A person who is using "moral high ground" in order to have an excuse to reject, abandon, abuse, dominate, or attack another person is, ironically, doing something that is immoral.
The Worlds Sucks, What Can I Do About It?
Yes, a huge number of humans are incredibly immature, stuck up, biased, and self-centered. No, there's nothing you can do about their issues, or the impact they have on others, and on the world in general.
Except for a couple of real things.
You can double-check yourself, your motives, your biases, and your actions, and find ways and methods to make improvements wherever possible; and then you can be a beacon of hope, a model, and a mentor for others, especially young people, who are desperate for positive, self-respecting, fair-minded, non-sexist, non-bigoted, ethical adults to guide and protect them.
Except for a couple of real things.
You can double-check yourself, your motives, your biases, and your actions, and find ways and methods to make improvements wherever possible; and then you can be a beacon of hope, a model, and a mentor for others, especially young people, who are desperate for positive, self-respecting, fair-minded, non-sexist, non-bigoted, ethical adults to guide and protect them.
Healthy Parenting Vs. Unhealthy Parenting
It is
absolutely not "normal" for a child to worry that he or she is going to
be rejected, abandoned, invaded, insulted, stolen from, manipulated,
backstabbed, exploited, triangulated against, or attacked emotionally,
physically, or in any other way by a parent.
Parents who do these things have either mental illness or a personality disorder. They may have developed their illness from themselves being abused growing up, but that does not negate their responsibility as parents.
If they can't help it, because they're pathologically ill, and aren't going to be capable of recovery, then other adults around them who are not mentally ill are responsible for stepping in and helping to mentor and care for the child, with the same level of responsible parenting or balanced, healthy caregiving, not as a hero or a martyr.
In healthy families, cultures, and communities, helping others and helping with children (in a genuine way) is normal and expected. Since everyone simply does it naturally, the "burden" does not fall to only one or two people, so it's not a hardship.
(The difference between nine people pushing a stalled car with one person in it, steering, and one person pushing a car with nine people in it.
Or ten people keeping watch over a flock of sheep, taking brief shifts, sharing shifts, switching shifts, vs. one person keeping watch over the whole flock, all alone, 24/7, and then getting judged and criticized by the other nine when anything happens.)
In unhealthy groups, a mentally or emotionally ill parent is often lambasted and shamed (even if their illness is from trauma) by those with self-righteous complexes, and the child is ignored and left to deal with it by themselves, because the focus is really only on judging the parent, not on the well-being of the child. OR the child is "taken away" from the parent as a display of power and control, either by an individual or by the state, not to help either the parent or the child, just to have control.
Parents who do these things have either mental illness or a personality disorder. They may have developed their illness from themselves being abused growing up, but that does not negate their responsibility as parents.
If they can't help it, because they're pathologically ill, and aren't going to be capable of recovery, then other adults around them who are not mentally ill are responsible for stepping in and helping to mentor and care for the child, with the same level of responsible parenting or balanced, healthy caregiving, not as a hero or a martyr.
In healthy families, cultures, and communities, helping others and helping with children (in a genuine way) is normal and expected. Since everyone simply does it naturally, the "burden" does not fall to only one or two people, so it's not a hardship.
(The difference between nine people pushing a stalled car with one person in it, steering, and one person pushing a car with nine people in it.
Or ten people keeping watch over a flock of sheep, taking brief shifts, sharing shifts, switching shifts, vs. one person keeping watch over the whole flock, all alone, 24/7, and then getting judged and criticized by the other nine when anything happens.)
In unhealthy groups, a mentally or emotionally ill parent is often lambasted and shamed (even if their illness is from trauma) by those with self-righteous complexes, and the child is ignored and left to deal with it by themselves, because the focus is really only on judging the parent, not on the well-being of the child. OR the child is "taken away" from the parent as a display of power and control, either by an individual or by the state, not to help either the parent or the child, just to have control.
Power Tripping Self-Righteousness (On Either The "Left" or The "Right")
Self-righteousness is the same, and for the same reasons, whether it's on the Left or the Right side of the aisle, or even outside the building.
A person with Self-righteousness likes it when he or she finds an excuse to feel offended, because it's an opportunity for a display of moral superiority, which translates to feeling control, belonging, innocence, and power.
It doesn't matter what the speech or action is that they're offended about, nor do they care if they interpreted the speech or action correctly.
If one observes, one will see that those who have Self-righteousness issues are not actually interested in the plights or problems of those around them. They are not interested in reviewing or hearing facts. They are not interested in hearing the points of view of others. They are not interested in calm and intelligent discussion, and sharing of information. They are not interested in respect toward others.
