People with Control issues and Narcissism issues like to TEST to see if they can get away with crossing the boundaries of other people, and how far they can get away with it.
Non-Controllers and Non-Narcissists don't do this, it's not an interest or a focus; they find out where a person's boundaries are, and they simply accept it, and live that way. It's no hardship to respect other people's boundaries, just like it's no hardship, or even a thought, to stay in one's lane on the Highway, or to follow basic established road rules. Non-Controllers do not feel "challenged" by every posted rule or law; they don't feel "controlled" by every person who has a position of authority, and they purposely RESPECT other people, and other people's boundaries, not with difficulty, but because it makes life in general much less DRAMATIC, better, and easier.
Controllers and Narcissists, however, are FOCUSED on crossing boundaries and breaking random rules or laws, testing to see how far they can go, seeing what they can "get away" with, and seeing how much CONTROL they can GAIN over other people.
They will AMP UP their boundary-crossing behavior with every "successful" attempt. So if you have a "policy" of "call me before you come over", for example, they will probably just "drop in" unannounced, just to see how you react, not just because they were in the area.
If you don't say anything, they'll probably see it as a "win", as a successful domination. If you DO say something, they'll either be dismissive toward you and "blow it off", or they'll react emotionally. A *Non-Narcissist would more likely be a little apologetic, not make a big deal about it, and not "blame" you.
*(On the other hand if you were mean about it, then a Non-Narcissist might react with emotion. This is under the assumption that you were polite when you mentioned it.)
A Controller or Narcissist doesn't just try to cross boundaries with specific, already chosen Targets, although their Targets are usually their main focus, trying to get further and further, trying to gain more and more control. They also do it often in the world, trying to FIND NEW targets. It's as if the whole world is a hallway with endless doors; they're always testing and jiggling the doorknobs to see which ones are open, which ones are locked, which locks can be easily "picked", and which doors have solid deadbolts.
MOST Controllers will avoid the doors with deadbolts, but some will consider it a "challenge" and try to break into them.
Non-Controllers and Non-Narcissists don't do this, it's not an interest or a focus; they find out where a person's boundaries are, and they simply accept it, and live that way. It's no hardship to respect other people's boundaries, just like it's no hardship, or even a thought, to stay in one's lane on the Highway, or to follow basic established road rules. Non-Controllers do not feel "challenged" by every posted rule or law; they don't feel "controlled" by every person who has a position of authority, and they purposely RESPECT other people, and other people's boundaries, not with difficulty, but because it makes life in general much less DRAMATIC, better, and easier.
Controllers and Narcissists, however, are FOCUSED on crossing boundaries and breaking random rules or laws, testing to see how far they can go, seeing what they can "get away" with, and seeing how much CONTROL they can GAIN over other people.
They will AMP UP their boundary-crossing behavior with every "successful" attempt. So if you have a "policy" of "call me before you come over", for example, they will probably just "drop in" unannounced, just to see how you react, not just because they were in the area.
If you don't say anything, they'll probably see it as a "win", as a successful domination. If you DO say something, they'll either be dismissive toward you and "blow it off", or they'll react emotionally. A *Non-Narcissist would more likely be a little apologetic, not make a big deal about it, and not "blame" you.
*(On the other hand if you were mean about it, then a Non-Narcissist might react with emotion. This is under the assumption that you were polite when you mentioned it.)
A Controller or Narcissist doesn't just try to cross boundaries with specific, already chosen Targets, although their Targets are usually their main focus, trying to get further and further, trying to gain more and more control. They also do it often in the world, trying to FIND NEW targets. It's as if the whole world is a hallway with endless doors; they're always testing and jiggling the doorknobs to see which ones are open, which ones are locked, which locks can be easily "picked", and which doors have solid deadbolts.
MOST Controllers will avoid the doors with deadbolts, but some will consider it a "challenge" and try to break into them.
