A lovely and honest look at why we humans seem to focus on gaining the approval of those who show no interest in giving it, click here:
http://www.thoughtsandramblings.com/?p=1741
My thoughts on the subject are in line with the author's, and I would add (which I did when I shared it elsewhere):
although, in a primate social group in the middle of the dangerous forest, the jerk is often the leader, or approved of by the leader. BECAUSE... if there is a jerk in the tribe/group, he should have been kicked out or at least punished and knocked off his jerk horse. If he is still freely being a jerk, that means he has some kind of power. SO, receiving the approval of this jerk means A) not getting picked on by him and B) not getting ostracized by the group. The group will gang up on you if the leader turns on you. THEREFORE getting approval of a Freely Roaming Jerk might actually be a primate survival instinct. And it is one that is frequently exploited by control freak jerks, and you will notice it works really well on most human beans. (Except of course for those with certain Asperger's or Asperger-like traits, such as not noticing who thinks they are the leader of the group, or the social cues that apparently tip off "Normal Thinkers" into believing that the Jerk has some kind of intrinsic entitlement to "Approve" or "Withhold Approval". We just don't care!)
http://www.thoughtsandramblings.com/?p=1741
My thoughts on the subject are in line with the author's, and I would add (which I did when I shared it elsewhere):
although, in a primate social group in the middle of the dangerous forest, the jerk is often the leader, or approved of by the leader. BECAUSE... if there is a jerk in the tribe/group, he should have been kicked out or at least punished and knocked off his jerk horse. If he is still freely being a jerk, that means he has some kind of power. SO, receiving the approval of this jerk means A) not getting picked on by him and B) not getting ostracized by the group. The group will gang up on you if the leader turns on you. THEREFORE getting approval of a Freely Roaming Jerk might actually be a primate survival instinct. And it is one that is frequently exploited by control freak jerks, and you will notice it works really well on most human beans. (Except of course for those with certain Asperger's or Asperger-like traits, such as not noticing who thinks they are the leader of the group, or the social cues that apparently tip off "Normal Thinkers" into believing that the Jerk has some kind of intrinsic entitlement to "Approve" or "Withhold Approval". We just don't care!)
