Turning normal and even healthy human activities, behaviors, and attributes into "character flaws" about another person, or crimes, betrayals, or abuses, is a very common Narcissism trait/behavior. Further, they'll usually try to convince others that their "assessment" is true.
A Narcissist will turn your enjoyment of coffee from a certain company into you being a "sheep" that follows the crowd, or being "one of those arrogant people".
They'll turn your current hairstyle into an indicator of your entire character and life.
They will turn anything they see you excel at into your being a "show off", being "haughty", or "thinking your All That".
They will turn the way you look physically - the way you were born - into an indication of your entire character and agenda.
Your expression using art, music, dance, or writing will be turned into something negative about you.
Your working on the computer can't be "real work", it HAS to be because you're PRETENDING to do something important in order to GET OUT OF doing "real work".
It's important to note that Narcissists will PROJECT these judgments onto others, but NOT THEMSELVES, or other favored individuals, about the same behavior.
They will use these things to try to shame or guilt the person themselves, OR they will use these things to slander the person to others, or both.
A Narcissist will turn your occasional beer, wine, or cocktail into "alcoholism", while dismissing their habit of 3 beers per night and several on the weekend.
They will turn your past relationships into "evidence" that you are (insert negative judgment here): frigid? cold? whore? loose? unstable? prudish? ...But whatever their past is, it doesn't mean anything negative about them at all.
They'll turn your occasional recreational trips to the casino into a "gambling addiction", while conveniently not mentioning their many weekly lottery tickets, scratch tickets, or football pools.
They'll turn your occasional late-paid bill into a "character flaw" and "bad money habits", but apparently forget all about their credit consolidation, foreclosure, or bankruptcy.
They'll turn your friendships, acquaintances, and family relationships into something negative, something illicit, something with a HIDDEN AGENDA. .... But of course all of their relationships and acquaintances are pure as the driven snow.
Narcissists PROJECT their own motives onto others.
If THEY make "friends" with people because they find them sexually attractive, then that's what they think YOU do.
If THEY only go on the computer to play games and socialize, then that's what they think YOU do.
Narcissists also cast judgment in order to make a targeted person seem BAD or SMALL or UNTRUSTWORTHY, and they are MOST LIKELY to target those they envy, and/or those they have betrayed or hurt.
They also do it in order to DEFLECT JUDGMENT OFF OF THEMSELVES.
When they're pointing at someone else, people tend to look where they're pointing instead of AT THEM.
It's also important to note that Narcissists tend to TRY to gather "dirt" on targeted people, and if they can't find any, they'll just make it up, or TWIST and magnify what they do find.
Incredibly, very few people even seem to take notice that the Narcissist is making judgments about others based on PERSONAL things that are mostly NONE of their business, and RARELY warrant "judgment".
They are the masters of criticism, condemnation and shame, because they make it sound like they're "concerned", or "aggravated", or "helping".
They are the masters of gossip, because they make it sound like they're not gossiping, they're "just talking" or "venting" or "sharing information", but the truth is they're trying to persuade others to go along with their negative judgments about another person.
Narcissists will do this to ANYONE in their lives, including their own children, their "best friend", their spouse, other family members, coworkers, customers, PATIENTS, clients, competitors, and of course political candidates and celebrities.
Literally anyone. It's a tool in their toolbox; they'll use it.
A Narcissist will turn your enjoyment of coffee from a certain company into you being a "sheep" that follows the crowd, or being "one of those arrogant people".
They'll turn your current hairstyle into an indicator of your entire character and life.
They will turn anything they see you excel at into your being a "show off", being "haughty", or "thinking your All That".
They will turn the way you look physically - the way you were born - into an indication of your entire character and agenda.
Your expression using art, music, dance, or writing will be turned into something negative about you.
Your working on the computer can't be "real work", it HAS to be because you're PRETENDING to do something important in order to GET OUT OF doing "real work".
It's important to note that Narcissists will PROJECT these judgments onto others, but NOT THEMSELVES, or other favored individuals, about the same behavior.
They will use these things to try to shame or guilt the person themselves, OR they will use these things to slander the person to others, or both.
A Narcissist will turn your occasional beer, wine, or cocktail into "alcoholism", while dismissing their habit of 3 beers per night and several on the weekend.
They will turn your past relationships into "evidence" that you are (insert negative judgment here): frigid? cold? whore? loose? unstable? prudish? ...But whatever their past is, it doesn't mean anything negative about them at all.
They'll turn your occasional recreational trips to the casino into a "gambling addiction", while conveniently not mentioning their many weekly lottery tickets, scratch tickets, or football pools.
They'll turn your occasional late-paid bill into a "character flaw" and "bad money habits", but apparently forget all about their credit consolidation, foreclosure, or bankruptcy.
They'll turn your friendships, acquaintances, and family relationships into something negative, something illicit, something with a HIDDEN AGENDA. .... But of course all of their relationships and acquaintances are pure as the driven snow.
Narcissists PROJECT their own motives onto others.
If THEY make "friends" with people because they find them sexually attractive, then that's what they think YOU do.
If THEY only go on the computer to play games and socialize, then that's what they think YOU do.
Narcissists also cast judgment in order to make a targeted person seem BAD or SMALL or UNTRUSTWORTHY, and they are MOST LIKELY to target those they envy, and/or those they have betrayed or hurt.
They also do it in order to DEFLECT JUDGMENT OFF OF THEMSELVES.
When they're pointing at someone else, people tend to look where they're pointing instead of AT THEM.
It's also important to note that Narcissists tend to TRY to gather "dirt" on targeted people, and if they can't find any, they'll just make it up, or TWIST and magnify what they do find.
Incredibly, very few people even seem to take notice that the Narcissist is making judgments about others based on PERSONAL things that are mostly NONE of their business, and RARELY warrant "judgment".
They are the masters of criticism, condemnation and shame, because they make it sound like they're "concerned", or "aggravated", or "helping".
They are the masters of gossip, because they make it sound like they're not gossiping, they're "just talking" or "venting" or "sharing information", but the truth is they're trying to persuade others to go along with their negative judgments about another person.
Narcissists will do this to ANYONE in their lives, including their own children, their "best friend", their spouse, other family members, coworkers, customers, PATIENTS, clients, competitors, and of course political candidates and celebrities.
Literally anyone. It's a tool in their toolbox; they'll use it.
