Dating more than one person, dating lots of
people, is not evidence of "bad character". It is evidence of a person
with good boundaries, who knows when they are not compatible enough to
make a permanent commitment. Emotionally healthy people don't commit to
the first person they date, or the second, or the tenth, unless they
believe this person is the one they are interested in marrying, and they
WANT
to do all the work it takes to maintain a marriage because they love
this person, and they are both and each emotionally mature enough to do
it (take responsibility for what they bring to the other person, and
change what they need to). Some people get lucky, they both find that
person right away, and they are mature enough to handle it. But with 7
billion people in the world, the odds of finding "the one" right out of
the gate, and BEING the "right one" for someone else, are pretty low.
Often times we believe we found the "right one", and we are ready and willing to do all the work it takes, and they might believe they are ready too, but they were not. They bit off more than they could chew, and are not able to hold up their end of the relationship. It's not our "fault", it's kind of like believing we could move something that turned out to be heavier than we thought. We either need to get help to move it, or we need to leave it alone. If we don't get help it will never be moved, and if we don't get help but keep trying to move it by ourselves, we will simply end up living our lives around something that is too heavy for us.
Often times we believe we found the "right one", and we are ready and willing to do all the work it takes, and they might believe they are ready too, but they were not. They bit off more than they could chew, and are not able to hold up their end of the relationship. It's not our "fault", it's kind of like believing we could move something that turned out to be heavier than we thought. We either need to get help to move it, or we need to leave it alone. If we don't get help it will never be moved, and if we don't get help but keep trying to move it by ourselves, we will simply end up living our lives around something that is too heavy for us.
