Narcissists
are often in positions of control and power and have more worldly
success for the simple reason of skewed priorities. That's what they aim
for: control, power, and worldly success, and they just step OVER
everything and everyone else.
Their goal is not to learn everything they can about their field, their subject, or their job, and become very good at it just for the sake of doing the best they can, or their passion for their interests; nor is it to contribute to the well-being of their partners, children, families, friends and communities. It's just to WIN, to get theirs, to grab and maintain control, to be seen and known as a Bigger Fish, to get to be the boss.
Like doing an obstacle course race, but "winning" because they went around most of the obstacles. They didn't actually DO them, but they didn't get caught because they charmed the judges. Anyone who points out that they cheated will be called a whiner, a liar, or a poor loser by not only the narcissist but also the judges who fell for the "charisma".
They don't bother with things like giving credit where credit is due; they'll hide credit due to others, and take credit that's not theirs.
They don't pay attention to what kind of values a new "friend" has, it's the connections, charisma, or assets he or she has that matter.
They aren't going to risk being BORED in order to spend time or talk with some older or younger, poorer or richer, "smarter" or "dumber" family member, especially if they don't get to dictate what the plans are, aren't getting something tangible out of it, or aren't going to be the center of attention in some way.
They will NOT risk spending time with a person who they know they've treated disrespectfully in the past; they might have to actually deal with what they did or didn't do. If they have to spend time with that person, they will adamantly avoid genuine conversation.
They aren't going to "waste their time" or "risk their reputation" standing up for a person in their life who is being disrespected, harassed, or abused by someone else.
They don't "have time" to stop the car because they hit someone else's dog, they have a meeting to get to!
They don't have time to listen to the boring, silly, negative droning of others about their trivial trials and tribulations, they need that time to talk about their own big important problems! They don't have the time or patience to be "fair", to take account for their actions, or to self-examine.
They have places to go, connections to make, rooms and stages to dominate, thrills to catch, ego to inflate, ladders to climb, image to maintain, and money to see.
They "aim high" and they get there, because that's ALL they are aiming for. They eschew everything else.
They'll also be the ones to shame another person for aiming high and accuse them of being narcissistic, because that's the easiest way to knock out the "competition": convince them to stop trying. This shaming/bullying tactic only works well on non-narcissists... only non-narcissists will fall for it and drop out of the competition. Then those non-narcissists will be called "losers" by the narcissists who are still racing as fast and as hard as they can, to keep them from trying again.
At the finish line, most of those still in the race are those who didn't stop to help anyone, who knocked others down, tripped them, ambushed them, who ran over anyone in their path, who cheated as much as possible, who plied, charmed, and bribed the judges, and who left behind anyone who helped them in the dust. There will be some non-narcissists at the finish line as well, some of the strongest people we'll ever meet, but they won't be heard bragging about it. They'll just be grateful, and probably exhausted from dealing with the dramatic narcissists who turned what SHOULD HAVE BEEN a fascinating, fulfilling Nature Walk into a "Death Race" movie.
Their goal is not to learn everything they can about their field, their subject, or their job, and become very good at it just for the sake of doing the best they can, or their passion for their interests; nor is it to contribute to the well-being of their partners, children, families, friends and communities. It's just to WIN, to get theirs, to grab and maintain control, to be seen and known as a Bigger Fish, to get to be the boss.
Like doing an obstacle course race, but "winning" because they went around most of the obstacles. They didn't actually DO them, but they didn't get caught because they charmed the judges. Anyone who points out that they cheated will be called a whiner, a liar, or a poor loser by not only the narcissist but also the judges who fell for the "charisma".
They don't bother with things like giving credit where credit is due; they'll hide credit due to others, and take credit that's not theirs.
They don't pay attention to what kind of values a new "friend" has, it's the connections, charisma, or assets he or she has that matter.
They aren't going to risk being BORED in order to spend time or talk with some older or younger, poorer or richer, "smarter" or "dumber" family member, especially if they don't get to dictate what the plans are, aren't getting something tangible out of it, or aren't going to be the center of attention in some way.
They will NOT risk spending time with a person who they know they've treated disrespectfully in the past; they might have to actually deal with what they did or didn't do. If they have to spend time with that person, they will adamantly avoid genuine conversation.
They aren't going to "waste their time" or "risk their reputation" standing up for a person in their life who is being disrespected, harassed, or abused by someone else.
They don't "have time" to stop the car because they hit someone else's dog, they have a meeting to get to!
They don't have time to listen to the boring, silly, negative droning of others about their trivial trials and tribulations, they need that time to talk about their own big important problems! They don't have the time or patience to be "fair", to take account for their actions, or to self-examine.
They have places to go, connections to make, rooms and stages to dominate, thrills to catch, ego to inflate, ladders to climb, image to maintain, and money to see.
They "aim high" and they get there, because that's ALL they are aiming for. They eschew everything else.
They'll also be the ones to shame another person for aiming high and accuse them of being narcissistic, because that's the easiest way to knock out the "competition": convince them to stop trying. This shaming/bullying tactic only works well on non-narcissists... only non-narcissists will fall for it and drop out of the competition. Then those non-narcissists will be called "losers" by the narcissists who are still racing as fast and as hard as they can, to keep them from trying again.
At the finish line, most of those still in the race are those who didn't stop to help anyone, who knocked others down, tripped them, ambushed them, who ran over anyone in their path, who cheated as much as possible, who plied, charmed, and bribed the judges, and who left behind anyone who helped them in the dust. There will be some non-narcissists at the finish line as well, some of the strongest people we'll ever meet, but they won't be heard bragging about it. They'll just be grateful, and probably exhausted from dealing with the dramatic narcissists who turned what SHOULD HAVE BEEN a fascinating, fulfilling Nature Walk into a "Death Race" movie.
