A common controller/narcissist behavior:
purposely NOT doing something, purposely NOT sharing information, purposely hiding something, purposely avoiding something that would PLEASE a Target.
For example, if a Target's favorite singer is having a concert nearby, the N. would purposely NOT tell the Target about it. They might honestly FORGET, because a component of Narcissism is being so self-centered that they tend to only remember things they want for themselves. But it shows itself to be on purpose when they are seen to remember OTHER things that might please someone they're trying to impress.
N.-Controllers will do this all the time, with all kinds of things. Anything that a Target shows interest in, or is pleased or excited by will be the very thing that gets avoided, changed, or nixed. In severe cases, destroyed.
It can be anything at all, from a Target's favorite cartoon character, to a Target's interest or hobby, to important opportunities for a Target's future or career. It can be a pair of shoes that the Target obviously likes, or a hairstyle, or a jacket.
It can be a PERSON who the Target apparently likes or has connected with, any person, including their own child, parent, partner, or a new friend or business associate.
It's one of the N/Controller's most common behaviors: BLOCKING a Target from anything (anything positive and not destructive) that pleases them, interests them, would be good for them, would be fun for them, would be a good opportunity, or would help them build their confidence.
When children grow up around N/Controllers, either in their family or their community, they can develop the habit of blocking THEMSELVES, and avoiding, fearing, or resenting and rejecting positive things. (Some who end up developing N/Control do this to others instead of themselves, repeating the pattern).
purposely NOT doing something, purposely NOT sharing information, purposely hiding something, purposely avoiding something that would PLEASE a Target.
For example, if a Target's favorite singer is having a concert nearby, the N. would purposely NOT tell the Target about it. They might honestly FORGET, because a component of Narcissism is being so self-centered that they tend to only remember things they want for themselves. But it shows itself to be on purpose when they are seen to remember OTHER things that might please someone they're trying to impress.
N.-Controllers will do this all the time, with all kinds of things. Anything that a Target shows interest in, or is pleased or excited by will be the very thing that gets avoided, changed, or nixed. In severe cases, destroyed.
It can be anything at all, from a Target's favorite cartoon character, to a Target's interest or hobby, to important opportunities for a Target's future or career. It can be a pair of shoes that the Target obviously likes, or a hairstyle, or a jacket.
It can be a PERSON who the Target apparently likes or has connected with, any person, including their own child, parent, partner, or a new friend or business associate.
It's one of the N/Controller's most common behaviors: BLOCKING a Target from anything (anything positive and not destructive) that pleases them, interests them, would be good for them, would be fun for them, would be a good opportunity, or would help them build their confidence.
When children grow up around N/Controllers, either in their family or their community, they can develop the habit of blocking THEMSELVES, and avoiding, fearing, or resenting and rejecting positive things. (Some who end up developing N/Control do this to others instead of themselves, repeating the pattern).
