"ASK THE THERAPIST: 'WHY DO PEOPLE IGNORE ME' "
(Answer at the bottom of page)
Q. I don’t know why, but people ignore me all the time. I try to be friendly at work or what very little social situations I might be in, but when I speak, they just look away. I could be walking down a hallway at work, say hello to someone, they look right at me and keep walking. It makes me feel like I could die inside.
I attend a group exercise class 3 nights a week, and everyone talks out loud to the instructor or the rest of the class, but when I say something, everything goes quiet, and my comment is totally ignored.
I really am a friendly, funny and intelligent person. Being the last of 4 children in my family, I’ve learn to be the ‘comedian’. I tried that angle too, but to no avail.
I have absolutely no friends. My last ‘friend’ was in elementary school (I am 43 now), and I just recently found her contact info on a website, and we started communication, but now she won’t respond back to my last (only 2nd) email. I re-read it over and over to see what possibly could have turned her off, but I cannot find any reason.
My husband doesn’t understand. He is a very sociable guy. Men and women are naturally attracted to him. When we are with his friends, again – when I speak they just turn away and start speaking with him.
I sometimes think it’s a low self esteem issue, and that people might see right through it, and this somehow turns them off. I don’t know. I also noticed this happens much more with women than men. I don’t think I’m ‘trying too hard’, because I know that can be a turn off too.
I find myself fantasizing about how they would feel if I committed suicide or something. Please help.
ANSWER:
(revisited)
The answer is very simple, you are completely surrounded by what are called "Organic Portals". Humans devoid of self-awareness, they avoid humans who have full awareness. In order to deal with your presence as a fully aware Human, the only thing they can do is shut down and deny that you exist. Your awareness shows like a bright light, and they feel fear, so they react with denial. They know that you can see them, so their habits of social manipulation will not work on you. They feel exposed like a deer in a spotlight, so they try to hide from you by acting like they are invisible (deer and other animals do this as well). These Organic Portals do not practice what is commonly known in aware-human circles as "civility", "common courtesy", "empathy", or "grace". Without the ability to think in the abstract, they have limited cognition; they are mostly in survival mode, and live only within group-mind. In other words, they do not "think" on their own, they mimic those around them, and rely on positive or negative feedback from those they have frequent contact with in order to know what to do or say most of the time. They are usually anxious when alone, and will not respond to greetings or civility from non-OPs unless they fear consequences for not doing so. They rarely initiate polite speech or gestures unless they anticipate reward, or fear consequences. They respond to emergency by freezing and staring, or by running or hiding (you have probably seen the videos on YouTube where groups of them walk right over an injured man in the street, a woman who has had a stroke in a store, or watched without moving while a man drowned). They will not make a move to help another human, especially a non-OP, unless they have someone to follow. They often follow "bully" type personalities, which is why you so often see "leaders" of large groups who are obviously abusive; OP's are mesmerized by the bully personality, and display relief to have a "leader" to follow. Often they will fall to worshipping this "leader" as if he is a deity. (OPs usually follow males, especially tall males. If they have a choice between two males to follow, they will always pick the taller male with the deeper voice.)
You need to steer clear of this type of human, as they are known to create groups and become hostile. They are triggered easily, even just by noticing that you are not one of them can be enough. Their attacks can range from minor social discomfort to damaging the life and livelihood of their target. Some even more aggressive behavior can include physical attacks on property and even on your person. If you must come into contact with them, avoid their gaze, do not approach them directly; they consider this a challenge. Speak in soothing tones, compliment them subtly, try to mimic their body language and facial expressions, and do not engage them in any conversation unless they initiate it and lead it. Do not disagree with them or express an opinion or observation, unless you are sure it echoes something they have already said, or something their current "leader" has said. It is safest, however, to simply agree with everything they say, and avoid speaking first. Basically, remain aloof, but appear compliant and agreeable. Do not let them get close enough, either physically or relationship-wise, to see that you are not one of them. Your best bet is to simply seek out those like yourself so you can relax and speak freely, and enjoy real human interaction, which is pleasant, joyful, safe, polite, rejuvenating, and RECIPROCAL. In the meantime, be safe!
