A very basic analogy of narcissism could be
seen as two people who meet; one of them speaks only French, the other
speaks only Spanish.
The Spanish speaking person wants the French speaker to learn Spanish so they can communicate easier, but literally has no interest in learning any French.
The Spanish speaking person wants their French speaking friend to come to all the holiday celebrations a...nd family gatherings, and sees this as being open and friendly, but refuses to go to any of the French speaker's holiday celebrations or family activities.
When the French speaker declines attending one of the Spanish celebrations, the Spanish speaker feels angry and indignant, "blown off", but completely fails to notice that he has railed against attending most of the events that the French speaker invited him to.
The French speaker, in broken Spanish, conveys to the Spanish speaker that it would be very helpful if the Spanish speaker learned how to speak some French, but the Spanish speaker basically shrugs the request off.
The Spanish speaker sees his life, his schedule, his experiences and his traditions as the "Real" Life, and sees the French speaker's life and all therein as not really significant or important in comparison, and certainly not as "Real". The Spanish speaker really believes that if the French speaker just forgot about his own less significant life and adapted to life with and just like the Spanish speaker, and acted the way the Spanish speaker wants him to act, and did everything he was told, he would be happy. It never occurs to him that the French speaker's life is just as REAL as his own already, and that his life is not more valid or important than the other's.
The Spanish speaker will become angry and actually accuse the French speaker of blow-off, betrayal, inconsiderate behavior, and even abuse when the French speaker does not continue to grant the Spanish speaker's wishes and comply with all requests. Even asking the Spanish speaker to make a small effort toward helping the communication and treating the French speaker with respect will often trigger the Spanish speaker to become angry, AS IF MEETING THE FRENCH SPEAKER HALFWAY ABOUT ANYTHING IS A TERRIBLE AND PAINFUL BURDEN, and that the French speaker is being cruel and untoward to even suggest such a thing.
The narcissist is a Royal who does not want to leave the security and safety of his or her palace, and gets offended and very upset when asked to do so, but fully expects others to leave their palaces unattended in order to fulfill his or her requests and expectations. This Royal does not meet others "halfway", would not sacrifice a sweetmeat to feed a starving subject, would not leave the comfort of their palace to be by a dying relative's side. Doesn't even know why a person would do those things.
The Spanish speaking person wants the French speaker to learn Spanish so they can communicate easier, but literally has no interest in learning any French.
The Spanish speaking person wants their French speaking friend to come to all the holiday celebrations a...nd family gatherings, and sees this as being open and friendly, but refuses to go to any of the French speaker's holiday celebrations or family activities.
When the French speaker declines attending one of the Spanish celebrations, the Spanish speaker feels angry and indignant, "blown off", but completely fails to notice that he has railed against attending most of the events that the French speaker invited him to.
The French speaker, in broken Spanish, conveys to the Spanish speaker that it would be very helpful if the Spanish speaker learned how to speak some French, but the Spanish speaker basically shrugs the request off.
The Spanish speaker sees his life, his schedule, his experiences and his traditions as the "Real" Life, and sees the French speaker's life and all therein as not really significant or important in comparison, and certainly not as "Real". The Spanish speaker really believes that if the French speaker just forgot about his own less significant life and adapted to life with and just like the Spanish speaker, and acted the way the Spanish speaker wants him to act, and did everything he was told, he would be happy. It never occurs to him that the French speaker's life is just as REAL as his own already, and that his life is not more valid or important than the other's.
The Spanish speaker will become angry and actually accuse the French speaker of blow-off, betrayal, inconsiderate behavior, and even abuse when the French speaker does not continue to grant the Spanish speaker's wishes and comply with all requests. Even asking the Spanish speaker to make a small effort toward helping the communication and treating the French speaker with respect will often trigger the Spanish speaker to become angry, AS IF MEETING THE FRENCH SPEAKER HALFWAY ABOUT ANYTHING IS A TERRIBLE AND PAINFUL BURDEN, and that the French speaker is being cruel and untoward to even suggest such a thing.
The narcissist is a Royal who does not want to leave the security and safety of his or her palace, and gets offended and very upset when asked to do so, but fully expects others to leave their palaces unattended in order to fulfill his or her requests and expectations. This Royal does not meet others "halfway", would not sacrifice a sweetmeat to feed a starving subject, would not leave the comfort of their palace to be by a dying relative's side. Doesn't even know why a person would do those things.
