Reality Check On Sexism Toward Women
The real reason that men continue to have more power and success than women, overall, is really simple:
Men promote and support other men, and network with each other, and give each other jobs and opportunities and help.
Women promote and support men, and network with men, seeking opportunities, jobs and help.
Both sexes promote and support men, and seek opportunities and approval from men they admire.
That's pretty much the whole ball of wax. If men only supported men, so what~ they're only half of the population. The imbalance is that women are much more supportive and approving of men than of each other. Women compete with each other, and don't give opportunities to or give a leg-up to other women, because... they're competing with each other... It's not weird or unnatural for men to favor their own kind. It's lame, sure, but what's super-lame is how women do not promote and support and help one another, but promote the crap out of men they like and admire, or want approval from, and throw their own kind under the bus.
Men promote and support other men, and network with each other, and give each other jobs and opportunities and help.
Women promote and support men, and network with men, seeking opportunities, jobs and help.
Both sexes promote and support men, and seek opportunities and approval from men they admire.
That's pretty much the whole ball of wax. If men only supported men, so what~ they're only half of the population. The imbalance is that women are much more supportive and approving of men than of each other. Women compete with each other, and don't give opportunities to or give a leg-up to other women, because... they're competing with each other... It's not weird or unnatural for men to favor their own kind. It's lame, sure, but what's super-lame is how women do not promote and support and help one another, but promote the crap out of men they like and admire, or want approval from, and throw their own kind under the bus.
Are men bigger than women or not?
It's a funny thing, how people remember that men are on average stronger
and larger than women when they want to exalt them. But when there is
any kind of negative treatment between a man and a woman, suddenly those
same people change their tune and speak of the two as if they are equal
in size and strength. So, when it comes to men accomplishing things,
they are big hulking strong MEN, so much mo...re
capable than tiny weak women... but when it comes to altercations,
those same big hulking strong MEN are apparently, suddenly, NOT... the
poor guy did you see what she said to him, he HAD to hit her... she
would have beat him senseless... with her words... let's analyze that one, shall we?
If you have been worrying
about what others say or think about you, remember the peace of mind you
seek is not to be found in other's approval, but simply inside
yourself. Take time to watch the flowers grow and hear the birds sing.
Jyoti McKie
http://www.mydivination.com/ViewReading.mdv?Spread=f93b9b34d822ec60fe7e7edfe830890f&
Jyoti McKie
http://www.mydivination.com/ViewReading.mdv?Spread=f93b9b34d822ec60fe7e7edfe830890f&
Crazy making
There is a cluster of behaviors that many people have, and the number of people with these behaviors seems to be growing. The reason for the growing number may be as simple as cause and effect, being around people who behave a certain way "rubs off" for a number of reasons, human mimicry being one, and reaction to adverse behavior toward us being another.
A short list of some of these behaviors:
He or she is consistently late, which is not the issue; the behavior is their insistence on having an "important reason" every single time, and a firm expectation of forgiveness, every single time. However, when you are late, your reason may or may not be "good enough", and you may or may not receive "forgiveness".
He or she wants to know where you are, what you're doing, and who you're with, more often than seems comfortable. However, he or she withholds the same information about themselves from you, even going places they know you like, with mutual friends, and not telling you about it.
He or she uses your things, sometimes asking first, sometimes not, but always with a "valid reason". And they often do not return your things, or even try to pretend that they are now the owner of your things by way of simply possessing them.
He or she has all kinds of "serious" problems that they need to air and talk about frequently, and they expect your full attention and sympathy for every one of these problems. However, your problems do not ever receive the same attention and sympathy, or even acknowledgment, no matter how severe.
He or she tries to diminish or dismiss your abilities, your talent, your observations, your intuition, your judgment, your ideas, or your future prospects. They seem to have a need to show that they are more capable than you, or that you are less capable than someone else.
He or she talks about themselves a lot; scheduled tasks, unscheduled tasks, plans for the near future, plans for the far future, events from the past and present, who they have seen and spoken to recently. He or she also avoids conversation about you or your life, and has a habit of diverting any topic you bring up back to either themselves or how the topic relates to themselves. He or she may not like to stay on topic for very long at all, unless it is about themselves.