(artistic license in use)
(Answer at the bottom of page)
Q. I don’t know why, but people ignore me all the time. I try to be friendly at work or what very little social situations I might be in, but when I speak, they just look away. I could be walking down a hallway at work, say hello to someone, they look right at me and keep walking. It makes me feel like I could die inside.
I attend a group exercise class 3 nights a week, and everyone talks out loud to the instructor or the rest of the class, but when I say something, everything goes quiet, and my comment is totally ignored.
I really am a friendly, funny and intelligent person. Being the last of 4 children in my family, I’ve learn to be the ‘comedian’. I tried that angle too, but to no avail.
I have absolutely no friends. My last ‘friend’ was in elementary school (I am 43 now), and I just recently found her contact info on a website, and we started communication, but now she won’t respond back to my last (only 2nd) email. I re-read it over and over to see what possibly could have turned her off, but I cannot find any reason.
My husband doesn’t understand. He is a very sociable guy. Men and women are naturally attracted to him. When we are with his friends, again – when I speak they just turn away and start speaking with him.
I sometimes think it’s a low self esteem issue, and that people might see right through it, and this somehow turns them off. I don’t know. I also noticed this happens much more with women than men. I don’t think I’m ‘trying too hard’, because I know that can be a turn off too.
I find myself fantasizing about how they would feel if I committed suicide or something. Please help.
ANSWER:
(revisited)
The answer is very simple, you are completely surrounded by what are called "Organic Portals". Humans devoid of self-awareness, they avoid humans who have full awareness. In order to deal with your presence as a fully aware Human, the only thing they can do is shut down and deny that you exist. Your awareness shows like a bright light, and they feel fear, so they react with denial. They know that you can see them, so their habits of social manipulation will not work on you. They feel exposed like a deer in a spotlight, so they try to hide from you by acting like they are invisible (deer and other animals do this as well). These Organic Portals do not practice what is commonly known in aware-human circles as "civility", "common courtesy", "empathy", or "grace". Without the ability to think in the abstract, they have limited cognition; they are mostly in survival mode, and live only within group-mind. In other words, they do not "think" on their own, they mimic those around them, and rely on positive or negative feedback from those they have frequent contact with in order to know what to do or say most of the time. They are usually anxious when alone, and will not respond to greetings or civility from non-OPs unless they fear consequences for not doing so. They rarely initiate polite speech or gestures unless they anticipate reward, or fear consequences. They respond to emergency by freezing and staring, or by running or hiding (you have probably seen the videos on YouTube where groups of them walk right over an injured man in the street, a woman who has had a stroke in a store, or watched without moving while a man drowned). They will not make a move to help another human, especially a non-OP, unless they have someone to follow. They often follow "bully" type personalities, which is why you so often see "leaders" of large groups who are obviously abusive; OP's are mesmerized by the bully personality, and display relief to have a "leader" to follow. Often they will fall to worshipping this "leader" as if he is a deity. (OPs usually follow males, especially tall males. If they have a choice between two males to follow, they will always pick the taller male with the deeper voice.)
You need to steer clear of this type of human, as they are known to create groups and become hostile. They are triggered easily, even just by noticing that you are not one of them can be enough. Their attacks can range from minor social discomfort to damaging the life and livelihood of their target. Some even more aggressive behavior can include physical attacks on property and even on your person. If you must come into contact with them, avoid their gaze, do not approach them directly; they consider this a challenge. Speak in soothing tones, compliment them subtly, try to mimic their body language and facial expressions, and do not engage them in any conversation unless they initiate it and lead it. Do not disagree with them or express an opinion or observation, unless you are sure it echoes something they have already said, or something their current "leader" has said. It is safest, however, to simply agree with everything they say, and avoid speaking first. Basically, remain aloof, but appear compliant and agreeable. Do not let them get close enough, either physically or relationship-wise, to see that you are not one of them. Your best bet is to simply seek out those like yourself so you can relax and speak freely, and enjoy real human interaction, which is pleasant, joyful, safe, polite, rejuvenating, and RECIPROCAL. In the meantime, be safe!
(artistic license in use)
