That constant, continuous undertone of tension the controller seems to emit may likely be something they developed in childhood. They may have picked it up from someone else in the household, or they may have felt it themselves.
Many children grew up inside of a household where one of the adults was always wondering what another adult was going to do next, or not do next, or what they were doing while they were out. One parent might have been in a continual bad mood because either they have mood or control issues, or because the other parent has mood or control issues, or treated them with disrespect. A parent who is controlling or haughty often emits this tension constantly, and children in the house may try to "match the frequency" so they can feel normal.
Children who grow up in a household where one parent is gone a lot for any reason may develop this; they may be stressed for the absence of the parent, or their other parent may be stressed from it; and also those who had one parent who was physically ill, or another family member, especially if there was always some sense of foreboding, like something bad could happen at any moment.
Children who grew up in such an environment can adapt this constant thrum of tension and incorporate it into their personality, often feeling like it's the way one is supposed to feel when one is an adult, or when one is "responsible", or "in charge".
The feeling of "waiting for the other shoe to drop", or being worried that one's daily, normal behavior and actions will be judged and micro-managed, are symptoms of a controlling household. And that feeling can be incorporated into a child's regular every day personality. Without it, the person may feel like he or she is giving up their autonomy and personal power; they may actually believe it's part of being an adult human being. We all incorporate our childhood environment into our selves as we grow up, it's normal; so if this constant tension was present, it can easily be taken in by a person who grew up in it.
Many children grew up inside of a household where one of the adults was always wondering what another adult was going to do next, or not do next, or what they were doing while they were out. One parent might have been in a continual bad mood because either they have mood or control issues, or because the other parent has mood or control issues, or treated them with disrespect. A parent who is controlling or haughty often emits this tension constantly, and children in the house may try to "match the frequency" so they can feel normal.
Children who grow up in a household where one parent is gone a lot for any reason may develop this; they may be stressed for the absence of the parent, or their other parent may be stressed from it; and also those who had one parent who was physically ill, or another family member, especially if there was always some sense of foreboding, like something bad could happen at any moment.
Children who grew up in such an environment can adapt this constant thrum of tension and incorporate it into their personality, often feeling like it's the way one is supposed to feel when one is an adult, or when one is "responsible", or "in charge".
The feeling of "waiting for the other shoe to drop", or being worried that one's daily, normal behavior and actions will be judged and micro-managed, are symptoms of a controlling household. And that feeling can be incorporated into a child's regular every day personality. Without it, the person may feel like he or she is giving up their autonomy and personal power; they may actually believe it's part of being an adult human being. We all incorporate our childhood environment into our selves as we grow up, it's normal; so if this constant tension was present, it can easily be taken in by a person who grew up in it.