He or she gives unsolicited advice, opinions, and judgments a lot. If you make a statement, or express an observation, the subject will be immediately diverted to a subject they feel comfortable with. If you express an opinion, if their opinion on the subject is not in alignment with yours, you are simply "wrong"; he or she does not understand the difference between objective facts and subjective opinions. He or she believes apparently that whatever they like is "Good", and whatever they don't like is "Bad". Whatever they agree with is "Right", and whatever they don't agree with is "Wrong". They will not listen to your point of view, because they already believe that your point of view is "Wrong" and that theirs is "Right".
He or she does not value the opinion, observation, knowledge or point of view of anyone they see as not being "Above" themselves; he or she creates hierarchy in their imagination, and then lives by this hierarchy, only listening to those they have placed "Above" themselves. If you have a master's degree, a doctorate, a PhD and 25 years experience in physics, he or she will dismiss your opinion completely if they have not placed you in an "Above" position in their imaginary hierarchy, but WILL listen with all ears to a random person who they have placed in an "Above" position. Many people do this with tradespeople; they will listen to a male auto mechanic who just graduated trade school over an expert female auto mechanic, or they will listen to a taller carpenter over a smaller one, regardless of which is the actual lead carpenter, or they will listen to an older plumber over a younger one regardless of which one is actually highly skilled. He or she will assume the nurse with the largest stature is the head nurse, and will assume the tallest man at the bank is the manager. This is an arrested maturity development and is for some reason very common in modern culture, not just within this cluster of behaviors.
He or she does not want you to be friends with certain people; you find that you are often left out of different social gatherings, even ones that involve people you are already acquainted with. This is because the person can not A). talk about you if you're there B). has already talked about you and doesn't want you to find out C) has hidden agendas with these people that he or she wants to keep secret from you D) acts differently around different people in order to fit in with them, and doesn't want anyone to catch on E) is afraid other people will like you better.
He or she goes around to lots of people who know you when you have an altercation, even friends of yours who they don't know well, even people who they know have caused you harm, and try to create bonds of friendship with them, and/or make subtle innuendos about you in order to covertly paint you in a negative light. Sometimes there will simply be blatant gossip and backstabbing. This is to paint themselves in an innocent and glorified light, and create a false picture of who is the "victim" and who is the "bad person". This is not the same as asking a friend to intercede or to help with a difficult situation, but it can be done under the guise of that. The difference is clear if one pays attention; one is actually asking for help, the other is simply talking trash.
He or she PROJECTS his or her own "faults" onto others, even onto you, right to your face. It is as if the faults can be transferred from themselves and put onto another person. So the cheater will accuse you of cheating, the thief will accuse you of stealing, the liar will accuse you of lying, the self-centered prince or princess will accuse you of being self-centered, the abuser will accuse you of being abusive, the flirt will accuse you of flirting, the promiscuous one will tell people that you are promiscuous, the know-it-all will accuse you of being a know-it-all. Etc. The confusing part of this one is that a person who does sincere self-examination will be blindsided by this, since they already have found some of these traits in themselves, so at first the accusations feel like they hit some deep and hidden mark. However. After a few too many of these projection bouts, one realizes that some of the accusations are WAY off the mark, and then realization begins to dawn.
He or she creates hostile environments, making enemies out of different groups, spreading propaganda from one group to another, making an atmosphere of drama and side-taking.
He or she may display aggression, hostility, controlling behavior, or abusive language, and then firmly expects full forgiveness for these displays, no matter how much damage they caused to you or your life. They seem to feel entitled to be forgiven for any transgressions, they seem to believe that the burden of "being a good person" falls SOLELY on your shoulders; they apparently feel exempt from having to live up to their own parameters of being a "good person". In addition, any transgression you make will be magnified and held against you over and over, in order to demonstrate that you are "not a good person".
