Discover who another is; find out what another has seen, what they have learned, what their fears are and their love. Discover, don't assume and expect; don't try to make them fit in the coffin you have made for them. Every expectation of yours they don't meet you will see as failure, and every expectation they exceed you will see as pompousness. You did not create the other, you are not privy to all of the circuitry of their minds, or the soft spots in their hearts, or the map of their souls. Let go of what you think they should be and discover who they are.