Better Than YOU
Narcissists
are obsessed with domination, and will go to ridiculous lengths to
"prove" they are "better", "smarter", or "right". Since they lack
healthy boundaries and live through others, they can only get self-worth
in unhealthy ways, which means the feeling of self-worth they get is
fleeting and evaporates quickly. They have to keep doing certain things
to recharge and refill it. Healthy self-worth is lasting and is not
easily threatened, and is built from the inside. A person with healthy
self-worth does not need to "prove" him or herself as "more worthy"
(better, stronger, smarter, faster...) than another. They aren't
obsessed with proving themselves "right" and others "wrong", or
themselves "accepted and approved by their crowd" and others as
"unaccepted" or "outcasts". They don't go through life comparing
themselves to others. But those who did not learn about their own
boundaries, who were not taught to feel their own self-worth from the
inside need to feel like they belong and are important too, so they look
for other ways to get that feeling. Children who were denied this
lesson of feeling worthy on the inside without judging, comparing,
competing, dominating and proving, have been denied one of the most
important building blocks to a happy and fulfilling life. They not only
can not see their own true worth, but they can't see the innate worth of
others either. They must relearn and rebuild their own ego health, and
relearn how to see others from the ground up in order to find the
happiness and lasting peace they crave. It can be a very difficult task
when a person is surrounded by others who have narcissism traits,
especially when the others react negatively to a person's changes
(Narcissists live in fantasy hierarchy, so they HATE it when someone in
their world changes, it ruins their character casting in their own
personal movie). Rebuilding one's self-worth, and one's ability to
perceive the innate worth of others, can be done if a person has the
determination to find true happiness and stays on course in the face of
uncomfortable change. The journey can look like a tunnel that's dark,
bleak, and cold, but the light at the end is Golden.