You can apply these behavior traits to lots and lots of people, friends, family, coworkers, professionals, and those in the media, and politics. Most of us have at one time or another done one of two of these, but some do many of these on a regular basis. The reasons behind the behavior are often simply an abusive or dysfunctional childhood; it doesn't have to be parents who created the dysfunction, it can be people and society around us. Coping with dysfunctional people often leads to dysfunctional coping skills, especially if there is a scarcity of actual healthy role models. Coaches and teachers who display disrespect toward their team members and students, or who use disrespectful language to motivate (you throw/run/whine like a girl, or other disparaging comments about others, for example) are not healthy role models, they help to cause these dysfunctional coping mechanisms, and to create a hostile atmosphere.
If you want to learn more about these behaviors in yourself or someone else, search "Crazy making", and read the various articles you find. But don't let what you find on the internet be your end-all source of information, pay attention yourself to the dynamics around you.
A short list of some of these behaviors:
He or she is consistently late, which is not the issue; the behavior is their insistence on having an "important reason" every single time, and a firm expectation of forgiveness, every single time. However, when you are late, your reason may or may not be "good enough", and you may or may not receive "forgiveness".
He or she wants to know where you are, what you're doing, and who you're with, more often than seems comfortable. However, he or she withholds the same information about themselves from you, even going places they know you like, with mutual friends, and not telling you about it.
He or she uses your things, sometimes asking first, sometimes not, but always with a "valid reason". And they often do not return your things, or even try to pretend that they are now the owner of your things by way of simply possessing them.
He or she has all kinds of "serious" problems that they need to air and talk about frequently, and they expect your full attention and sympathy for every one of these problems. However, your problems do not ever receive the same attention and sympathy, or even acknowledgment, no matter how severe.
He or she tries to diminish or dismiss your abilities, your talent, your observations, your intuition, your judgment, your ideas, or your future prospects. They seem to have a need to show that they are more capable than you, or that you are less capable than someone else.
He or she talks about themselves a lot; scheduled tasks, unscheduled tasks, plans for the near future, plans for the far future, events from the past and present, who they have seen and spoken to recently. He or she also avoids conversation about you or your life, and has a habit of diverting any topic you bring up back to either themselves or how the topic relates to themselves. He or she may not like to stay on topic for very long at all, unless it is about themselves.
He or she gives unsolicited advice, opinions, and judgments a lot. If you make a statement, or express an observation, the subject will be immediately diverted to a subject they feel comfortable with. If you express an opinion, if their opinion on the subject is not in alignment with yours, you are simply "wrong"; he or she does not understand the difference between objective facts and subjective opinions. He or she believes apparently that whatever they like is "Good", and whatever they don't like is "Bad". Whatever they agree with is "Right", and whatever they don't agree with is "Wrong". They will not listen to your point of view, because they already believe that your point of view is "Wrong" and that theirs is "Right".
He or she does not value the opinion, observation, knowledge or point of view of anyone they see as not being "Above" themselves; he or she creates hierarchy in their imagination, and then lives by this hierarchy, only listening to those they have placed "Above" themselves. If you have a master's degree, a doctorate, a PhD and 25 years experience in physics, he or she will dismiss your opinion completely if they have not placed you in an "Above" position in their imaginary hierarchy, but WILL listen with all ears to a random person who they have placed in an "Above" position. Many people do this with tradespeople; they will listen to a male auto mechanic who just graduated trade school over an expert female auto mechanic, or they will listen to a taller carpenter over a smaller one, regardless of which is the actual lead carpenter, or they will listen to an older plumber over a younger one regardless of which one is actually highly skilled. He or she will assume the nurse with the largest stature is the head nurse, and will assume the tallest man at the bank is the manager. This is an arrested maturity development and is for some reason very common in modern culture, not just within this cluster of behaviors.
He or she does not want you to be friends with certain people; you find that you are often left out of different social gatherings, even ones that involve people you are already acquainted with. This is because the person can not A). talk about you if you're there B). has already talked about you and doesn't want you to find out C) has hidden agendas with these people that he or she wants to keep secret from you D) acts differently around different people in order to fit in with them, and doesn't want anyone to catch on E) is afraid other people will like you better.