They are also not interested in improving or repairing relationships between themselves and others, or standing up for anyone who's not already in their clique, (or standing up for anyone at all), or hearing apologies, or apologizing themselves.
It's a feeling of vindication, moral superiority, moral high-ground, self-righteousness, and inclusion in a group they believe to be above others that they're after, regardless of facts, regardless of the situation, regardless of past and present, and regardless of the negative effects and consequences they have on others.
http://refulgentcoleman.blogspot.com/2014/06/power-tripping-self-righteousness-on.html
A person with Self-righteousness likes it when he or she finds an excuse to feel offended, because it's an opportunity for a display of moral superiority, which translates to feeling control, belonging, innocence, and power.
It doesn't matter what the speech or action is that they're offended about, nor do they care if they interpreted the speech or action correctly.
If one observes, one will see that those who have Self-righteousness issues are not actually interested in the plights or problems of those around them. They are not interested in reviewing or hearing facts. They are not interested in hearing the points of view of others. They are not interested in calm and intelligent discussion, and sharing of information. They are not interested in respect toward others.
They are also not interested in improving or repairing relationships between themselves and others, or standing up for anyone who's not already in their clique, (or standing up for anyone at all), or hearing apologies, or apologizing themselves.
It's a feeling of vindication, moral superiority, moral high-ground, self-righteousness, and inclusion in a group they believe to be above others that they're after, regardless of facts, regardless of the situation, regardless of past and present, and regardless of the negative effects and consequences they have on others.
http://refulgentcoleman.blogspot.com/2014/06/power-tripping-self-righteousness-on.html
Imbalance Of Power In Culture
The
more controlling and codependent a culture or community is, the more
gender stereotypes, gender roles, assigned higher or lower status due to
gender, and favoritism, elitism, inequity, and prejudice for or against
each gender are present.
Strangely, it is not just the group that's favored that continues to reinforce these dysfunctions, but also members of the group that's discriminated against.
The reason for this is mainly the same as in racially imbalanced communities; Bullies who are members of the oppressed group can't bully those in the "favored" group, so they bully those in their own group instead, helping the oppression process.
Also, Controllers in the oppressed group often use the present imbalanced "hierarchy" for personal agendas and gain, either on a personal ("catty") level, or on a material level.
On top of that, those who are insecure, fearful, or resentful often project inferiority and weakness onto other members of their own group, contributing to the cultural false belief that the oppressed group is indeed inferior to the favored group.
Imbalanced power in a culture or community is usually either accomplished by extremely dysfunctional violent and threatening behavior by members of the group that seeks control over the other, or through passed on cultural fairy tales about who is capable of what, and who is not capable of it, and rationalizations about who is entitled to control and power.
Healthy, prosperous, long-lived, peaceful, happy, science-oriented and spiritually respectful cultures throughout history, wherever and whoever they were, have made it their priority to keep "power" balanced and fair for all members of the society, and to protect the freedom and well-being of every adult, and care for the well-being and mental and emotional growth of the children.
"Think not forever of yourselves, O Chiefs, nor of your own generation. Think of continuing generations of our families; think of our grandchildren and of those yet unborn, whose faces are coming from beneath the ground."
Dekanawida, Peacemaker, Founder Of The Iroquois Confederacy
Strangely, it is not just the group that's favored that continues to reinforce these dysfunctions, but also members of the group that's discriminated against.
The reason for this is mainly the same as in racially imbalanced communities; Bullies who are members of the oppressed group can't bully those in the "favored" group, so they bully those in their own group instead, helping the oppression process.
Also, Controllers in the oppressed group often use the present imbalanced "hierarchy" for personal agendas and gain, either on a personal ("catty") level, or on a material level.
On top of that, those who are insecure, fearful, or resentful often project inferiority and weakness onto other members of their own group, contributing to the cultural false belief that the oppressed group is indeed inferior to the favored group.
Imbalanced power in a culture or community is usually either accomplished by extremely dysfunctional violent and threatening behavior by members of the group that seeks control over the other, or through passed on cultural fairy tales about who is capable of what, and who is not capable of it, and rationalizations about who is entitled to control and power.
Healthy, prosperous, long-lived, peaceful, happy, science-oriented and spiritually respectful cultures throughout history, wherever and whoever they were, have made it their priority to keep "power" balanced and fair for all members of the society, and to protect the freedom and well-being of every adult, and care for the well-being and mental and emotional growth of the children.
"Think not forever of yourselves, O Chiefs, nor of your own generation. Think of continuing generations of our families; think of our grandchildren and of those yet unborn, whose faces are coming from beneath the ground."
Dekanawida, Peacemaker, Founder Of The Iroquois Confederacy
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