thing healthy families and friends don't do is triangulate. They don't
gossip about one another, pit one against the other, or backstab each
other. They do not scapegoat members of their own family or friendship
group, they don't try to stand on "moral highground" and point down on
another member. They don't try to be seen as one of the "GOOD ONES" by
talking about another member as a "BAD" or "CRAZY" one. They don't go
along with someone else's attempts at character assassination, or with
exaggerating how awful another member is. All these things are the
hallmarks of very unhealthy families, and it shows in many ways.
Healthy families do things like stand up for each other, give to each
other, be proud of each other, talk highly of one another. If one member
is going through a hard time, they don't PUT THEM DOWN, they BUILD THEM
UP. If two members are having a hard time with each other, the goal is
PEACE for BOTH, not just for ONE, and not ostracism. There is no Golden
Child in a healthy family, and there are no black sheep (scapegoats).
They know that when every member is happy and healthy, it increases the
happiness and well-being of the entire family, including themselves.
Degrading one member degrades all members, just like polluting a pond.
Only those who don't get how pollution works continue to do it.