He or she goes around to lots of people who know you when you have an altercation, even friends of yours who they don't know well, even people who they know have caused you harm, and try to create bonds of friendship with them, and/or make subtle innuendos about you in order to covertly paint you in a negative light. Sometimes there will simply be blatant gossip and backstabbing. This is to paint themselves in an innocent and glorified light, and create a false picture of who is the "victim" and who is the "bad person". This is not the same as asking a friend to intercede or to help with a difficult situation, but it can be done under the guise of that. The difference is clear if one pays attention; one is actually asking for help, the other is simply talking trash.
He or she PROJECTS his or her own "faults" onto others, even onto you, right to your face. It is as if the faults can be transferred from themselves and put onto another person. So the cheater will accuse you of cheating, the thief will accuse you of stealing, the liar will accuse you of lying, the self-centered prince or princess will accuse you of being self-centered, the abuser will accuse you of being abusive, the flirt will accuse you of flirting, the promiscuous one will tell people that you are promiscuous, the know-it-all will accuse you of being a know-it-all. Etc. The confusing part of this one is that a person who does sincere self-examination will be blindsided by this, since they already have found some of these traits in themselves, so at first the accusations feel like they hit some deep and hidden mark. However. After a few too many of these projection bouts, one realizes that some of the accusations are WAY off the mark, and then realization begins to dawn.
He or she creates hostile environments, making enemies out of different groups, spreading propaganda from one group to another, making an atmosphere of drama and side-taking.
He or she may display aggression, hostility, controlling behavior, or abusive language, and then firmly expects full forgiveness for these displays, no matter how much damage they caused to you or your life. They seem to feel entitled to be forgiven for any transgressions, they seem to believe that the burden of "being a good person" falls SOLELY on your shoulders; they apparently feel exempt from having to live up to their own parameters of being a "good person". In addition, any transgression you make will be magnified and held against you over and over, in order to demonstrate that you are "not a good person".
You can apply these behavior traits to lots and lots of people, friends, family, coworkers, professionals, and those in the media, and politics. Most of us have at one time or another done one of two of these, but some do many of these on a regular basis. The reasons behind the behavior are often simply an abusive or dysfunctional childhood; it doesn't have to be parents who created the dysfunction, it can be people and society around us. Coping with dysfunctional people often leads to dysfunctional coping skills, especially if there is a scarcity of actual healthy role models. Coaches and teachers who display disrespect toward their team members and students, or who use disrespectful language to motivate (you throw/run/whine like a girl, or other disparaging comments about others, for example) are not healthy role models, they help to cause these dysfunctional coping mechanisms, and to create a hostile atmosphere.
If you want to learn more about these behaviors in yourself or someone else, search "Crazy making", and read the various articles you find. But don't let what you find on the internet be your end-all source of information, pay attention yourself to the dynamics around you.
What is Sexism?
It's not sexism if you don't go to a woman's baseball game. It is sexism if you don't want them to play.
It's not sexism if a woman tries out for a team and does not make it based on her performance. It is sexism if she is not given an opportunity to try out in the first place because of her gender. It is sexism when she meets the same criteria that men have met in order to pass the try out, but is rejected anyway due to some made-up reason, like children do before they learn about fairness and integrity.
It's not sexism if a man is not hired as a grade school teacher because someone more qualified is hired for the position. It is sexism if a man is not hired as a grade school teacher because someone is "uncomfortable" with a man being around young children.
It's not sexism if a woman tries out for a team and does not make it based on her performance. It is sexism if she is not given an opportunity to try out in the first place because of her gender. It is sexism when she meets the same criteria that men have met in order to pass the try out, but is rejected anyway due to some made-up reason, like children do before they learn about fairness and integrity.
It's not sexism if a man is not hired as a grade school teacher because someone more qualified is hired for the position. It is sexism if a man is not hired as a grade school teacher because someone is "uncomfortable" with a man being around young children.
