Red Flag: My Friends or Family Members Don't Like My Partner

Red Flag that a friend, family member, or coworker may have Narcissism, or other emotional illness:

~They act strangely, coldly, or negatively toward your other friends, family members, or your romantic partner.

~They look for excuses to 'dislike' and reject the person, but NOT for reasons to accept, welcome, include, or tolerate them.

~They may treat your partner, friend, or family member BETTER than they treat you.

~They may show a negative mood change whenever you spend time with your partner, other friend or family member, or when you talk about the other person in a positive way.

~They may visibly show a lack of friendly manner, courtesy, or respect toward your partner, family member or friend.

~They may display dominance behavior or blatant disrespect toward your partner, friend, or family member.

~They try to get your attention, time, energy and resources away from your partner, other friend, or other family member.

~These behaviors occur in the absence of aggressive, threatening, or disrespectful and cliquey behavior toward them on the part of yourself or your family member, friend, or partner.

~They stay connected and tolerant of people who are hostile toward others, who are bigoted, who are disloyal toward others (cheating, lying), who gossip and slander, who are abusive toward humans or animals, or who do criminal activity including corruption or drugs, BUT they are judgmental and rejecting toward your partner, friend, or family member.

These behaviors show that the person is lacking in several areas that are important for healthy, positive human relationships and connectivity, such as good will, respect for others, and respect for others' relationships. It also shows that the person's behavior is governed by intense moods, emotional reactions, insecurity, possessiveness, and control, not by values, ethics, or integrity.

This can be very difficult to come to terms with. When a person realizes that their friends or family members are not mature enough to deal with their own feelings of resentment, jealousy, envy, prejudice, and insecurity, they often don't know where to turn or what to do. It puts a person in a "double bind", meaning a "lose/lose" situation that's not of their own making. Having a positive relationship with one person means that others are going to react with negativity, rejection, and mood swings. So in order to avoid their negative reactions and behaviors and keep "peace", one must reject or diminish the other positive relationship, which means rejecting that person. 

Treating a person's partner, or other friend or family member poorly is a control tactic. 
"Reject that person, or we'll reject YOU."

Only those with Control Issues act in this manner.Giving in to these Control Tactics means one thing: LOSING the positive relationship.

The "relationships" that one has with Controllers are not genuine, they are conditional, based solely on the beliefs, whims, wants, and emotional reactions of the Controllers, not on MUTUAL respect or friendship. In other words, if you don't fit in with them, if you change or grow, if you do or say anything they don't agree with or that makes them uncomfortable in any way (like if you become more successful, if you don't agree with their politics, if you don't go along with their agendas, or if you don't tiptoe around their egos), they are going to reject you anyway. Regardless of your other relationships.

So rejecting the POSITIVE, HEALTHY relationship in order to avoid rejection from Controllers means rejecting a GOOD situation in order to keep a negative situation.