What is it like having Narcissists in your family?
Picture being chased by a Grizzly Bear for 5 miles, falling and breaking your ankle; you make it home, the bear close on your heels; you are pounding on the door, yelling "open the door"! The N parent, sibling, or partner takes their time shuffling across the room, looking out the window, looking through the peephole, saying "who is it?"... eventually opening the door, annoyed at your yelling. They criticize the mud on your shoes and call you lazy when you collapse in a chair. They call you paranoid when you tell them to bolt the door, and refuse to look out the window to see if there is a bear outside. When you try to explain what happened, they accuse you of antagonizing the bear. They offer no sympathy, help, or even water, and probably just go back to whatever they were doing. You need a drink of water, so you limp to the kitchen; you can't reach the glasses, so you ask for help; they get you a glass, but huff and puff and roll their eyes.. you are so pathetic. They say "you should not have been near the woods". When you tell them that you weren't near the woods, that it came out of nowhere, they say "Yeah right". When you cry out in pain from your ankle, they say "You're just trying to get attention." When you ask for a ride to the hospital, (no they have not offered), they are too busy helping their friend decide what color carpeting to put in their living room, you are interrupting their important discussion with their important friend. You have to call a cab and spend your last $20. They will not come and visit you at the hospital, even if you are kept for three days. They might call you to get information in case someone asks where you are. If they do end up going to the hospital, they will stay very briefly, not really talk to you, and might imply to the staff that you are crazy or "difficult". When you get home, they will not let you recuperate, they will constantly tell you to do something, or imply that you are being lazy for laying around, or that you should just GET OVER IT. If you try to talk to them about any of this they will become angry. Your ankle will take much longer to heal because you keep getting up to get the N's demands done, or leaving to try to avoid their wrath. If they do bring you anything to eat, or tend to you, it will not be what you requested or needed, but it will be what they felt like making or doing. If you wanted chicken soup, you will be getting meatball soup, the kind you hate. And if you don't like it, you're a spoiled brat. (They are only tending to you in order to be able to say that they did it.) You may lose your job because when you went to the hospital, your manager called your house; the N picked up and said they hadn't seen you, but you were probably just fine, and that they would have you call when you got in. The N told your friend the same thing when they called, not that you were at the hospital with a broken ankle. The N tells no one where you are, or what happened, unless they think the person already knows. When people see you limp, the N will start telling them that you have made up another crazy story to get attention, and you are making their lives even harder with your "ankle issue", OR they will change the entire story and make themselves the "hero" who saved you, and has been caring for you like Florence Nightingale.
Even if you were chased by a Grizzly Bear and survived, the story will STILL be all about the Narcissist.
Picture being chased by a Grizzly Bear for 5 miles, falling and breaking your ankle; you make it home, the bear close on your heels; you are pounding on the door, yelling "open the door"! The N parent, sibling, or partner takes their time shuffling across the room, looking out the window, looking through the peephole, saying "who is it?"... eventually opening the door, annoyed at your yelling. They criticize the mud on your shoes and call you lazy when you collapse in a chair. They call you paranoid when you tell them to bolt the door, and refuse to look out the window to see if there is a bear outside. When you try to explain what happened, they accuse you of antagonizing the bear. They offer no sympathy, help, or even water, and probably just go back to whatever they were doing. You need a drink of water, so you limp to the kitchen; you can't reach the glasses, so you ask for help; they get you a glass, but huff and puff and roll their eyes.. you are so pathetic. They say "you should not have been near the woods". When you tell them that you weren't near the woods, that it came out of nowhere, they say "Yeah right". When you cry out in pain from your ankle, they say "You're just trying to get attention." When you ask for a ride to the hospital, (no they have not offered), they are too busy helping their friend decide what color carpeting to put in their living room, you are interrupting their important discussion with their important friend. You have to call a cab and spend your last $20. They will not come and visit you at the hospital, even if you are kept for three days. They might call you to get information in case someone asks where you are. If they do end up going to the hospital, they will stay very briefly, not really talk to you, and might imply to the staff that you are crazy or "difficult". When you get home, they will not let you recuperate, they will constantly tell you to do something, or imply that you are being lazy for laying around, or that you should just GET OVER IT. If you try to talk to them about any of this they will become angry. Your ankle will take much longer to heal because you keep getting up to get the N's demands done, or leaving to try to avoid their wrath. If they do bring you anything to eat, or tend to you, it will not be what you requested or needed, but it will be what they felt like making or doing. If you wanted chicken soup, you will be getting meatball soup, the kind you hate. And if you don't like it, you're a spoiled brat. (They are only tending to you in order to be able to say that they did it.) You may lose your job because when you went to the hospital, your manager called your house; the N picked up and said they hadn't seen you, but you were probably just fine, and that they would have you call when you got in. The N told your friend the same thing when they called, not that you were at the hospital with a broken ankle. The N tells no one where you are, or what happened, unless they think the person already knows. When people see you limp, the N will start telling them that you have made up another crazy story to get attention, and you are making their lives even harder with your "ankle issue", OR they will change the entire story and make themselves the "hero" who saved you, and has been caring for you like Florence Nightingale.
Even if you were chased by a Grizzly Bear and survived, the story will STILL be all about the Narcissist.
