If
you can picture something you have a "weakness" for~ such as chocolate,
or other sweets~ when you pass by the cookie tray, you know you
"shouldn't", but you take one anyway. Same with other things, like
breaking certain rules even though we know better, like turning right on
red at a light that says "No Right On Red", or speeding, or bringing
candy to the movie theater.
Now apply this "weakness" and "rule breaking" habits to relationships with PEOPLE. That's how Narcissists think.
"Well it's just one cookie".... Well, it's just one dance, just one sexually charged embrace, just one kiss, just one french kiss, just one bodily fluid exchange... no big DEAL... (as long as they get away with it... no one's going to find out, right? No harm no foul? What they don't know won't hurt them?...)
"The cashier didn't charge me for those socks, well it's just a couple of dollars".... Well, I didn't pay her back the money she loaned me, but I will eventually, when I get around to it, when I get some extra money, when I have nothing I want to buy for myself, it's just a few thousand dollars...
"It's normal not to tell your partner every little detail of your life when you're apart, you don't have to tell them every single thing"... Umm... I didn't tell you about buying the boat because I didn't think you'd mind... Umm... I didn't tell you about the party because you don't like that kind of thing.... Umm... I didn't tell you about the vacation with my "buddies" because, umm, you probably wouldn't want to go anyway... Uhh.. I didn't tell you about going to the bar with her/him because you don't really like that kind of atmosphere... Oh, I didn't tell you about the school play because I figured you'd be busy...
Because of their poor self-control and weak boundaries, many Narcissists become habitual liars in continuous covering up of their behaviors. They can become so habitual that they lose their awareness of the act of lying and fabrication, and end up living in a world of delusion that they fully expect others to SWALLOW. Amazingly, if someone does NOT swallow their Tall Tales, and even if they have irrefutable proof and several witnesses, the Narcissist will become ANGRY AT THEM. It's as if the non-believer is doing a HOSTILE DEED to them by "bursting their bubble", destroying their illusion. There is NO remorse for the trouble, disaster, and often devastation they have caused, their only emotion is about getting caught, and getting called out.
Now apply this "weakness" and "rule breaking" habits to relationships with PEOPLE. That's how Narcissists think.
"Well it's just one cookie".... Well, it's just one dance, just one sexually charged embrace, just one kiss, just one french kiss, just one bodily fluid exchange... no big DEAL... (as long as they get away with it... no one's going to find out, right? No harm no foul? What they don't know won't hurt them?...)
"The cashier didn't charge me for those socks, well it's just a couple of dollars".... Well, I didn't pay her back the money she loaned me, but I will eventually, when I get around to it, when I get some extra money, when I have nothing I want to buy for myself, it's just a few thousand dollars...
"It's normal not to tell your partner every little detail of your life when you're apart, you don't have to tell them every single thing"... Umm... I didn't tell you about buying the boat because I didn't think you'd mind... Umm... I didn't tell you about the party because you don't like that kind of thing.... Umm... I didn't tell you about the vacation with my "buddies" because, umm, you probably wouldn't want to go anyway... Uhh.. I didn't tell you about going to the bar with her/him because you don't really like that kind of atmosphere... Oh, I didn't tell you about the school play because I figured you'd be busy...
Because of their poor self-control and weak boundaries, many Narcissists become habitual liars in continuous covering up of their behaviors. They can become so habitual that they lose their awareness of the act of lying and fabrication, and end up living in a world of delusion that they fully expect others to SWALLOW. Amazingly, if someone does NOT swallow their Tall Tales, and even if they have irrefutable proof and several witnesses, the Narcissist will become ANGRY AT THEM. It's as if the non-believer is doing a HOSTILE DEED to them by "bursting their bubble", destroying their illusion. There is NO remorse for the trouble, disaster, and often devastation they have caused, their only emotion is about getting caught, and getting called out.
