Trying to make a person feel like they don't belong, are incapable, less worthy, unwanted, unstable, or a "loser" is ONLY done by those with bully and narcissism issues. Make no mistake. This is a bully tactic used for domination and control.
Bullies will often do this back and forth to each other within the group that they're a part of (community, workplace, church, family) because each one is trying to secure their own feeling of belonging in the group.
If they can get the others in the group to go along with calling that person a "loser", they've succeeded in their goal. If they can get the person themselves to buy into self-loathing, they've succeeded in their goal. If they can get the person themselves to BELIEVE that they don't "belong" in their own group, they've succeeded in their goal.
It's actually quite easy for a bully/manipulator to turn people against a person, especially when the group already has prejudice against the type of person who's being targeted. There are more people, apparently, who get a charge out of joining in with slandering or shunning a person than there are people who will refuse to go along with it, behave supportively, or even simply remain neutral.
Those who try to get groups of others to turn on an individual are usually doing it in order to discredit the person, and trying get others to join with them in dominating and crushing the person (just like schoolyard bullying, when other kids are excited about the watching this "fight" and encourage it, instead of stopping it or standing up for the bully's target). Not because the person has actually done something terrible.
It takes a measure of maturity not to join in group shunning, scapegoating, gossip, or bashing of an individual, and it takes even more to stand up for the target, or to be supportive of both the basher and the target.
Bullies will often do this back and forth to each other within the group that they're a part of (community, workplace, church, family) because each one is trying to secure their own feeling of belonging in the group.
If they can get the others in the group to go along with calling that person a "loser", they've succeeded in their goal. If they can get the person themselves to buy into self-loathing, they've succeeded in their goal. If they can get the person themselves to BELIEVE that they don't "belong" in their own group, they've succeeded in their goal.
It's actually quite easy for a bully/manipulator to turn people against a person, especially when the group already has prejudice against the type of person who's being targeted. There are more people, apparently, who get a charge out of joining in with slandering or shunning a person than there are people who will refuse to go along with it, behave supportively, or even simply remain neutral.
Those who try to get groups of others to turn on an individual are usually doing it in order to discredit the person, and trying get others to join with them in dominating and crushing the person (just like schoolyard bullying, when other kids are excited about the watching this "fight" and encourage it, instead of stopping it or standing up for the bully's target). Not because the person has actually done something terrible.
It takes a measure of maturity not to join in group shunning, scapegoating, gossip, or bashing of an individual, and it takes even more to stand up for the target, or to be supportive of both the basher and the target.