Blame Culture = Blame Avoidance Culture
Avoiding blame is something children outgrow in a healthy environment. They learn not to blame brother of sister for taking the cookie, and they learn why it's important. They learn that when they were caught taking the cookie without asking, that the action was their own, they chose to do it, and that when Mom sent them to their room, it was not Mom doing something "mean" to them, or being unfair; they learn that their action had a consequence. They learn why it's wrong to cheat, and they learn the rewards of self-respect and respecting others. However in modern culture, there is a growing trend of blame avoidance in adults, who apparently never learned to take responsibility for their actions. This points to a culture where children who avoided blame were rewarded more than for being accountable for their actions. In a bully culture where bullying goes unchecked, children will receive negative attention for positive, forward thinking, respectful behavior. The only rewards in a bully culture a child receives is from pleasing the bullies around them, whether they be other children, adults, or both. Since bullies are intrinsically immature, a mature response by a child will be met with derision, ridicule, and often verbal or even physical abuse. Taking responsibility for one's actions will be rewarded or punished based on the bully's MOOD AT THE TIME, and also on the bully's personal perception of how the situation affects him or herself. Bullies do not think objectively, their concern is only how something or someone affects themselves for good or ill. Not about how something affects another, in a personal way or in a big picture way. Bullies make a habit of blame-shifting, putting the blame for something they did to cause pain or difficulty on others; their goal is to always be without blame, and they magnify blame on others, whether the blame was shifted onto a person or whether they took responsibility themselves. In this way, a Bully Culture inevitably creates a Blame Culture, where more people avoid blame, and shift it onto someone or something else. Nothing gets resolved, nothing gets fixed, quality control and quality of life goes down the tubes. This leads to the breakdown of the society.
"Victim blaming is holding the victims of a crime, an accident, or any type of abusive maltreatment to be entirely or partially responsible for the unfortunate incident that has occurred in their life.
"Blame shifting
"Blaming others can lead to a "kick-the-dog effect" where individuals in a hierarchy [or who think they are in a hierarchy] blame their immediate subordinate,[or who they fantasize to be their subordinate], and this propagates down the [real or imagined] hierarchy until the lowest rung (the "dog"). A 2009 experimental study has shown that blaming can be contagious even for uninvolved onlookers.
"We constantly consciously and unconsciously make judgments about other people. Our basis for judging others may be partly ingrained, negative and rigid indicating some degree of grandiosity.
Blaming is also a way of devaluing others. The end result is that the blamer feels superior. Others are seen as less worthwhile making the blamer "perfect". Off-loading blame means putting the other person down by emphasizing his or her flaws.[1] ...
Read further about blame:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blame
"Victim blaming is holding the victims of a crime, an accident, or any type of abusive maltreatment to be entirely or partially responsible for the unfortunate incident that has occurred in their life.
"Blame shifting
"Blaming others can lead to a "kick-the-dog effect" where individuals in a hierarchy [or who think they are in a hierarchy] blame their immediate subordinate,[or who they fantasize to be their subordinate], and this propagates down the [real or imagined] hierarchy until the lowest rung (the "dog"). A 2009 experimental study has shown that blaming can be contagious even for uninvolved onlookers.
"We constantly consciously and unconsciously make judgments about other people. Our basis for judging others may be partly ingrained, negative and rigid indicating some degree of grandiosity.
Blaming is also a way of devaluing others. The end result is that the blamer feels superior. Others are seen as less worthwhile making the blamer "perfect". Off-loading blame means putting the other person down by emphasizing his or her flaws.[1] ...
Read further about blame:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blame
MIMULUS
Mimulus (
/ˈmɪmjuːləs/)[1] is a diverse plant genus, the monkey-flowers and musk-flowers. The about 150 species are currently placed in the family Phrymaceae. The genus has traditionally been placed in Scrophulariaceae. The removal of Mimulus from that family has been supported by studies of chloroplast DNA first published in the mid-1990s[citation needed]. Multiple studies of chloroplast DNA and two regions of nuclear rDNA[2] suggest that the genera Phryma, Berendtiella, Hemichaena, Leucocarpus, Microcarpeae, Peplidium, Glossostigma, and Elacholoma are all derived from within Mimulus and would need to be rearranged.
It is recognized that there are two large groups of Mimulus species, with the largest group of species in western North America, and a second group with center of diversity in Australia. A few species also extend into eastern North America, eastern Asia and southern Africa. This enlarged group is a part of the newly redefined Phrymaceae.
Mimulus is the remedy for known fears. Whenever you are frightened or anxious about something, and you can say what that 'something' is, then Mimulus is the remedy to take.
