threat, however they are very likely to see the threat as being much worse than it actually is.
On the other side of that coin, they are in danger of misinterpreting REAL threats as "safe harbor", due to the "training" they received when their boundaries became injured or weakened in the first place.