Mimulus fears are those of every day: fear of public speaking, of the dark, of aggressive dogs, of illness and pain. Phobias can also be Mimulus fears if the cause of the fear - whether spiders, birds or open spaces - can be named. Rock Rose might be preferred where the phobia causes real terror. Where the fear is vague and there is general anxiety and apprehension without a specific named cause, there Aspen might be a better choice.
Mimulus is used as a type or personality remedy for those of us who tend generally to be nervous, timid and shy. We might blush easily or stammer, and will usually avoid social occasions and any event where we will be in the limelight.
Mimulus brings out the quiet courage and strength that lies hidden in all of us, so that we can face the everyday trials of life without fear.
Fear of worldly things, illness, pain, accidents, poverty, of dark, of being alone, of misfortune. The fears of everyday life. These people quietly and secretly bear their dread, they do not freely speak of it to others.
- The Twelve Healers and Other Remedies
/ˈmɪmjuːləs/)[1] is a diverse plant genus, the monkey-flowers and musk-flowers. The about 150 species are currently placed in the family Phrymaceae. The genus has traditionally been placed in Scrophulariaceae. The removal of Mimulus from that family has been supported by studies of chloroplast DNA first published in the mid-1990s[citation needed]. Multiple studies of chloroplast DNA and two regions of nuclear rDNA[2] suggest that the genera Phryma, Berendtiella, Hemichaena, Leucocarpus, Microcarpeae, Peplidium, Glossostigma, and Elacholoma are all derived from within Mimulus and would need to be rearranged.It is recognized that there are two large groups of Mimulus species, with the largest group of species in western North America, and a second group with center of diversity in Australia. A few species also extend into eastern North America, eastern Asia and southern Africa. This enlarged group is a part of the newly redefined Phrymaceae.
Mimulus is the remedy for known fears. Whenever you are frightened or anxious about something, and you can say what that 'something' is, then Mimulus is the remedy to take.
Mimulus fears are those of every day: fear of public speaking, of the dark, of aggressive dogs, of illness and pain. Phobias can also be Mimulus fears if the cause of the fear - whether spiders, birds or open spaces - can be named. Rock Rose might be preferred where the phobia causes real terror. Where the fear is vague and there is general anxiety and apprehension without a specific named cause, there Aspen might be a better choice.
Mimulus is used as a type or personality remedy for those of us who tend generally to be nervous, timid and shy. We might blush easily or stammer, and will usually avoid social occasions and any event where we will be in the limelight.
Mimulus brings out the quiet courage and strength that lies hidden in all of us, so that we can face the everyday trials of life without fear.
Dr Bach's description
Fear of worldly things, illness, pain, accidents, poverty, of dark, of being alone, of misfortune. The fears of everyday life. These people quietly and secretly bear their dread, they do not freely speak of it to others.- The Twelve Healers and Other Remedies
Spiritual Warfare
Prayers to dispel evil spirits. This a collection of prayers to protect one's self from evil, to eradicate and cleanse one's own person and one's environment.
footnote for trolls: If you are seeking some reason to "discredit" and attack these prayers, you will find it. Learning to understand the phrase "one bad apple doesn't spoil the whole barrel" is essential to reaching mental adulthood. In other words, you can always find something that is "wrong" in absolutely anything, just like something "wrong" can be found in anything about you, or that you like. That is an obvious fact of life, no matter what you are doing, no matter what you are looking at. Dirt on a camera lens doesn't make the camera lens rotten. You need to learn to know the difference so you don't throw out something valuable because there is dirt on it.
http://www.catholicwarriors.com/pages/warfare_prayers.htm
footnote for trolls: If you are seeking some reason to "discredit" and attack these prayers, you will find it. Learning to understand the phrase "one bad apple doesn't spoil the whole barrel" is essential to reaching mental adulthood. In other words, you can always find something that is "wrong" in absolutely anything, just like something "wrong" can be found in anything about you, or that you like. That is an obvious fact of life, no matter what you are doing, no matter what you are looking at. Dirt on a camera lens doesn't make the camera lens rotten. You need to learn to know the difference so you don't throw out something valuable because there is dirt on it.
http://www.catholicwarriors.com/pages/warfare_prayers.htm
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